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To much time on your hands - 8/23/2009 2:34:29 PM

mydestiny2043

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From: Southern California
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Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this to all your friends ......

it will be their laugh for the day!

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RE: To much time on your hands - 8/23/2009 2:52:33 PM

daintydimples

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ROFL

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RE: To much time on your hands - 8/23/2009 3:23:54 PM

MasterG2kTR

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RE: To much time on your hands - 8/23/2009 8:04:22 PM

YoursMistress

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OMG, that's hilarious!!!

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RE: To much time on your hands - 8/23/2009 11:13:29 PM

Rhodes85

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From: Nova Scotia, Canada
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LOL! I laughed so hard at that I nearly choked on a pretzel.

Though i'd be careful who you tell that joke to...some people might actually try it...

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RE: To much time on your hands - 8/24/2009 2:48:16 AM

BitaTruble

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That so didn't go where I thought it was going to go! I was picturing the treats in a pocket and losing weight because you were running like hell from a pack of dogs trying to get into your pants!

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RE: To much time on your hands - 8/24/2009 9:15:29 AM

NightTigress

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rofl

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RE: To much time on your hands - 8/24/2009 1:44:01 PM

fuzzybear590

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I laughed so hard my dentures fell out!

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RE: To much time on your hands - 8/24/2009 1:47:28 PM

GoddessImaginos

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fuzzybear590

I laughed so hard my dentures fell out!

My mama stepped out of her front door one morning so early that it was still dark out, on her way to work. It had snowed a lot and was bitterly cold, and when that cold hit her nose she sneezed and blew both plates of her dentures into a snowbank. Then she was laughing so hard she could hardly dig for them. Bless her soul..

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RE: To much time on your hands - 8/24/2009 1:56:33 PM

Kat713

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that was pretty funny

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RE: To much time on your hands - 8/24/2009 4:14:14 PM

Furf

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while the story is hilarious and something id probably do .. you really shouldn't be buying the Purina dog food.

Whole dog journal did a study on all major brands of dog food and Purina only scored an 82 out of 100
believe it or not .. the Kirkland brand Costco dog food <lamb and or chicken> rated 102 out of 100 in the study <you can get extra points by adding certain ingredients like flax seed oil> and is much better for the dog. <wife is a vet tech and professional dog trainer>

its also almost 1/2 the price of Purina.

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