|
CaringandReal -> RE: Using a Humorous Generic Response Form (8/30/2009 12:59:25 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
Going totally against the grain here. I don't understand how such an obviously humorous response (or any response, short of outright hatred) would at all be insulting to anyone unless the person who reads it had ridiculously unrealistic expectations or is being disproportionately sensitive to the reply to a verbal imposition they made on someone else.
What he said.
You've described 90% of the men who write me, and, I think other women. That's why we don't answer and just block. Even the ones that write nice opening letters, have nice profiles, and receive a nice "thanks for writing but we aren't compatible" email back, go ballistic, and put the lie to all their "niceness."
I frequently get hostility when I simply write a male dominant to say something nice or compliment their profile, so I don't do that as often anymore. Sometimes I'm just trying to give positive feedback to someone who did something interesting or cool in their profile; sometimes it's an opening, an attempt to connect. I always make it clear (as creatively and enjoyably for the other person as I can) which it is. Surprisingly often, sincerity or a friendly comment is taken as an insult or sarcasm or something else negative and imagined. Once I got into this longer (than I normally like) conversation with some guy I complimented because I made the mistake of replying to his hostile response with, "hey you misunderstood, I think you're great!" Did he preen or at least feel good after that, as I expected he would? Nuh-uh. He found a way to turn that into an even worse attack on him. So I tried once more to explain/fix things and when his response again was to read "day" when I wrote "night," and "up" where I said "down," I got fed up. I told him he was a fool and then blocked him. This probably completely confirmed his fondly-held belief that all women are out to get him. It was so strange, however, to see that advanced a level of paranoia from someone whose profile appeared so honest and intelligent.
Self-deprecating humor in an email is also almost universally misunderstood by the male dominants I've written on Collarme as a personal attack on themselves. When that happens I don't bother to try to explain more. I just shake my head and laugh as I know instantly I'm dealing with a man who, despite what he may say on his profile, has little or no experience with actual submissives.
|
|
|
|
