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deepest darkest fantasies - 8/23/2009 5:40:12 AM   
lilmisscas


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/22/2009
Status: offline 		Hi all, Cassie here. Very new newbie, playing at Domme role with my boyfriend. We are working him through what his fantasies are, and even trying out a few. As it is all his idea (no really) I haven't really come up with anything I am desperate to try. I have left him hard and begging and tied up for an hour, on a whim. But nothing too serious.

So to my question..... without getting the branding iron out or deballatating anyone. What scenes/ fantasies would anyone recommend for some safe sensual exploration that aren'y going to have either of us running to Accident and Emergency, or the psuckiatrist?

I would be overjoyed to hear from anyone as I am in dier need of some guidance.
thanks all
CAS
xx
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 8/23/2009 5:50:09 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Hi, Cassie.

I would STRONGLY suggest that you attend a play party.  This will give you the opportunity to glance around and see dozens of people engaging in all sorts of play, and see whether it interests you or not, and if there seems to be a lot of equipment involved.  Also, if you do admire someone's technique, you can approach him or her when the scene is over (never interrupt anyone scening unless it is a demo) and ask to be trained in what he or she did.

Until then, it's hard to injure your bf with spanking or feminization.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to lilmisscas)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 8/23/2009 6:09:22 AM   
ifallforwomen


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisscas

Hi all, Cassie here. Very new newbie, playing at Domme role with my boyfriend. We are working him through what his fantasies are, and even trying out a few. As it is all his idea (no really) I haven't really come up with anything I am desperate to try. I have left him hard and begging and tied up for an hour, on a whim. But nothing too serious.

So to my question..... without getting the branding iron out or deballatating anyone. What scenes/ fantasies would anyone recommend for some safe sensual exploration that aren'y going to have either of us running to Accident and Emergency, or the psuckiatrist?

I would be overjoyed to hear from anyone as I am in dier need of some guidance.
thanks all
CAS
xx

quote:

Hi all, Cassie here. Very new newbie, playing at Domme role with my boyfriend. We are working him through what his fantasies are, and even trying out a few. As it is all his idea (no really) I haven't really come up with anything I am desperate to try. I have left him hard and begging and tied up for an hour, on a whim. But nothing too serious.

So to my question..... without getting the branding iron out or deballatating anyone. What scenes/ fantasies would anyone recommend for some safe sensual exploration that aren'y going to have either of us running to Accident and Emergency, or the psuckiatrist?

I would be overjoyed to hear from anyone as I am in dier need of some guidance.
thanks all
CAS
xx
Good day Superb Mistress,


Well, as a male sub myself with some moderate experience, i'd like to suggest some things for a start that will not harm your sub or your relationship with him.

It doesn't necessarily have to be violent (torture), dangerous (unhealthy) or risky to be be BDSM. I suggest that you take this according to the fantasies you or have may have and work on this. For example, you could tame your boyfriend progressively toward your needs, to bring him up to your level of satisfaction., as a BDSM relationship of this kind should always center on your pleasure first. If he's the one with all the fantasies, that won't work. You have to believe in yourself and really want to take advantage of power play and turn your lover into your deepest fantasy as an object of submission for you.

Do you want him to fantasize on you? Have you ever thought of cuckolding him? You can buy a chastity belt so that you hold the keys to his sexuality. Make him dependent on you for sex, make him faithful to you as you could also explore your sexuality further. do you have an ex-boyfriend you could use to have sex with, while your present boyfriend watches? Or, if you are not in that kind of thing, you can explore fetishes: does he have a thing for your feet? Let him become a freak of your feet by letting him lick them, kiss them, suck your toes?

You can use many BDSM accessories which would excite you both (visit a Fetish shop). I suggest, that first you define how you view your relationship together, then elaborate ans take the time to explore...Do you have pleasure thinking of dominating him, or does it seems he only has the fantasies? Believe me, you have to find your own fantasies to really become at ease with this. If you know exactly what things you want to try, even wild things, then acquire self-confidence, by setting your rules he'll have to respect and obey. By this time, you'll come up with something as probably your boyfriend will become begging for more and more...This depends on which level of Domination you are willing to assume. Is it only a vanilla thing you seek? Or do you want to have many slaves at your feet?

As a slave of women myself, i would be very grateful to you if you reply to this...I want to help you gain confidence as i would help any woman who want to explore and become happy in this fabulous world of superior women..

Kissing your feet with respect....slave frank

_____________________________

Depending on the Woman i am with, i am 2 things: 1- submissive to very charismatic and attractive Dominas who know how to seduce & handle me & getting the better out of me; 2- Dominant toward very feminine, provocative & sexy female slaves.

(in reply to lilmisscas)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 8/23/2009 11:31:28 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		You really don't need that many tools, so don't be tempted to go out and spend a fortune. A tool is only as good as its owners imagination.
Sounds like your in deep talks with your guy and that will bring out a world of imagination that is far more valuable than any material goods.
Dark Stephen makes a good point, though its not always easy in a club to see what is going on within the mind of two players.

A good one is interrogation. Get him all tied up and blindfolded and then ask him for his pin number. Explain to him that once he gives you his pin number the interrogation will end ( in other words his pin number/any numbers will be his safe word) If you want to know how to really head fuck him without laying so much as a finger on him then message me on the other side and I will happily give you a few tips

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to ifallforwomen)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 8/23/2009 11:48:01 AM   
cornflakegirl


Posts: 183
Joined: 7/1/2009
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		One thing I did right at the beginning was look for a list used for negotiation. It can't list *everything* but it gives a good overview of lots of common BDSM activities. While you and he go over the list for purposes of finding limits, you can also look for inspiration. :)

_____________________________

I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well.

Away from the computer more often than not.

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/7/2009 5:55:46 AM   
mauve


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		Well I started off with spanking (I had to ask for it...hehe). Then it sort of progressed from there.
If your both really new you might like to try blindfolding him, spanking, tying him to a chair or bed, give him what he likes. Or not. Depends on your mood.
Maybe tie him up and masterbate in front of him. Let him see what he can't have. *evil laugh*
Make him give you oral sex?
Depends what your into. The options only as limited as your imagination.
Have fun

(in reply to cornflakegirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/7/2009 2:56:04 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisscas

So to my question..... without ... deballatating anyone.


You keep usin that word- I don think it means what you think it means.

Made me cross my legs in reflex, in any case...

(in reply to lilmisscas)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/7/2009 3:00:26 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Silence...... Like for a full 24 hour Period.

That would be SUPER FANTASTIC!

Also Rex, if you are going to Quote Enigo Montoya you need to remember he dosen't use contractions.

quote:

THIS IS INCONCEIVABLE!

You Keep Using that Word.... I do not think it means what you think it means


_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/7/2009 5:08:51 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Made me cross my legs in reflex, in any case...

I thought that was her intent, actually


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/7/2009 11:27:41 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisscas

Hi all, Cassie here. Very new newbie, playing at Domme role with my boyfriend. We are working him through what his fantasies are, and even trying out a few. As it is all his idea (no really) I haven't really come up with anything I am desperate to try. I have left him hard and begging and tied up for an hour, on a whim. But nothing too serious.

So to my question..... without getting the branding iron out or deballatating anyone. What scenes/ fantasies would anyone recommend for some safe sensual exploration that aren'y going to have either of us running to Accident and Emergency, or the psuckiatrist?

I would be overjoyed to hear from anyone as I am in dier need of some guidance.
thanks all
CAS
xx


Well since you are new I would suggest you reseach any activity before you attempt it. Even something as simple as tying someone could have grave repercussions if done incorrectly. Also I would advise investigating your partners health. Do you know if they are a bleeder? Do you know what to do in the event they were to go into a diabetic comma? Do not assume just because you are young, you are immune from some health issues.


_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to lilmisscas)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/8/2009 1:14:06 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
Do you know what to do in the event they were to go into a diabetic comma?


i think you mean insulin shock, ie extreme hypoglycemia, not hyperglycemia...unless your idea of bdsm is to force feed a diabetic 10lbs of chocolate...

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/8/2009 8:23:11 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		LMAO... Your humor is going to make me ruin my keyboard. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisscas

So to my question..... without ... deballatating anyone.


You keep usin that word- I don think it means what you think it means.

Made me cross my legs in reflex, in any case...

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/8/2009 9:59:05 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Try some bondage combined with a blindfold. This is good for beginners. Tie your partner naked and face up. then before you blindfold them, let them see you set a loudly ticking kitchen timer for an hour. Then as it ticks next to their ear, the teasing begins. Use your fingers, hands, feet, mouth, a piece of fur, feather, buzzy toys, your hair if it is long enough, you get the idea.. but NO penetration and definitely no orgasm. Make them BEG. then, when the timer goes off, turn them loose and brace yaself LOL. this even works well with nilla partners.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/8/2009 6:20:04 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I guess you won’t need an elastrator if “deballataion” isn’t on your list.

Light bondage might be a good place to start since it already seems to have your interest. Here is a link to a bunch of online instructional videos: -=Several Instructional Rope Bondage Videos=-

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to lilmisscas)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/8/2009 7:10:57 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Silence...... Like for a full 24 hour Period.

That would be SUPER FANTASTIC!

Also Rex, if you are going to Quote Enigo Montoya you need to remember he dosen't use contractions.

quote:

THIS IS INCONCEIVABLE!

You Keep Using that Word.... I do not think it means what you think it means




Love me some Mandy Patinkin...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-b7RmmMJeo



_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/12/2009 2:40:46 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I would STRONGLY suggest that you attend a play party. 



Cassie... I would STRONGLY suggest you IGNORE such silly advice, as play parties, clubs and such often encourage group-think and generally involves people who place their primary focus on the wrong elements of the power exchange dynamic (e.g., emphasis on the physical acrobatics of it all, not the mental/emotional; and even less on the relationship component). 

Just Google "BDSM Checklist" (I know someone here once provided a good link to a very long/thorough one), each of you go through the checklist, compare, discuss, then play in those areas that interest you both.  Also, don't fall into the "lifestyle" crap that's also frequently the centerpiece of "play parties" and such.  Are straight people living a "lifestyle"?  Are gay people living a "lifestyle"?  No!  Everyone just lives their life. And BDSM couples are no different.  Period.

If you want your relationship to continue to be a "relationship", then ignore the club/party bullshit.  The only reason some (often guys) encourage going to parties and clubs is in the hopes they can entice you to play with them too.  If you want to see others play, you're only a few mouse clicks away from doing so via the internet.

You want to learn?  You don't need a "play party" to do that.  Instead, think Nike... and Just Do It!





_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/12/2009 4:17:25 PM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisscas

Hi all, Cassie here. Very new newbie, playing at Domme role with my boyfriend. We are working him through what his fantasies are, and even trying out a few. As it is all his idea (no really) I haven't really come up with anything I am desperate to try. I have left him hard and begging and tied up for an hour, on a whim. But nothing too serious.

So to my question..... without getting the branding iron out or deballatating anyone. What scenes/ fantasies would anyone recommend for some safe sensual exploration that aren'y going to have either of us running to Accident and Emergency, or the psuckiatrist?

I would be overjoyed to hear from anyone as I am in dier need of some guidance.
thanks all
CAS
xx


my fetishes are different then yours. so, heres my suggestion look at porn, talk with friends privately about different fantasies you have, talk to your dom or submissive about things they like or want to try. there you go.


_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to lilmisscas)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/12/2009 4:20:55 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		OP,

Well fuck, girl.......you don't weigh as much as an american penny, lookin at ya, look up queening and shit like that, hell, you couldn't possibly hurt him that way.
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/12/2009 4:37:51 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Look up a kink checklist online. There are tons. Read the items and see what looks like it might be interesting to you. Then, look those activities up online. There are tons of how tos and the like available online. Id suggest against a play party or anything like that at this point in your exploration... it is likely going to be far more extreme than you are ready for and not everyone is comfortable being present in situations like that. 14 years under my belt and I still dont like them.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: deepest darkest fantasies - 9/14/2009 9:08:13 PM   
submale1203


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/20/2009
Status: offline 		Keeping him horny will mkae him want you even more. Tease him all day long with hot text messages or e-mails and then when you get together make him give you a full body massage or foot rub with the suggestion of a possible orgasm for him if its good. Try new things some will work some won't. If you enjoy it then keep that and discard what doesn't work for you.

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 20
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