quote:

ORIGINAL: Joseff

It sounds like a bad experiance has given you a little post traumatic stress. This might ease with time, but you may want to consider professional counciling. Although you will get advice here, understand that most of us are not qualified to help you.. I'm sure you can learn to trust again, but it is going to take some time. Your partner ignored your safeword, and that is never acceptable. Do not assume that this is because you did something wrong, no matter how extreme the things you enjoyed were, there is always a limit, a point when it becomes too much. You were taken past that limit, against your consent. It is understandable that you have problems after an event like that. Give yourself the time and resources to heal. Your case can serve as a caution to others, reminding us of the potential danger in what we do, the more extreme the play, the more potential for damage when it all goes wrong.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchyBabe

I had a relationship with a dom who was really into hardcore things. We kept going up higher and higher and higher up the scale of crazy. Blood Play, severe caning so bad I had bruises for a few months, etc... I was enjoying it, but then it got to a point where he wrapped me up in saran wrap and used this huge unforgiving toy on my bum and it caused me to bleed... everywhere... I asked him to stop but he didn't and I ended up using my safe word a few couple thousand times before he really cut it out. Now I'm afraid to trust ANYONE to restrain me, when I use to love giving power over and being whipped and caned... I just don't like the pain anymore. Recently I was spanked and I could barely take it. I can't be pushed into that situation without being turned off midway and feeling like a bad slave because I can't preform how I use to, and how long I use to.

Please help...

something isn't adding up here. you describe the acts as crazy, yet you willingly engaged in them. even suffering bruises for several months, yet this was perfectly acceptable to you. you've admitted that you were aware of his interests and elected to get involved with him anyway. which lead to the inevitable progression of acts which is commonplace when trust between two parties expand.

now in all situations there are two sides of a story and the truth. i would think in some measure if this aspect of play was as crazy as you've conveyed you'd have stopped participating long before the incident you've described took place. you spoke of resorting to your safe word, which gives an implication that it wasn't used before. please correct me if i'm wrong.

it would seem based on what you're stating that you were moving towards a direction that had a different dynamic and style of play. yet you present the details as if you were carried away by some current and shared an incident where the safe word wasn't respected. which is to say that these things don't usually happen overnight. it is a marked progression and things intensify sharply. i would be shocked if there was no discussion about relinquishing your safe word or how it would be utilized. but stranger things have occurred.

which leads me to the following questions...

have you asked him to stop in the past, or was that an isolated experience? if so, what was his response?
did he ever indicate why he didn't stop when you protested? have you taken any responsibility for this situation or merely placed the blame in his lap instead?

it really takes two to tangle. if you're playing in this manner the risks are much greater. which isn't to say i condone exploitation, but i recognize the term can be skewed when things get 'out of hand' which doesn't necessarily mean someone was taken advantage of. it is called edge play for a reason.

porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchyBabe

I had a relationship with a dom who was really into hardcore things. We kept going up higher and higher and higher up the scale of crazy. Blood Play, severe caning so bad I had bruises for a few months, etc... I was enjoying it, but then it got to a point where he wrapped me up in saran wrap and used this huge unforgiving toy on my bum and it caused me to bleed... everywhere... I asked him to stop but he didn't and I ended up using my safe word a few couple thousand times before he really cut it out. Now I'm afraid to trust ANYONE to restrain me, when I use to love giving power over and being whipped and caned... I just don't like the pain anymore. Recently I was spanked and I could barely take it. I can't be pushed into that situation without being turned off midway and feeling like a bad slave because I can't preform how I use to, and how long I use to.

Please help...