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stella41b -> RE: Online "Friends" (9/4/2009 6:37:37 PM)
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With regard to the OP yes I also find it strange.
My view of friendship was formed from my years of living in Poland and I have adopted the same attitudes towards friendships as people all over Eastern Europe. This is strongly rooted in my mindset and I refuse to change it or to go back to the way things were.
It's best explained by explaining the three Polish words for 'friend' which show my different levels of friendship.
First there's znajomy which basically means 'acquaintance'. The word 'znajomy' comes from the Polish verb 'znać' meaning to know (a person or place) and virtually anyone can strike up such a friendship with me - as long as there is some basic interaction and 'getting to know' each other. This can be over a few days, a few weeks, months or even years and almost all of those you find on my online friends here and elsewhere conform to this standard. These include people who have reached out to me from posts here or who I have reached out to them, we have corresponded, and there has been some interaction and as such, I don't have an issue about regarding such people as 'friends'.
Then there's kolega (male) and koleżanka (female) which means 'close friend' where there's some more depth to our interaction, and there's also a definite commitment to this sort of friendship. These are people I am open with about my thoughts, my feelings, my life, as they are with me, these are people I meet with, people who get priority, people I trust, basically it's the same as our traditional concept of 'friend'. Very few people get to be close friends and they are in the minority when it comes to online friends.
Then there's przyjaciel/przyjaciolka which to me means 'intimate friend' and which is basically what Eastern Europeans regard as that space between friendship and a committed relationship - but it's different from 'friends with benefits' and 'fuck buddy' - I would guess that an established play partner or secondary relationship would be closest. This is usually, but not always, one person with whom I am developing a relationship and we're at the stage where the terms 'friendship' and 'relationship' are largely interchangeable.
Being approached by someone out of the blue here (or on similar sites) looking for 'friendship' is what I assume to be a highly inappropriate attempt at the 'przyjaciel' type of friendship and I respond accordingly - I ignore.
The currency of my friendship is interaction. No interaction = no friendship. End of.
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