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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 7:14:09 PM

Aileen1968

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I like to struggle. I like to make sure he tied a good knot.
Plus I have a fucked up shoulder and if I sit to long without moving it starts to hurt.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 7:31:33 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

If there was such a thing as a femdom "wank material" thread, I will be honest, yeah, that's kind of what this is. So I apologize for using you, if any of you feel used having to answer this question. But underneath it, there is an interesting question there: Why DO you struggle?

When you are put into bondage that you know is inescapable, why do you struggle?
When she is about to gag you, and you know she will get her way, why do you turn your head and delay it that one split second?
When she orders you to do something, why do you say, "No," even though you know in about 2 seconds you will be doing it?
When she grips her hand in your hair, why do you twist your head away, when it's futile to resist?

It's fairly simple (and probably encompasses all the same shit that we {men} don't understand about chics).....

Testosterone...it makes us wiggle....itch....twitch....move funny....can't he'p it!

And by the way....we actually do understand everything about you all....but then you do all that perfume shit...and then that girl stuff (heels, short skirts....etc.)...you know you're fucking with our hayuds.....hair flicking.....red lips.....

(It's enough to keep a staff of lawyers on call....that's a fact).

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 7:41:55 PM

catize

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I'm usually not struggling when I do things like that. I am drinking in the full weight of my predicament by proving to myself how utterly possessed I am in that moment. I want to feel the cuffs or rope cut into my wrists. I want to feel all my energy not move my body one inch beyond where he wants it. I want to know that I now look only where he desires and the firey pain from the roots of my hair giving way is his passion for me and my undoing. I must turn away to know my mouth is his. I couldn't say no if I wanted to though, even if inside my own head I am screaming it, it just lets that power and control sink all the way to my soul. For me it's not about resistence. It is about being flooded and the dams within giving way.

Lovely description, pure poetry!

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 7:43:56 PM

pyroaquatic

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I struggle cause they like it.

^-^

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 9:39:30 PM

RealGirl4One

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Its all part of the dance, the decadence, the surrender
One cannot surrender without first struggling

The dance is the thing.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 9:45:54 PM

RealGirl4One

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It is, I think, a compliment to the one who tied the ropes

To test them and to struggle

Otherwise the gift of the bonds given by the Top

Seems to go unappreciated by the Bottom

The only true test of the bonds is a test of time

If we do not struggle no one will know

but no one will win and no one will lose

stalemate

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 10:36:33 PM

hermioneinchains

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I kind of resent the "struggling negates submission" posts. Come on - for you, maybe, struggling is not apart of it. But don't rain on everyone else's parade. There is no D/s Bible that states "thou shalt not struggle, for it is an abomination."

Personally, I am a huge fan of struggling. It makes me more submissive. When I'm allowed to struggle (and there is that necessary element, for me. I don't struggle without some basic permission), I really get to feel my bonds, or feel how much stronger my Master is than I am. My weakness - my helplessness and vulnerability - is never more apparent than when I've actually resisted, and failed utterly.

Not to mention struggling is like holding up a sign that says "Take me harder, please." How on earth is that not submissive?

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 10:39:34 PM

LPslittleclip

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strugling is not submitting i accept the bonds and only adjust position for circulation. when a hard stroke is applied it may cause my body to react.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 11:37:00 PM

catize

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There is nothing to resent. Every topic will have someone with opposing views or opinions. Sometimes posters will not add the qualifiers of ‘in my opinion’ but generally that is what they mean.
What any of us do, or how or why we do it is simply because hopefully it makes us happy. I understand all the reasons people, including you, like the struggle.
I ‘get’ it; I just don’t do it because it doesn’t work for me.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/4/2009 11:50:52 PM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Why DO you struggle?

When you are put into bondage that you know is inescapable, why do you struggle?
When she is about to gag you, and you know she will get her way, why do you turn your head and delay it that one split second?
When she orders you to do something, why do you say, "No," even though you know in about 2 seconds you will be doing it?
When she grips her hand in your hair, why do you twist your head away, when it's futile to resist?

I've never struggled against what Sir is doing. While He's tying me up I don't struggle, but I will test the bondage when He's finished because I like to know I'm helpless to get out of it & He likes to see that too. It's way more satisfying and fun when I'm certain I'm totally helpless against Him. When He puts the bit gag in my mouth, I'll tongue it like a horse would & move against it just a little trying without success to kiss Him, because I know He enjoys seeing that frustration. And not much gets my motor running like getting a handful of my hair yanked.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/5/2009 2:10:54 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

Well... like others have said... it's hot. Personally, I kind of think bondage become slightly redundant if there's no struggle. If you're just going to stay still, not move, not struggle... why be tied up? You could stay still, not move and not struggle without the use of bondage...

Also, mostly I have played with reaction tops before, so I know that, apart from turning me on, watching the struggle will also be turning them on. I think I would get quite bored with a Top or Domme who didn't like me to struggle. :S

As for the gag and hair-pulling... again, it's hot. It's verging on a little non-consensual fantasy, which I think can be very enjoyable. I like resistance play, even though I know I will end up wearing the gag, or performing XYZ task... it's sexy to resist... partly (or perhaps largely) because I *know* I will eventually be overpowered and broken down, which only emphasises my helplessness.

I found myself agreeing with everything you said.
When I Dominate I want a reaction submissive and when Stephen pins me down and ties me up he knows he's going to have to use his physical strength.
I recently did an interrogation scene with a reactive sub and his determination to not comply was so fucking hot that it brought out the best in me.... it was like flying. I then did an interrogation with un unresponsive sub and it was soooo 'yawn' boring and disappointing. I want the fight, the reactions to make it feel real.
Steve says the same about me. He says that he loves the way I cry, scream, beg and struggle because he enjoys the force he can put in to subdue me.

I will add to that, that my submission doesn't (like some people here) flow out of me like melted honey. Depending on the situation he may really have to fight me into submission and I love the way he can do that.
Looks like I have to pass on the medal for being a twue submissive

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/5/2009 3:08:16 AM

blmtrsne

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I don't play with my slave, but when needed (rarely) I will whip him (to enforce a new habitude f.i.). But then I need to make him feel it. It's not a game, I'm teaching him something he doen't seem to learn in another way. When he is really struggeling against the pain, then he's on the point he'll remember in a reflex not to do or to do something (or else...).

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/5/2009 4:25:45 AM

softness

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it is simple really ..

If you get off on say ... single tailing, do you just stand there just holding the single tail going "phwooar this is really horny" or do you actually play with it? Its the same in bondage. If I am bound and helpless I want to actively feel that helplessness ... so I struggle thus experiencing the helplessness.

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/5/2009 4:28:31 AM

VanIsleKnight

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Because it's fun. I get a nice little erotic thrill from it, my Mistress gets a nice little erotic thrill from it. *smiles*

I'm going to miss her. *grumbles*

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/5/2009 5:08:33 AM

TurboJugend

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I think struggling against beeing chained or against orders is part of human nature.......or perhaps...just because we can...

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/5/2009 8:10:35 AM

kiwisub12

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My worst struggles have been motionless - when my Sir has put me on the cross and told me not to move. Now THAT is sadistic!

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/5/2009 8:49:59 AM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YoursMistress

To me, it seems like a kite. A kite won't fly high against a slack string. The tautest string, pulling against a strong wind will make the kite fly highest. It's the resistance which intensifies the sensation of control.

YM..there are days I find you brilliant. May I quote you?

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/5/2009 9:46:58 AM

curiousheart

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Joined: 8/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hermioneinchains

I kind of resent the "struggling negates submission" posts. Come on - for you, maybe, struggling is not apart of it. But don't rain on everyone else's parade. There is no D/s Bible that states "thou shalt not struggle, for it is an abomination."

Personally, I am a huge fan of struggling. It makes me more submissive. When I'm allowed to struggle (and there is that necessary element, for me. I don't struggle without some basic permission), I really get to feel my bonds, or feel how much stronger my Master is than I am. My weakness - my helplessness and vulnerability - is never more apparent than when I've actually resisted, and failed utterly.

Not to mention struggling is like holding up a sign that says "Take me harder, please." How on earth is that not submissive?

I agree with you completely! I would say my ideal Domme would be a masochist in that they would desire to see that fear, resistance, reaction. And for me it elicits a deep sense of helplessness and greater intensity of submission.

I like the way RealGirl put it as being a 'dance', while perhaps at some level its roleplay, its not roleplay for self indulgence, it has its purpose of making me feel submissive, and giving my Domme pleasure, and that's what matters hey!

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/5/2009 10:48:07 AM

kdsub

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Because most of us are playing a game a role… Its not real life in most circumstances…I mean most women cannot physically control a male unless the male allows it. But what would be the fun in that…so we play like you are controlling us when in reality we are using you to appease our desires.

Now you are doing the same with us…there is very little true dominance in these situations. We are each filling our needs and using the other...and that is how it should be.

As Seinfeld would say…” Nothing wrong with that”

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RE: Question for subs? Why do you struggle? - 9/5/2009 1:30:56 PM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

When you are put into bondage that you know is inescapable, why do you struggle?

Ah, but if I don't struggle, how can I really be certain of my helplessness - not just intellectually, but down in the depths of my belly? How else will I be able to answer her look that says "No escape, boy" with one that replies, "I know"?

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
When she grips her hand in your hair, why do you twist your head away, when it's futile to resist?

That would be the animalistic part of my mind, the part that tries to maintain autonomy and control even when the odds are hopeless. It's the instinct that makes a rabbit kick and struggle in the very jaws of a wolf.

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