Etiquette with a sub/slave (Full Version)

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Dragonzaymaster -> Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 7:17:59 PM)

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon



RiotGirl -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 7:23:57 PM)

i would think the protocol would be to ignore it? A slave, especially one in service is there to serve, not to be acknowledged. i dont live with protocol and i rarely go out so i havent been able to observe other's. i know a sub/slaves protocol when delivering a drink lol. too bad you arent asking that.

i would think that maybe a simple thank you, or well done pet, or good girl/boy would be enough. Though i have never been prasied for using manners in my life, it is usually expected by others. (i would expect a Master/Mistress would generally expect manners from their s/s and neednt acknowledge it as it isnt even really a duty.



kyraofMists -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 7:24:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon


It depends on whether or not doing so would please my Lord. He says "Thank you" often, other times it is acknowledged with a look, caress, kiss, pinch, bite, smack... whatever pleases him in that moment. Then there are times that there is no mention of the task completed. I don't expect nor need to be rewarded for behaving or performing my tasks correctly.

Knight's kyra



jamesthehumanrug -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 7:27:23 PM)

GREETINGS ,drag-on-A
master,
...
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon

well;i am humbled;especially ,now;
i certainly am no-genius,but,
absolutely not,does a slave or sub expect ,to be praized,or acknowledged ,for serving a drink ,unless they always screw,up,then;ONCE;
do fine,
but, never,in my experience ,but,i ,maybe, wrong.
i hate,to say this but, i think it is low-class,to talk to the help, CERTAINLY YOU DONT BRAKE CONCENTRATION,OR COMPANY,if a waiter comes ,to YOUR table(AND YOURE SO LUCKY?) and, serves ;
you are talking!YOU ARE ,WITH SOMEONE! A PERSON ;PEOPLE! ,NOT A PLEBIAN SLAVE-SUB....
;you don't stop,to say
"THANKYOU"(you dont include the help,unless you wanna remember it with the meal?!)
DONT YOU SEE?!
PEOPLE STICK OUT ,TO ME ,
WHEN THEY SAY
"THANKYOU!" ,
to a g.d.busdriver,unless you are alone, on brake ,and, some limo-driver, or taxi guy pulls past a puddle ;
which they are supposed to do ANYWAY!
GAUD NO; STAY SILENT,
WITHIN YOUR REALM;if a woman talks to me as a chauffeur;i'd think she either has reason;i left her bags;or she can't relax,with me in the background,or is acknowledging me for some reason,or problem ,that i'm supposed,to notice,or ;she really knows me ,AND MY FRIENDS,and ,wants to" play " ,cause i'm a "slave"....,understand?!
DON'T CROSS THE BORDER ,TO THE FARM-FOLKS ,AND THANK THEM,OUT LOUD ,FOR THE BUTTER! cripes.....,
they churned it ,without you ;you don't need to thank them,for the process!
,if my top did that ;i'd think they were'nt used, to a slave,or
i'd write an article, on it like:" THE-former president ,THE- HONARABLE-,MR. -lindan baines johnson- ,visits the field ,AGAIN,with his dogs ....




KnightofMists -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 7:28:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon


It depends on whether or not doing so would please my Lord. He says "Thank you" often, other times it is acknowledged with a look, caress, kiss, pinch, bite, smack... whatever pleases him in that moment. Then there are times that there is no mention of the task completed. I don't expect nor need to be rewarded for behaving or performing my tasks correctly.

Knight's kyra


I would add that anytime my slaves recieve a thank you from anyone... They are required to respond with "my Pleasure". "your welcome" is something that they never say! it's a small thing, but big to me.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 7:43:57 PM)

It depends on his mood. Usually he does not acknowledge. Sometimes he nods. Sometimes he gives me a pat on the head. It is a joy for me to serve him - i should be the one thanking him!!



thetammyjo -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 7:45:59 PM)

I figure that being an owner does not excuse me from being polite or from acting like a human being so I usually make my orders a lot like requests or add some nicety to it.

"Would you set the table, boy?" OR "Time to set the table, foxboy."

I almost always say "good job" or "thank you" or make a comment about the quality of the job or service IF I notice it. Fact is that when someone knows you well enough to provide excellent service sometimes it happens without you being aware of it.

For instance I think it was last week and I was so absorbed into my writing that I didn't notice Fox had come up stairs at some point to check on me. But I felt thristy and I remembered I'd finished my water before I got absorbed in my past few paragraphs so I called to him to fetch me some water. He came up stairs just to see me staring at the desk at the full glass of water he'd placed there. I looked at him and said "I didn't notice you'd come up here." He smiled and made a slight bow and replied, "You weren't supposed to, Mistres."

Fox does tell me (when I ask) that my saying "thanks" or even better "good boy/slave/pet/Fox" really helps him feel great. On the other hand if he does something and I don't notice he won't mention it to me but just waits cause eventually I either notice it or the next time he does it I'll notice it or not. It doesn't change that our contract says he is to make my life easier but I think positives help that flow more easily.



IronBear -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 8:57:07 PM)

quote:



I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.


What I use from a Gorean Master’s perspective may well differ from our non Gorean Family but it what I use anyway.

Slave Collared to House Iron Bear or to Me Personally:

Formal Occasions ~

Address slave by name or girl or if mine then “Mine”.
When serving is finished, thank her simply unless she has gone above and beyond and then she may be praised if it pleases me to do so. (I have been known to even gift her with some thing like a slave bell to wear or a slave bracelet at such times also).

Informal Occasions ~

Far more relaxed and I’ll probably tease her and refer to her as my tartlett or slutlett or wench, trik or girl and when serving is finished have her kneel to my left where she can rest her head on my left thigh or even have her on my lay (assuming that she is not too heave for that. (Bad knees y’see). If it suits me she may be treated with a chocolate or two or even le laid across my knees naked so I can amuse myself toying with her bits-n-pieces. The point is it is very relaxed and informal and thus more likely to be quite intimate.

Sub/Slave Collared to People Not Members of House Iron Bear:


Address slave by name or girl.
When serving is finished, thank her simply unless she has gone above and beyond and then she may be praised if it pleases me to do so. Remembering that she is a reflection of her Dominant, I will probably tell her that she is a credit to her Dominant and has honoured his/her collar.

IMO, How you deal with sub/slaves and especially those not in your collar in a public forum is a direct reflection on you as a Dominant.

“You gotta play the game. It’s all in the game and how you play it!”



Elegant -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 9:14:41 PM)

This is a snippet from a workshop that Master Archer teaches called 'Are You Being Served':


  • Value service because it saves you the time and effort of doing it yourself.
  • Value any service for the decadent pleasure of being served and being served well.
  • Accept service with grace and appreciation


Accepting service with grace and appreciation is the 'Dance Of Good Service': If service is offered then appreciation should be returned. 'Please' and 'thank you' are the appropriate responses for service. Such responses in no way change the dynamic of who is serving whom.


A note to remember: People who are discourteous, inhospitable, insecure, rude, pushy, arrogant or nasty are playing power games in real life are usually insecure and possibly emotionally unstable, and more likely to behave abusively than responsibly if given the power to do so. Acting like a rude SOB isn't proof of dominance; it's proof that you have no manners and you are socially stunted.



skinnykitten -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 9:25:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

This is a snippet from a workshop that Master Archer teaches called 'Are You Being Served':


  • Value service because it saves you the time and effort of doing it yourself.
  • Value any service for the decadent pleasure of being served and being served well.
  • Accept service with grace and appreciation


Accepting service with grace and appreciation is the 'Dance Of Good Service': If service is offered then appreciation should be returned. 'Please' and 'thank you' are the appropriate responses for service. Such responses in no way change the dynamic of who is serving whom.


A note to remember: People who are discourteous, inhospitable, insecure, rude, pushy, arrogant or nasty are playing power games in real life are usually insecure and possibly emotionally unstable, and more likely to behave abusively than responsibly if given the power to do so. Acting like a rude SOB isn't proof of dominance; it's proof that you have no manners and you are socially stunted.




skinnykitten -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 9:42:00 PM)


sorry guys, first post [:)]


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

A note to remember: People who are discourteous, inhospitable, insecure, rude, pushy, arrogant or nasty are playing power games in real life are usually insecure and possibly emotionally unstable, and more likely to behave abusively than responsibly if given the power to do so. Acting like a rude SOB isn't proof of dominance; it's proof that you have no manners and you are socially stunted.




I totally agree with the above sentiment - I would add, also, that whilst it may not be necessary to always praise or go overboard acknowledgement-wise, graciousness and courtesy always look good on a person, whereas lack of grace and discourtesy rarely do, even within the bounds of a M/s or D/s relationship.



Evanesce -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 9:55:59 PM)

quote:

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.


I would actually feel uncomfortable if He were to thank me or otherwise make a big deal out of the things I do for Him on a daily basis. Yes, I want Him to acknowledge my contributions to His household, but it's not necessary every day, and I'd rather have His attention than His thanks.



slo18 -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 10:04:35 PM)

not sure what is proper but I know that haveing my actions accknowledged makes me want to please more. I dont expect it and its a plesant surprise when it is given



BitaTruble -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/25/2006 11:42:37 PM)

quote:

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way?


Himself is generous in spirit and thought and he generally does thank me for getting drinks or what have you. My response is usually along the lines of.. always a pleasure, Sir, can I get you anything else?

Celeste



Sunshine119 -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/26/2006 12:19:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon


I don't know much about formal protocols, but in our house, if do something he notices and appreciates, smiling at me or saying "good girl" is all i need to keep me properly motivated for the future. Then I walk away contemplating how much I love serving him. If I never received any acknowledgement of anything I did, I would wonder if he even noticed, and perhaps might even feel resentful and see how much I could get away with before he noticed.

An ounce of prevention (that smile or "good girl") is worth a pound of cure!




MistressSassy66 -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/26/2006 12:46:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon



I personally thank My slave bishop for doing a task correctly or punish if done wrong.
Same goes for the male submissives,they do it right they get a thank you...they do it wrong...lets just say its done right next time.
Sometimes its not a spoken thank you but a smile works so does a pat on the head.

I have to add...after thinking about it...I may not acknowledge it when I am busy,in which case they kneel/stand/sit until I'm not busy,or they may politely ask permission to speak Mistress...sometimes I say yes...sometimes its no.

I also require if verbally thanked they should be replying with its was no bother Mistress,or My pleasure,Your wish is my command...you get the picture.

A pat on the head, means they better be saying thank You Mistress.

Not everything works for everyone,find what works for you and go with it.




dincubus -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/26/2006 12:51:56 AM)

i would acknowledge my sub's performance in a mannerful way. it is just my personality i guess



nonuts4thshoney -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/26/2006 2:07:04 AM)

Master usually praises me the most after a good meal..LMAO!! i don't expect to be praised for little things such as good manners or peforming my duties around the home. If i do something above and beyond my normal daily activities i do like it when She aknowledges it. Usually She does. But manners are something i am expected to have. i'd look at master funny if She were to praise me for saying "Thank You" or "Can i get you another glass of water" LOL!!!

-carolyn



RavenMuse -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/26/2006 3:15:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster
I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.


Just because I am a Dom it doesn't mean I lack manners. That is part of me not just part of the D/s dynamic. If she brings me a drink then I usualy acknowledge it with a thanks of some kind, if I'm in converstaion with someone that might only be a nod in her direction but it is there.

Looking at it purely from a D/s perspective it works for me anyhow as I want her to feel good about her submission. Bringing me a drink isn't a big deal nor is my thanks, but it reinforces that even the small things are noticed and valued.



ScooterTrash -> RE: Etiquette with a sub/slave (2/26/2006 3:54:07 AM)

quote:

I would like to ask the community at large what thier opinions are concerning a Masters/mistress mannerism or protocol to a slave or sub when they fulfill their tasks? For an example if a drink is delivered to the Master/Mistress does he/she acknowledge the act in any way? I am asking about the normal everyday items, that most of our culture calls manners.
Dragon

No matter what the dynamic, manners are still in style. I rarely ask for something in a demanding tone, usually it is worded more as a request. Likewise when having a drink or whatever brought to me, if I notice I respond with a thank you or a nod if I'm busy. I agree with the majority of the responses, that if you feel you have to be rude or self-centered about being served, then you aren't showing dominance, you are showing arrogance.



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