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daintydimples -> RE: Asking vs Manipulating (8/31/2009 12:39:07 PM)
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Both terms, needy and manipulative, tend to have negative connotations. But as ranja so beautifully pointed out, manipulation is not, in and of itself, negative. Neither is being needy. Needy has such a negative connotation that some believe to be needy IS to be manipulative and passive/aggressive. I disagree.
All humans have emotional needs. What you do to satisfy those needs certainly varies with the individual. I would say, as a general rule, submissives need to be found pleasing, need to obedient, need to be desired (at least by their dominant). Now I can be flippant and say, "My male sub is needy for ME because as a dominant, I created that desire in him." But where does that stop? If that statement is true, than it is equally true that dominants need to create that need.
It's a symbiotic relationship to me. To get into my philosophy that part of a dominants' role is to create need in the submissive is going a bit off topic.
For Acer49: I would say 90% of my experiences have been with sub males. And although I see some marked differences between male and female subs, I'm not sure that's germane to this discussion.
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