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[Poll]

Do you seperate BDSM from sex?


If you're gonna spank my ass; You damn well better be tapping it
  26% (17)
All that effort in planning this scene, damn straight I'm getting some
  15% (10)
torture for hours and sending me home with no gratification is great
  4% (3)
I dont need to get off, play time is plenty fun with out sex
  52% (33)


Total Votes : 63
(last vote on : 4/8/2011 3:56:12 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 8:40:18 AM   
trappedinamuseum


Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myself1168

Can you have BDSM with out sex?



Yes.

Do I want to?  No.


_____________________________

"You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside you soul.
Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to myself1168)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 9:00:59 AM   
fluffypet61


Posts: 28879
Joined: 12/25/2006
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		For me, a relationship would not separate of BDSM and SEX.
 
Casual BDSM play might or might not include SEX...And SEX might or might not include BDSM.

_____________________________

fluffy

"an exuberant example of libido continuing along regardless of age" - Kia

"Commandment Number One for any truly civilized society is this: Let people be different." -David Grayson


(in reply to trappedinamuseum)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 9:39:35 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		For me personally, when in a long-term, committed relationship with a sub, BDSM can include sex.  Sometimes there will be BDSM scenes with no sex.  However, if sex occurs, it is almost always within a D/s context.    I find vanilla sex boring.

My casual play never includes sex.   Personally, I just don't go there unless in a committed relationship with someone.  Over the last 16 years, I have had hundreds of very fun casual play sessions that did not include sex.

(in reply to fluffypet61)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do you separate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 11:55:42 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


I'm sorry to inform the male tops out there.  We female tops can be sexually stimulated and even orgasm right in the middle of a scene, without anyone ever knowing it.  Well, until it's time for after care and the boy has his head laid in My lap.  HA!



Dagnabbit!!  Another secret out!! 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 12:23:02 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline 		I am a non-power exchange switch/masosado.  I play for MY gratification, and if you (generic) happen to enjoy it - well, good for you, but honestly I could care less whether you get yours or not.  It's my decision, what you want in that area means less than nothing to me, and crossing whatever lines I set prior to the start of the play session is a quick means of assisted suicide when I go completely psychotic on your ass.  It starts when I want it to start, it ends when I want it to end, it does not go past the intensity that I want it to have, there is sex or not based strictly on whether I want it.  Anyone who can't deal with it being that way (like the various people who are into this for Control & consider that the most important aspect of things) I simply don't bother to play with.

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Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 12:31:39 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

Can you have BDSM with out sex?


Yes..happens quite often..probably more often than not actually. It may be sexual in nature but the physical act of sex doesn't have to be involved.

He can torment and make me wet just from looking at me.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 9/5/2009 12:37:13 PM >

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 4:05:31 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Ya could.....but why the fuck would you?

_____________________________



(in reply to myself1168)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 4:09:17 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Yes. In fact most of my bdsm play has been with out sex, and it certainly was when I had a vanilla bf who agreed I could do bdsm with out him as long as no sex was involved.

quote:

ORIGINAL: myself1168

Ok so here's the basics of the poll.....NO... I said poll not my pole!

There are going to be answers relevant to Dom, or sub....no I didn not leave out Owners and slaves I've simply lumped them together. For switches or alpha subs you can select all relevant answers.

Can you have BDSM with out sex?


(in reply to myself1168)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 6:44:17 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trappedinamuseum

quote:

ORIGINAL: myself1168

Can you have BDSM with out sex?



Yes.

Do I want to?  No.


I'm with trapped here. 

Daddy and I have BDSM components in all our sexcapades.  When we play at the club, we don't have sex there, though we could.  We usually wait until we get home, or He does something to me on the way home.  *hehehe*  If we are playing privately, damn skippy we will be gettin' busy after.

I love power exchange everything with Daddy, even the sex part.

When I have had sub girls of my own, most of our playtime included some time of "shangrila" time at the end of it all.

So, I may be jaded here, or just oversexed, or a hussy.

I'm ok with any of those options. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to trappedinamuseum)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 7:03:57 PM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Absolutely I can.  I don't have sex with My casual play partners in a top/bottom scenario


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

For me it all depends on the energy with the particular person. I am VERY picky about who touches me. Especially in a sexual way. I am much less picky about whom I torture. In fact, the less attracted to them I am, the more sadistic I can be.


exactly what they said !


_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 8:49:12 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Ya could.....but why the fuck would you?


Because the deeply awesome masochist you are playing with is a fat old guy that does not appeal to you sexually!

(not dissing old fat guys, just using an example)

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 9:49:36 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		I can & have had BDSM without sex & it was perfectly fine.  Within my relationship with His Evilness it is always both.  I may or may not be allowed to orgasm & he may or may not orgasm.  With his lovely wife, it is always about sex, never any other aspect of BDSM, except watching what he does to me.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/5/2009 11:25:12 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		I'm always submissive to Him when we're having sex so I guess the answer is no, I don't separate it.

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/6/2009 1:25:19 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		For casual play? Yes, they are separate. While all play is sexual for me, physical sex will not happen if I am bottoming to a Top that I don't have both an emotional connection and mutual physical chemistry with, and most often not even then.

Within a relationship, it is a different story. I don't separate BDSM from sex with my chosen partner, but the choice of activities is completely up to him.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/6/2009 3:44:16 AM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline 		BDSM is very sexually charged, for me.  I don't have sex every time I do something BDSM-oriented.  But I guess if it's working for me in BDSM, it's working for me sexually.
 



"...it's something like abandoning a past self, or like another person inside you has died...
From the death of the other one within myself, I obtain freedom."
 
- HYDE
From R & R Newsmaker magazine, Nov 2004
Translation by Lady Chris
 

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do you seperate BDSM from sex? - 9/6/2009 4:57:52 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Ya could.....but why the fuck would you?


Because the deeply awesome masochist you are playing with is a fat old guy that does not appeal to you sexually!

(not dissing old fat guys, just using an example)


Thus the reason why I could never do casual play with someone I wasn't sexually attracted to.
Actually, I could never do casual play at all.

_____________________________



(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 36
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