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Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 4:48:29 PM   
gracesky


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/29/2009
Status: offline 		How do you handle negative attention?

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 4:50:01 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		negatively.........

could you kinda not go to the bottom line, rule the world sorta thing right away?

what do you mean, negative attention.....wankers? people ignoring the shit outta you?

give, queenie, give!!!!!!!!

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 4:52:14 PM   
gracesky


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/29/2009
Status: offline 		i mean those that behave badly to get attention.

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 4:59:07 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Dont give them any attention if they behave badly and make they get it when they behave well

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'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 5:00:54 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gracesky

How do you handle negative attention?


find better company.

porcelaine


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RE: Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 5:02:47 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I ignore them. I don't respond to them.

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 5:31:06 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		On-line i block them (which i rarely do), in my day to day life i ignore them.  The reason i block them is because i'm nosy and want to see what they come up with, although the whinning gets a bit much.


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RE: Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 6:52:36 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		i usually remind them where the door is, and tell them they belong on the other side of it

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 9:32:35 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Years ago when I had and was showing Afghan Hounds, I'd find at times one of more of them would be naughty and even destructive. I discovered that this happened when I had an overload of work and wasn't giving them the time they needed. In other words it was better from their perspective to have me being angry with them than having me ignoring them. Hmm I seem to remember that children do this too.

First I locate the cause and then work out the best way to eliminate that problem. Our two dogs touch base with me regularly. Storm touches me with his nose and sits quietly out of the way till I stop and spend a couple of minutes paying him attention with ghest ftrokes, head strokibng and rubbing as well as rubbing our muzzles together in a short shuggle fest. same for RaRa who justb mostly wants to be acknowledge before she heads of again on the eternal mouse hunt or playing in and out of a bath tub filled with water in my front yard.


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RE: Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 10:33:24 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I keep walking on. I'm here for me and not them. Dirty looks and smirk remarks don't pay my bills nor tell me where I can and can't go. I live as I want to, say as I want to, and do as I want to.

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/26/2009 11:14:09 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gracesky

How do you handle negative attention?


From whom?




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RE: Negative Attention - 8/27/2009 2:00:10 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Years ago when I had and was showing Afghan Hounds, I'd find at times one of more of them would be naughty and even destructive. I discovered that this happened when I had an overload of work and wasn't giving them the time they needed. In other words it was better from their perspective to have me being angry with them than having me ignoring them. Hmm I seem to remember that children do this too.

First I locate the cause and then work out the best way to eliminate that problem. Our two dogs touch base with me regularly. Storm touches me with his nose and sits quietly out of the way till I stop and spend a couple of minutes paying him attention with ghest ftrokes, head strokibng and rubbing as well as rubbing our muzzles together in a short shuggle fest. same for RaRa who justb mostly wants to be acknowledge before she heads of again on the eternal mouse hunt or playing in and out of a bath tub filled with water in my front yard.



Your right, negative attention is better than no attention at all and this applies especially with children and in your case with animals. I had a collie that was similar to your Afghan IB!
Children look for rules and if not enough rules are in place they will continually test the limits.

A naughty submissive may well not be getting (in her/his mind) enough Dominance or may be testing that very Dominance really exists.
The brats I have seen tend to be with the milder side of BDSM, the naughty school girls types, the spanking fraternity. They are often self centered with low self esteem.

I don't have the patience to deal with people like this but I have seen many that do. As far as I am concerned they are welcome to them.



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RE: Negative Attention - 8/27/2009 3:31:39 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gracesky

i mean those that behave badly to get attention.


AKA a Brat..... They get a chance to correct the behaviour. If they don't take it then the word "Dismissed" is likely to figure strongly in the next conversation.

My girl is sensible enough never to go there, My last playpartner wasn't.... I still Own My girl, I currently have no playpartner.... nuff said.


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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/27/2009 3:37:21 AM   
RebornMaster


Posts: 53
Joined: 8/26/2009
From: American in Misawa, Japan
Status: offline 		I can only assume, which is dangerous, you're talking about "my" slave as far as the question goes and how I react to it.

There is, in my opinion, different kinds of "negative attention" seeking. She could be very naughty and break the rules and ask for something, she could start begging which is not allowed...there are lots of ways one could act negatively is my point. Her punishment, or lack thereof (ignore her) depends on her specific behavior and whether she broke a rule or "just" was seeking attention in some other way.

Edited to say this is in reply to the OP...not the gentleman above me...I havent figured out this board and how to reply "normally" yet. haha...kinda confusing :)  


< Message edited by RebornMaster -- 8/27/2009 3:50:13 AM >

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/27/2009 3:40:38 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		FR

Gotta say though, I imagine many people are guilty of this on occasion, myself included.

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'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/27/2009 3:57:45 AM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Years ago when I had and was showing Afghan Hounds, I'd find at times one of more of them would be naughty and even destructive. I discovered that this happened when I had an overload of work and wasn't giving them the time they needed. In other words it was better from their perspective to have me being angry with them than having me ignoring them. Hmm I seem to remember that children do this too.

First I locate the cause and then work out the best way to eliminate that problem. Our two dogs touch base with me regularly. Storm touches me with his nose and sits quietly out of the way till I stop and spend a couple of minutes paying him attention with ghest ftrokes, head strokibng and rubbing as well as rubbing our muzzles together in a short shuggle fest. same for RaRa who justb mostly wants to be acknowledge before she heads of again on the eternal mouse hunt or playing in and out of a bath tub filled with water in my front yard.



You are a very wise man.

I think most bad behavior or what people would term bratty behavior is based on lack of attention or not getting needs met in some way.

< Message edited by daintydimples -- 8/27/2009 3:58:22 AM >

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/27/2009 4:01:09 AM   
RebornMaster


Posts: 53
Joined: 8/26/2009
From: American in Misawa, Japan
Status: offline 		I agree, nobody is perfect no matter how hard they try and want to be. 

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/27/2009 4:08:40 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gracesky
How do you handle negative attention?

With positive negativity.

This is the only way to go

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∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/27/2009 4:11:32 AM   
CNJDom


Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
Status: offline 		If I come across someone behaving badly to gain attention, my first notion internally is to react, but I hold back since this is a ploy to yank my chain for a reaction.  The best action is not to react how that person is wanting you to react...which is to participate in this behavior.  Refusing to participate on their level is key, since they are willing to receive negative attention (which in my mind is a lot of energy spent on nothing substantial) aka sternness, whipping or spanking them, or even raising my voice.  To be in control, you have to be in control of yourself first, and this behavior is a test of that control in my book. 

If I am unlucky enough to be dealing with a bratty person for any period of time, I WILL give them attention during those bratty moments; but not in the desired way they are planning or however they may have thought it out.  By letting them know that their behavior is uncalled for, unappreciated, and disappointing if not diminishing to me; I'm not going to feed into this behavior allowing it continue or condone it for the future.  I will not give them reason to continue and will let them know that when they are ready to behave accordingly, that I will then respond accordingly.  

< Message edited by CNJDom -- 8/27/2009 4:13:32 AM >

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RE: Negative Attention - 8/27/2009 4:17:42 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		I also think it is important to recognise that it isnt always a thought out thing. If I am feeling down or depressed or whatever I can be quite difficult, it isn't me trying to manipulate attention in a conscious way, but that more often than not is a big reason for it. If that makes me a brat then I guess I can live with it, but I would imagine it makes most human beings brats

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to CNJDom)
Profile   Post #: 20
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