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DePubed -> RE: Hello From Indiana (9/3/2009 6:59:23 PM)
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I know how you feel. For many years I struggled NOT to be submissive; I was ashamed that I would be submissive. I tried to dress and speak as a dominant in my daily life to try to hide my submissiveness. Once in awhile somebody would 'read' me and somehow know that my personality was actually submissive, and they often took delight in humiliating me at work, etc..
I eventually met someone who 'put me in my place' in a way that was strict but affectionate. Once I was made aware that it was "o.k." to be my submissive self, I began to explore how to be a happy submissive both in private and somewhat in public.
It is actually therapeutic to 'let go' and be your real self, but the fact remains that subs can only truly 'let go' with someone whom they have grown to know and to trust. Unfortunately, many self-proclaimed Dominants whom I initially met did not feel that way; instead they expected total, blind obedience right from the start. So I wish you the best, and I can tell that you are tired of resisting your submissive self. Just be careful that you dont submit to just anyone.
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