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barelynangel -> RE: Seeking Advice for Punishment (9/3/2009 4:16:35 AM)
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I am flabbergasted by what some people are saying, since when does someone have a RIGHT to go through their Dom's stuff while he was not in the room and the person thinking he would never find out. To me, if there was nothing WRONG with going through his STUFF why not do it when he is right in front of her? This kind of thread shows me how many women will do anything to make the MAN the bad guy in issues caused in the relationship. For many it seems like a desperate need on these boards - to turn things around and somehow make the Man the bad guy or the one hiding something etc.
They have only been in a relationship for TWO months, something tells me they don't LIVE together and she decided to snoop through his stuff while he wasn't around. Yet, i can guarantee the same people whinging making this HIS fault lol cause he got irritated and pissed off she snuck around behind his back and then tried to keep it a secret from him, would say he had no right to go through HER stuff if the situation was reversed and she was his sub and he decided to riffle through her stuff when she wasn't around.
I think what he did was perfectly fine and it sorta fits the crime so to speak. He ignored her. She rifled through his stuff looking to know or find out something, she was curious and was looking for information. Instead for two weeks he withheld everything from her, information, stuff about him, things about him etc. Maybe next time, you will let HIM decide what he wants you to know about him or not attempt to take his privacy away from him and out of HIS control.
To me the OP's actions were a deliberate attempt to invade his privacy in a very untrusting way. Instead of being forthright and honest, she snuck around and tried to hide things. For people saying hey look at what HE did -- how about looking at what SHE did. I think what he did was very imgenius, she snuck around, didn't trust him and attempt to invade his privacy without his permission, so he took away all of her ability to know him and regarding him and of him for two weeks. Maybe next time she will learn to ASK or inquire instead of snoop and be sneaky.
OP, how do you fix this -- 1 is to realize what the fuck you did wrong and admit your own negative and deceitful ways. 2. Understand that you have violated his trust and his belief you will be upfront and honest with him. 3. There is no way to FIX what you did, you can only move on from here and perhaps in the future you won't be deceitful and dishonest, sneaky and attempt to invade his privacy and/or his space without his permission to do so. Instead of thinking he has IGNORED you for two weeks, perhaps take that lesson and start to see how much you value his choice to SHARE what he chooses to with you and as time goes on value what he adds to that as he shares more and more with you. In the future, make sure you respect his choices to share with you, you feel privileged that he has choosen to share with you what he does, and feel happy as his trust becomes more where he offers more of himself and his life and such to you.
You are NOT entitled to it, so see it as am offering from him when he shares himself with you. Respect when he chooses not to share with you, or if there is something you would LIKE to know -- allow the CHOICE to share it with you to be HIS, not yours in a sneaky underhanded way by ASKING or inquiring, instead of snooping when he isn't looking.
Yes i know some people will get their knickers in a twist over how dare i imply a sub or slave isn't entitled to things from him about himself etc. But sometimes, people go at their own pace --- especially Doms or Masters of subs and the sub isn't entitled to demand or decide when he shares things with her and/or slaves -- as to what they allow the slave to know OF them. Even outside of the M/s D/s concept, Men many times go at their own pace as to what they will share and WHEN. ITs not that they have something to hide, its just how they allow people in.
angel
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