|
Termyn8or -> Life chanfe ? NO SHIT ! (9/7/2009 11:09:51 PM)
|
I have alwys enjoyed my solitude, and loudness as well as peace and quiet. I am not your average customer, I had plenty of loud stereos, but I also wore headphones that put out 128Db right into my ears. The speakers were just to shake the floor. You can't get much better sound than that.
I have almost always lived alone. Yes there have been a few shackups, this and that, other things. But really I have been happy living alone, everyone is gone at the end of the night. But things have changed. First of all I am finally recovering from what has been ailing me for the past few months. I need to get strong again. Remember I don't like to show weakness.
I have taken on roommates, a couple and they have been here for a couple of weeks. There is another to come, and a few things have to be figured out about how to accomodate him, but I got time to figure that out. I am slightly at odds with my family over this. They don't understand. For one, these people are extremely helpful. They are also friends and I can trust them. Every one of us belongs in jail, but the jails are full, and together we are sort of wintering the storm, getting by. I am feeling better and living and eating better, and I have not really ever lived in this type of environment before. I always had my own, and in a way I still do, but not wanting to pull the rug out from under people's feet, it become somewhat of a commitment.
I have stayed with other people in the past, and some of it while the worst of times, was the best of times. I frequently fell asleep to music, and that is a whole nother subject. Todat she had to get drunk because he was going to continue a tatoo project. Everything was going fine, but I could see an argument coming up as something did not come out quite perfect. I still am the master and I told her to shut up. Not because she was wrong, but because he can be a very dangerous Man. This is logical. Just STOP, regroup, figure out what you atre saying, he is not unreasonable with. So thus goes an excerise in psychology, which is fine with me.
And as far as him being dangerous, hell so am I. When I told my own Mother, "You disapprove, fine, you want to live your life like a hermit and never have anyone come over, that is fine. It is your perogative, it is your life, but it is not mine. It is strange, these people are polite and helpful, try to pull their weight and all that, but that is not enought really. The thing is, as much as I anjoy studying and and all that, and online shit, somehow nothinhg replaces sitting around the kitchen table with someone else smoking breakfast before work. Thing is, it is different to me if nothing else.
Beside helping out, these people are witnessing my recovery. I am feel ing better. While a few weeks ago I could barely walk today I carried my table saw up the basement stairs by myself. Next might come actuall working out. I might start with those little ten pounders. Actually you can (I did in the past) work out effectively with those. You just shadow box with them in your hands. Then when you go to make moves without the added ten pounds it's like a breeze. I know what I am talking about when it comes to working out. Bring your weights over and I will turn you into a near indestructable suprehuman. Imagine the force required to propel a 210 lb body twenty feet airborne. I could withstand that, and I actually ran back (this was sparring) and said "Do it again".
We never worked out to get well defined, muscular shaped all this shit, we worked out for strength and flexibility, as well as agility. A black belt meant nothing to us. We learned alot over those years, among those things is not to feel anger. When the situation comes up "Stop it you are going to kill the motherfucker !". We started to realize how different we were at those times. Actually at the time I would've wished to be dead instead of the physical condition I am in now. But there is hope, all I need is weights. And I don't mean those sissy thigns on those machines, I mean free weights. You want to see how to do a pushup ? Get me two tires.
I am serious, the way I used to do this was engineered in a way to be as fucking hard as possible. Your feet go on a chair or whatever, your hands go on two uninflated tires without rims. When you go down you go as far as you can, DOWN. STRETCH as well as work those muscles. On top of the you have to hold you balance on all axes lest the tires flip down and you fall flat on your face. Every exercise we did was enhanced in some way like that. It's not good enough to just put that weight over your head, you must also hold you arms paralell. And then there were the behind the back workouts. I could knock you out if you were behind me, without turning around !. This is no bullshit.
Those days are over, but it is still nice to be in good shape and now that I am feeling better I am going to peruse it. I will start with those little ten pound weights and if anyone wants to fuck with me over it calling me little girl or something I'll show them another weight, my .38. No problem.
My recent decisions have caused a rend in the fabric of my blood family, which is bound to increase my burden, but at this point I say 'Bring it on'. I shall live life on my terms and I kinda like this. It's not so bad. As long as everybody respects one another this should be fine, and what people think, well, fukum.
Now it is about time to throw up another playlist of hillbilly songs and crash. Gotta work. If I am to remain king of the hill I must. But I think all in all this is a good thing..
Sorry bout typos, didn't proof. Time for next platlist.
T
|
|
|
|
