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MsMillgrove -> RE: How to Meet (9/5/2009 2:01:56 AM)
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I get a lot of mail that says basically, "I live near you. so you want to come over and spank my gorgeous butt?"
Very few letters on CM ask me decent questions about myself. What do I write or what kind of flowers am I talking to? and No one ever asks.. "what's your favorite book or what have you read lately?" Most writers are voracious readers. The query seems pretty obvious to me, but so far 1000 CM men have not asked me that easy question. I even added the photo of the rose to my profile as a hint for those writing and one person was smart enough to ask me, "did you grow that rose?" I wish he didn't live on the other side of the country. That guy can write a letter! One guy here.
Here's the top question: What do you want in a sub? oh god please. this makes me weep by now. I don't want "a sub". I want to get to know a person and see if that person and I would make a match. a real person. maybe you. not "a sub". Half the men here who identify as subs are infatuated with the "idea" of submission, they like to submit in play, when they are tied up. They describe this as being alpa male but very submissive behind closed doors. This is not the femdom idea of a submissive male. We want males who might be alpha out in the world, but is Always submissive to us, not just in the bedroom. I wrote a list of words that explains what traits I want. Chances are good that the man who is writing doesn't even understand my definition of a submissive male. I bet all the other dommes get the same mail. What do you want in a sub. and a description of the writer's kinks list always qualified by, "but of course it's Your Way." Who's kidding who here?
And that's really the key as suggested above. READ the profile, read the lady's past posts--a wealth of info about her. See where you do match in interests. Make a suggestion based on one of her interests, that's not pushy, just gentle. If they say they're a dining expert, and you are too, ask their opinon of a local restaurant. Few write the personal letter to me. They write introductions of themselves, how they got started in kink, what their mother was like, how long they've been divorced.
My profile says my turn on is laughter and my turn off is "all about me".
Nearly every mail is all about the guy writing the letter and I am seldom laughing when I finish it.
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