OttersSwim -> RE: What is exciting about pain (8/27/2009 7:53:47 AM)
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I am NOT a natural masochist. I write this post from the perspective of a submissive in a loving power exchange relationship with his Dominant Lady. Pain is a process...pain is a vehicle...pain is a connection... Pain is a process - when the blow lands, few people are immediately excited or happy about it. It frickin hurts. The process begins in processing each blow from the initial sting/thud/poke/burn/puncture and you breathe through the fire of your nerves reacting to it. It subsides into heat, or dull ache, or numbness and the next blow lands and you process that. Blow upon blow are like threads put together and before you know it, your scene has woven a tapestry of sensation in pain - an overall experience that you have gone through with someone else. Process continues after the session with aftercare where emotion may well up, into the next day/days when you process the overall experience into a "perspective". That perspective has never been negative, at least for me. While the sensation at the time was unpleasant, the overall experience was very pleasant. Read on to find out why. Pain is a vehicle - You and your Dominant are on a journey together. When you scene, you both drive, and you both are passengers. The trip you take together is punctuated by sensation given by the Dominant and received by you. In that sense, the Dominant is driving...but your reaction drives the Dominant too. Pain is also a vehicle in the sense of what it delivers to you both - endorphins, bliss, emotion, connection, excitement, fear, rage, tranquility...the pain drives you both to a destination. In my experience it has been one of endorphin rushed emotional release followed by intense tranquility and deep connection with my Dominant. Pain is connection - it begins with trust. I am trusting my Dominant enough to take me on a journey; to watch me and understand where I am at at all points in that journey; enough to know how to proceed, and even if to proceed. They receive my trust and in turn are trusting me to give myself over to the journey, to provide feedback, and use the sensation that they give me as a channel to connection with them. My reactions in turn, provides a channel for connection in Her. We both feed from the sensation - and it is not just pain. Pain is only part of the overall experience. Our play is very sensual and sexual and the pain creates connections to sexual energy and arrousal in both of us (more for Her than for me as of this writing, but I am evolving). I suffer for Her, I endure for Her - that is an expression of my love. She hurts me as a means to express Her love for me. She needs to hurt me, I need to be hurt. The exchange of power in relationship creates incredible connection. Um...so yea. At the time, it hurts and unless I am really ramped up, is not usually pleasant. But it is not the pain that is important here - it is the process, the journey, and the connection that it creates in a power exchange relationship that is what it's really about. My perspective. [:)]
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