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What to try first?? - 8/31/2009 8:10:59 PM   
snowqueen99507


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Alaska
Status: offline 		I am a beginner at this alternate lifestyle and a blank canves. And as such, I am asking for suggestions on what to try first and/or second? I got my first flogging the other day and allthough he was very gentle, when all was said and done it stung like a bitch. I felt much better when I was the one weilding the flogger on him.

Suggestions for the beginner?

< Message edited by snowqueen99507 -- 8/31/2009 8:12:28 PM >
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RE: What to try first?? - 8/31/2009 8:18:23 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Slow down and learn to practice in a safe manner. Learn some anatomy, good technique, sanitation, etc. Have you guys discussed things like what you want to try or not, how to know things are going into dangerous territory, etc. I know it's exciting, but there is a lot to consider.

lovingpet

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RE: What to try first?? - 8/31/2009 8:22:25 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		A blindfold?

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RE: What to try first?? - 8/31/2009 8:27:27 PM   
snowqueen99507


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Alaska
Status: offline 		Thank you lovingpet for the advise. What you say rings true.

My partner is very knowledgeable in the workings of BDSM. We have talked extensivly and I have had all of my questions and concerns answered to my satisfaction thus far. We have agreed on the "safe" word and my first encounter was interesting, exciting and preformed with my well being in mind.
I posted here to inlist suggestions for our next play time together as I was asked what I wanted to explore next. With myself being so new I did not know what to give for an answer.

Alyee: a blindfold is a good suggestion and one that I would be comfortable with.

< Message edited by snowqueen99507 -- 8/31/2009 8:33:04 PM >

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RE: What to try first?? - 8/31/2009 8:50:21 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I didn't mean to be rude. When I hear new and that kind of excitement, my first thought is proceed with caution. If you have done that, then go with things that really get your motor running...things that get your attention the most. There is no use in trying to put yourself through something that is ify to you at this point. Go for stuff you think you will like so you build up some good experiences. I little spanking and some light bondage is a pretty decent bet. I'd stay away from restricting too many cues that he may need to keep you safe. With that bountiful experience, I am sure he can find a good pace for you. Filling in the blanks about what you would really enjoy trying is not something we can do for you. I can tell you what I enjoyed in my first few sessions, but it may not be at all suitable for you. We did a little work with lots of different toys, lightly for the most part. After a couple of visits we did a gag and restraints. He got heavier with the use of canes over time. We do a lot of mental stuff and some things that tend to be for our eyes only. It's a great, fun, nerve wracking journey. Enjoy!

lovingpet

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RE: What to try first?? - 8/31/2009 9:05:00 PM   
snowqueen99507


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Alaska
Status: offline 		I appreciate your candidness and insite lovingpet. You were not rude in the slightest. I was seeking insite and was given just that. And while it's true that my "play list" may be vastly different from yours, I still got a glimps of the endless possibilities that are at my command.

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RE: What to try first?? - 8/31/2009 9:18:37 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I am not a huge one for these, but google bdsm checklist. There will be lots of hits. It will give you a list of activities and let you rate your interest, how you want to try it, etc. If you run across a term you don't know. Google it, or use the search function here. It will give you LOADS of ideas, including some things you may not want ANYTHING to do with! LOL

lovingpet

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RE: What to try first?? - 8/31/2009 9:23:51 PM   
sweetsmileysub


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/30/2009
Status: offline 		Just take your time and discuss what experience the person you are with has to offer and what you, yourself are wanting to experiment with.  We all have our limits of what we will do and that all needs to be out on the table.  Keep in consideration things you are allergic to and precautions if there are health concerns. 

If you experience everything at once then there wont be any need to want to come back.  Starting out in this lifestyle is like building a relationship it takes time, trust, patience and definate knowledge of what you are getting yourself into.  Please feel free to do lots of research online of things that interest you and what you may want to discuss with your partner the next time you are together.

Good luck in your endevors.

Sassy

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RE: What to try first?? - 8/31/2009 9:32:56 PM   
snowqueen99507


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Alaska
Status: offline 		I knew I posted this topic for a reason.

Experience, insite and candid replies are what I was seeking. Thank you all for giving a voice to my request for information and suggestions. I have a starting point now..........

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RE: What to try first?? - 8/31/2009 9:35:17 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Glad to help and many wishes for the future for you!

lovingpet

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RE: What to try first?? - 9/1/2009 1:52:01 PM   
snowqueen99507


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Alaska
Status: offline 		I must admit I am looking forward to the weekend. His lessons will have to be very selective.........least I turn them on him...........LOL

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RE: What to try first?? - 9/1/2009 4:58:19 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		A flogging need not sting.
Different leathers can provide different sensations, as can how many tails the flogger had and how your partner uses it.

Do you yet know if you want to explore the more sensual aspect of play or does erotic pain intrigue you?

What interests you?

Beginning slow and building is always good.
You can always increase intensity.
Too much, too soon is a more difficult adjustment to make.

edit: spelling

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 9/1/2009 4:59:29 PM >

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RE: What to try first?? - 9/1/2009 5:03:48 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Google BDSM checklists. Check off the things that make you go "ooh yes". Try the things you both rate highly first, it gives you better odds of enjoying it. And then talk about it afterwards.

But do expect that some things are better in fantasy than reality. If you find a stingy sensation is unpleasant, try thuddy ones instead.

And expect that some things will for no apparent reason freak you out.

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RE: What to try first?? - 9/1/2009 11:37:17 PM   
snowqueen99507


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Alaska
Status: offline 		We are exploring the more sensual aspect of play with a pinch of small amounts of pain mixed in.

And I can honestly state that pain is not my thing.


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RE: What to try first?? - 9/2/2009 12:11:54 AM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		what to try first? what do you fantasize about... start with that.  it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks about your kink except for you and your partner.

something i did as a beginner was i asked other people what they liked (not in detail) just talked to them online and usually people are pretty open, with that i was able to create different fantasies that i wanted to try. but this is just a suggestion not something you need to do. you can also look online at different pictures thats something else i did to try and expand my personal opinions of things i wanted to try. its all up to you.


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RE: What to try first?? - 9/2/2009 9:22:20 AM   
snowqueen99507


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Alaska
Status: offline 		The suggestions comming my way have been great. I have a "play list" derived from comments here on this post, ranging from the BDSM checklists, erotic pictures, PM suggestions and my own fantasies of acts that scream "OH YEAH"

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RE: What to try first?? - 9/2/2009 12:29:55 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		Try something you absolutely hate and never comprehended even considering doing but it's something he enjoys. Something so vile, so disgusting (but legal of course) it makes you gag, just do it for him.

< Message edited by VirginPotty -- 9/2/2009 12:30:23 PM >

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RE: What to try first?? - 9/2/2009 2:15:32 PM   
SexyCarrot


Posts: 38
Joined: 9/2/2009
Status: offline 		Anything involving produce... preferably a carrot!!!



< Message edited by SexyCarrot -- 9/2/2009 2:16:29 PM >

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RE: What to try first?? - 9/2/2009 10:19:34 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline
quote:

I am asking for suggestions on what to try first and/or second?


My suggestion is to research all that interests you.
Where can you perform that research? If you were a guy, I'd say any of the D/s-related photo archives are all you need (pictures being a thousand erotic words).

For females, who, IMHO seem to be more of the cerebral ilk, I'd recommend you gather ideas from the various scene-related D/s literary libraries.

Good luck. I'd love to train a newbie such as you ... so the third option is to find a local who is interested in exploring this sensual eroticism along with you.

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RE: What to try first?? - 9/3/2009 12:05:03 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: snowqueen99507

I am a beginner at this alternate lifestyle and a blank canves. And as such, I am asking for suggestions on what to try first and/or second? I got my first flogging the other day and allthough he was very gentle, when all was said and done it stung like a bitch. I felt much better when I was the one weilding the flogger on him.

Suggestions for the beginner?

'Beginner' soon passes


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