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Fnordstrum -> RE: Laying to rest some online BDSM myths (9/3/2009 11:02:29 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MrRodgers
quote:
ORIGINAL: stella41b
There are numerous myths connected with both online dating and with BDSM and I just felt it worth trying to lay some online BDSM myths to rest when it comes to meeting people.
Perhaps the most common of these myths which you hear time and time again on BDSM message boards is that meeting people online isn't real life. Really? Pray tell me how you manage to transform yourself into a bot, hologram or anime? When did you cease to become a living, functioning human being sat in front of a real computer which you are using in a real home as a real time activity in your own real life? Yes you are a real person living a real life merely interacting with another real person living a real life and therefore the interaction between you is just as real as a phone call, traditional letter or a face to face meeting. And when you plan to meet that person and turn up for that meeting your interaction is indeed real life and face to face.
Some people will tell you that meeting people online or the online BDSM community is some sort of crutch. But if so, then surely munches, clubs and events are also crutches?
I have to reply to this part. When I was a young motorhead from Detroit, I read car magazines and heard and read repeatedly that one cannot learn about building or repairing cars...from a magazine...reading about it only. You have to do the work...turn wrenches.
The same applies here. One does not learn entirely from the computer screen. How many a masochist inform us the cyber exeprience does not transfer to real-time experience for the sadist.
Online is NOT real-time. Online is 'digital' only...images and words on a computer screen and while it can be powerful in communication and build an exciting anticipation...nothing more. It is often still anonymous and most importantly...NOT tactile.
Realtime is ALL tactile. One feels the presence of another, one feels the embrace and the heat from another and then of course...one feels on their bodies...and on their skin just what is BDSM and other kinky, sexual fetishes. One does not feel the tactile the physical extremes of real-time...from a computer screen.
Furthermore, munches, clubs and events are actual phyiscal indulgences not found through the detachment of a computer screen. All of the fetishes we enjoy evolved from centuries of what...real-time practices and actual physical experiences...not from a computer screen no matter how real IT (yet not turning a wrench) is to some.
It seems you are referring to online play not being the same as real life play, which is completely different from the original post referring to meeting people / talking to them / getting to know them / etc online...
Which I think most people would agree, while there are types of play you can do online, regardless of if you are into it /love it / etc, is very different from doing anything in real life --- However, when it comes to just talking to people, talking online is not much different from in person.
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