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Falkenstein -> RE: Can You Be "OUT" About Being a Sub Male? (8/26/2009 3:31:01 PM)
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Mainstream people have too much ignorance and prejudice against BDSM to take such a risk,
Here a little story from Germany, where the main sex-toys retailer (Beate Uhse Versand) is a stock-listed company and where the (late) talk shows were a few years ago full of scene people, after the publication of a good book about being a female masochistin.
I was in the train in a compartment, with quite a nice lady, and wanted to engage the conversation,
so I asked her "What are you reading?" (lame pickup line, isn'it?)
and she wittingly answered "it is a book about sex, it says that in bed the most endurant men are the Indians and the most imaginative the Polish".
I, standing up "Please let me introduce myself. My name is Kolwasky, Geronimo Kolwasky"
It is an old classical joke, but saying it for real made us laugh to tears. Travelling in train with compartments in Germany is great. For a few hours your are in complete intimity with total strangers who you never will meet again. It is a prefect occasion to vent your politically incorrect opinions, fantasms, play games, in a society that is not really in favor of openess. You can say things that you would never tell a close friend.
These trains also have good stocked bars with draft beer. So I got a Bitburger for me and a vine for her and we started discussing romance, then sex. She asked me for example why were men so into sodomy (the real one, not the Georgia). Her husband had tried to...but she fand it dirty. Besids that, he was often too tired... So, at a turn of the sentence, I mentionned my taste for BDSM. She curled and the temperature fell. She looked disgusted, maybe a bit afraid, but still curious and probably she did not want to look old fashioned. I described it the best I could. Yes my partner had to want it too. No I did not force her, it had to be safe, sane and consensual. No, in a scene, my objective was not to hurt my partner but to have her cum and howl of pleasure like the proverbial coyote. Yes some women really like it so. Temperature rose again enough for me to get us two drinks again and still find her in the compartment.
She told me that she would not like being tied, but found leather and corset very sexy and somehow she asked me if I found very often submissive women. I said no, regrettably and as an example cite my girlfriend of then, who was really not into it. So how was then my sex life? well pretty much like her and her husband, except for tiredness and the backside part... But, as she followed, I could not act my fantasies, was is not very frustrating? Yes of course it is.
Then the lady asks almost as an afterthought: Why don't you visit a doctor? That one got the temperature back to artic conditions. Why should I? I asked back in the relaxed tone of guy who got his hot coffe on his crotch and try to remain cool in front of his date. And she very naturally: "Maybe they can help and you would be much happier afterwards". This was said without obvious will to hurt or disparage me, just a christian caring thought.
So, when even libertine women in liberal, sex-offen Germany think that BDSM a curable disease, I do not think that outing one's kink is a very good idea.
Greetings from not-that-liberal old Europe
Henry
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