AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid



Message


hizgeorgiapeach -> AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 12:38:25 PM)

It's been a couple of weeks since my idiot brother called, asking me to help him get his car fixed cause "his bills are too high."  Told him no on that one, he calls back a couple of days later, asking me to get his truck insured under my name, and to get the tag done (which is due Now), again because he "can't afford to do so" - this time supposedly because of the cost of paying for the repairs to the vehical.
 
So I tell him I'll think about it - that it's going to depend on whether there's money left after all of my bills are paid and everything done for the month that needed financing - and drag my feet about actually looking to see what it would cost.  (Yes, I intended to simply put it off and then tell him I couldn't afford to help, but that's beside the point.)
 
So over the past 4 days, he's called me 7 times, to see whether I had "finished' getting the insurance and tag for his truck.  (No, I still hadn't, and made excuses.)  Only this time, while he's on the phone with me, I make the "suggestion" that he go ahead and get the insurance himself - because (supposedly) I'm having difficulties getting it as a completely seperate policy from what is on My car.  At which point, he informs me that he wants me to get the insurance because he Can't - no one will insure him at this point - his driver's licence has been suspended until Next April, due to the crap back in February when he managed to get the Harley stolen!
 
I'm...... beyond flabergasted at this point.  I'm to fed up to be angry - this is simply par for the course for him.  I'm just - Fed Up.  I have to wonder if he's ever going to grow up and learn that it does him no good to call expecting me to clean up the messes he makes for himself.
 
He spent the first 41 years of his life expecting our grandparents to bail him out of every jam he created for himself - and our grandmother the bat always obliged.  She obliged right into bancruptcy.  Then he conned dad into picking up where the bat left off, after mom died and dad was at his most vulnerable emotionally.  He kept it up, in fact, until after dad's stroke, when I suddenly had all the responcibility dumped in my lap, and it was then strictly My decision as to whether he got helped out or not.  In the 3 years since dad's stroke, he's consistantly ignored the rest of the family except when he showed up to whine for money.  He didn't bother to visit dad, while dad was in the nursing home, except when he wanted money - figuring that if he whined to dad, dad would harass me about it, and I'd give it to him to shut dad up.  (Bzzzzz wrong answer - dad would call and harass and tell me to give him money, I'd assure dad I would do so, and then promptly ignore the request as soon as I hung up the phone.) 
 
The 2 times this year - since I moved dad home with me - that my brother has bothered to either show up or call - what has been his reason?  Oh Yeah - He Wanted Money.  Money to get his truck out of impound, money to pay the fines he incurred getting the truck put into impound, money and a front for insurance over How he got his truck into impound.  He'll be 44 in February.  He's older than I am - though rather obviously less mature.  When is he gonna suck it up, quit trying to scam his Family, and quit thinking that he should be able to do what he wants with impunity - even if it's blatantly illegal???
 
(On the bright side - dad heard me arguing with the idiot on the fone, and asked who it was, and what it was about.  So I explained it to him.  And told him bluntly that I would NOT be getting insurance on the idiot's truck, I would NOT be getting the tag renewed, and if the idiot gets arrested and thrown in jail for driving under suspension (Again - which will be like the 3rd time he's gotten caught driving under suspension) then he will Rot there, because I will NOT be going to bail his ass out, nor will I be returning the truck after I get it out of impound - I'll sell it to cover the cost of getting it out.)




BKSir -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 12:46:57 PM)

Just need to explain to him that you aren't grandma, you're not mommy, you're certainly not his nanny, and it's time for him to put on his big girl panties and grow up.  And I'm thinking it will take something about that blunt to get it through his skull.

By the way, I LOVE your sig line LOL




KYsissy -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 12:47:23 PM)

Ugh what a mess.  Sometimes the hardest thing to do for someone is  . . . nothing.






Wolf2Bear -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 12:48:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

(On the bright side - dad heard me arguing with the idiot on the fone, and asked who it was, and what it was about.  So I explained it to him.  And told him bluntly that I would NOT be getting insurance on the idiot's truck, I would NOT be getting the tag renewed, and if the idiot gets arrested and thrown in jail for driving under suspension (Again - which will be like the 3rd time he's gotten caught driving under suspension) then he will Rot there, because I will NOT be going to bail his ass out, nor will I be returning the truck after I get it out of impound - I'll sell it to cover the cost of getting it out.)


*grinz*

We both know that he will never "grow up" and as you've said, the only time he contacts you is to bail him out of a bad situation HE got himself into. If he hasn't learned by now that he needs to take personal responsibility then he has to suffer the consequences of his own actions. You have more than enough on your own plate without taking on the irresponsibility of another, family or not. Sending mega bear hugzzz your way and you know how to contact me when you need to vent more!

~Bear~




LaTigresse -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 12:50:03 PM)

It sounds like the boy/man has been far too enabled all his life. Do not continue the cycle. Let him fall on his face.




barelynangel -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 12:55:16 PM)

DO NOT get anything with regard to this in your name or associated with your name do not renew anythig for him! I work in ins defense in law and you could be named in any lawsuit if he gets in an accident and you be found to be just liable for giving him means to drive -- i.e., making his car legal or taking it in your name and allowing him to then drive it even the concept of him driving it and he shouldn't be driving and you know it.

This is one of the worst things you could do for YOURSELF due to is already proving he is irresponsible while driving.

If you need something to say no to him use this. Because i have seen people want to "help" their loved ones and either buy them cars, pay or get insurance on the car etc to help that person make their car legal, and they end up screwed in lawsuits because they are also named and in the end, because the person was irresponsible, the paying of the damages usually comes down on the person who tried to be responsible by helping.

Also you could lose your insurance or the insurance company could refuse to cover any incident IF something did happen if you knowingly allowed him to drive the car and you knew he had a suspended licence.

angel




stella41b -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 12:59:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

When is he gonna suck it up, quit trying to scam his Family, and quit thinking that he should be able to do what he wants with impunity - even if it's blatantly illegal???



Basically when he's left on his own and life smacks him hard in the face a few times.

Can't remember who said it but someone once said that 'the street corner is one of the best and most effective schools there is' or something to that effect.

Might seem hard but I'd send him off to Street Corner Academy knowing that when he finally graduates you'll be able to have a better relationship with him.




BKSir -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 1:03:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b


quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

When is he gonna suck it up, quit trying to scam his Family, and quit thinking that he should be able to do what he wants with impunity - even if it's blatantly illegal???



Basically when he's left on his own and life smacks him hard in the face a few times.

Can't remember who said it but someone once said that 'the street corner is one of the best and most effective schools there is' or something to that effect.

Might seem hard but I'd send him off to Street Corner Academy knowing that when he finally graduates you'll be able to have a better relationship with him.



Ah yes, the school of hard knocks.  I think a lot of people around here have their Masters or PhD from there. ;)
The one that I recall is "They say experience is the best teacher.  For what it costs, it damn well better be."




KYsissy -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 1:20:45 PM)

quote:

nor will I be returning the truck after I get it out of impound - I'll sell it to cover the cost of getting it out.)


I wouldn't even get it out of impound.  I would do nothing for this guy.  If he's still making payments, let the police and the bank hash it out. I don't think you could sell it anyway unless your name is on the title.  If it is your name, do what you gotta do to protect yourself. I wouldn't put my name on any piece of paper with this guy.




KYsissy -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 1:22:57 PM)

quote:

the paying of the damages usually comes down on the person who tried to be responsible by helping.


It will come down to who has any money, and it's never the irresponsible a-holes.




pahunkboy -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 1:51:37 PM)

Easy fix.

I hereby give you permission to take the ins and tag money and go to the casino.   !!  (or lotto tickets)

You are required to have a great time and spend your money on other shtt.




BriteBlond -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 2:38:10 PM)

Everyone has got to learn to make responsible judgements for themselves, preferably sooner rather than later.
Also what is the point of throwing good money after bad?

What is the point of bailing someone out of a jam if they are simply going to get themselves into another one and then come begging to you for yet more help?

It sounds as though bailing him out, won't do you or him any good.
So where's the mileage in it?




hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 2:43:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KYsissy

quote:

nor will I be returning the truck after I get it out of impound - I'll sell it to cover the cost of getting it out.)


I wouldn't even get it out of impound.  I would do nothing for this guy.  If he's still making payments, let the police and the bank hash it out. I don't think you could sell it anyway unless your name is on the title.  If it is your name, do what you gotta do to protect yourself. I wouldn't put my name on any piece of paper with this guy.



It's titled in the name of my dad's Trust - and I'm the Trustee.  One of my authorities/rights/responcibilities as Trustee is the disposition of all property owned in the name of the trust - buying new property, selling old/worn out property, selling property to use the funds to pay my dad's various bills, etc.  I'm technically the only one who IS legally able to sell that thing.  For some reason, my brother is fool enough to think that I should be Happy to endanger myself, and our dad, for his convenience.  He's WRONG - I'm not willing to do so - but he isn't quite intelligent enough to figure out that I have zero interest in what He wants.
 
Barely - the whole potentially ruining my Own ability to get insurance crossed my mind - which was why I never planned on doing so, and simply told him that it would depend on finances to put him off.  I already know that if he screwed up and hit someone Else's car (like he did a parked car on the night the damn thing got impounded Last time) he would stick me with the bill and the fall out.  A couple of years ago - he attempted to shoot me (missed obviously - and then attmepted to pass it off as a "cleaning accident" - I shoulda pressed charges) and the bullet went Through my wall, and into the neighbor's house.  He promised her directly that he would pay to have the damage to Her house repaired.  A year later, after I'd had him evicted from the family home, I got approached by the neighbor harassing me - as the Trustee of the trust that owns the property - to pay for the damages, since he hadn't done so, claiming the whole time that his bills were to high to be able to afford it.  (He had her convinced he was paying an exorbitant amount in Rent on this place - he wasn't paying rent at all, and had never been asked to do so - on top of having to pay all the utilities, which were still coming out of my dad's checking account, since the accounts were 3 decades old and on autopay for years and years, and which I had terminated when he refused to pay them - and pay on student loans which he has never sent in a single payment on, but has tried to threaten/harass me into paying for him with our dad's money!)




pahunkboy -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 2:53:34 PM)

peach, I think you need to cut your losses.   No matter what you DO-- you are the bad guy.  So- knowing this- be bad as of THIS VERY MINUTE.

Stop taking his calls.   "it is not my problem".   "look- I have things to do".    or a simple "get lost".

No matter how much you do- it will never be enough.   So cut your losses now.




IrishMist -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 3:05:33 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

(On the bright side - dad heard me arguing with the idiot on the fone, and asked who it was, and what it was about.  So I explained it to him.  And told him bluntly that I would NOT be getting insurance on the idiot's truck, I would NOT be getting the tag renewed, and if the idiot gets arrested and thrown in jail for driving under suspension (Again - which will be like the 3rd time he's gotten caught driving under suspension) then he will Rot there, because I will NOT be going to bail his ass out, nor will I be returning the truck after I get it out of impound - I'll sell it to cover the cost of getting it out.)


*grinz*

We both know that he will never "grow up" and as you've said, the only time he contacts you is to bail him out of a bad situation HE got himself into. If he hasn't learned by now that he needs to take personal responsibility then he has to suffer the consequences of his own actions. You have more than enough on your own plate without taking on the irresponsibility of another, family or not. Sending mega bear hugzzz your way and you know how to contact me when you need to vent more!

~Bear~


Have to agree with what was said here.

(((((RHI))))

I wish there was more that I could do besides give worthless hugs to help [:o][&o]




angelikaJ -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 3:09:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

It's been a couple of weeks since my idiot brother called, asking me to help him get his car fixed cause "his bills are too high."  Told him no on that one, he calls back a couple of days later, asking me to get his truck insured under my name, and to get the tag done (which is due Now), again because he "can't afford to do so" - this time supposedly because of the cost of paying for the repairs to the vehical.
 
So I tell him I'll think about it - that it's going to depend on whether there's money left after all of my bills are paid and everything done for the month that needed financing - and drag my feet about actually looking to see what it would cost.  (Yes, I intended to simply put it off and then tell him I couldn't afford to help, but that's beside the point.)
 
So over the past 4 days, he's called me 7 times, to see whether I had "finished' getting the insurance and tag for his truck.  (No, I still hadn't, and made excuses.)  Only this time, while he's on the phone with me, I make the "suggestion" that he go ahead and get the insurance himself - because (supposedly) I'm having difficulties getting it as a completely seperate policy from what is on My car.  At which point, he informs me that he wants me to get the insurance because he Can't - no one will insure him at this point - his driver's licence has been suspended until Next April, due to the crap back in February when he managed to get the Harley stolen!
 
I think the fact that he lied to you is a good reason to void your offer to help.
The insurance will not do him any good anyway as he does not have a license.

 
I'm...... beyond flabergasted at this point.  I'm to fed up to be angry - this is simply par for the course for him.  I'm just - Fed Up.  I have to wonder if he's ever going to grow up and learn that it does him no good to call expecting me to clean up the messes he makes for himself.
 
He will never grow up as long as someone is willing to bail him out.

 
He spent the first 41 years of his life expecting our grandparents to bail him out of every jam he created for himself - and our grandmother the bat always obliged.  She obliged right into bancruptcy.  Then he conned dad into picking up where the bat left off, after mom died and dad was at his most vulnerable emotionally.  He kept it up, in fact, until after dad's stroke, when I suddenly had all the responcibility dumped in my lap, and it was then strictly My decision as to whether he got helped out or not.  In the 3 years since dad's stroke, he's consistantly ignored the rest of the family except when he showed up to whine for money.  He didn't bother to visit dad, while dad was in the nursing home, except when he wanted money - figuring that if he whined to dad, dad would harass me about it, and I'd give it to him to shut dad up.  (Bzzzzz wrong answer - dad would call and harass and tell me to give him money, I'd assure dad I would do so, and then promptly ignore the request as soon as I hung up the phone.) 
 
The 2 times this year - since I moved dad home with me - that my brother has bothered to either show up or call - what has been his reason?  Oh Yeah - He Wanted Money.  Money to get his truck out of impound, money to pay the fines he incurred getting the truck put into impound, money and a front for insurance over How he got his truck into impound.  He'll be 44 in February.  He's older than I am - though rather obviously less mature.  When is he gonna suck it up, quit trying to scam his Family, and quit thinking that he should be able to do what he wants with impunity - even if it's blatantly illegal???
 
(On the bright side - dad heard me arguing with the idiot on the fone, and asked who it was, and what it was about.  So I explained it to him.  And told him bluntly that I would NOT be getting insurance on the idiot's truck, I would NOT be getting the tag renewed, and if the idiot gets arrested and thrown in jail for driving under suspension (Again - which will be like the 3rd time he's gotten caught driving under suspension) then he will Rot there, because I will NOT be going to bail his ass out, nor will I be returning the truck after I get it out of impound - I'll sell it to cover the cost of getting it out.)
 
Sounds like a plan.



Your brother has no forsight because he never needed it.
IF there are never any consequences, he will never learn how the real world works.
Right now, he is operating on the assumption that the world does in fact revolve around him.
He is angry at you because you won't give in.
It is now your fault you see.
When he doesn't get his way, he whines.

The best thing you could do for him is to say no.

Never mind the things he has done that directly impacted you: the money, the lies, the posessions.

He is trying to scam you because so far, it has worked.
Aren't your arms tired of carrying his crap?




barelynangel -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 3:17:37 PM)

Please do not shorten my name arbitrarily to barely -- its angel or barelynangel thank you.

I was just advising you of LEGAL ramifications you could have and sometimes due to punitive damages IF he seriously hurts someone because you knowingly allow him to drive a car that doesn't belong solely to him, you could end up paying anywhere from a couple thousand to hundreds of thousands if its found you allowed negligently for him to drive the car especially if its found out you willingly got insurance and tags so he could drive a legal car. I have seen it happen. WHy play a game with him and pussy foot around giving him excuses or allowing time to lapse, simply tell him no. IF that truck is in the name of a trust, you would be wise to NOT ALLOW HIM TO DRIVE IT AT ALL, especially if he has a habit of accidents or irresponsible driving.

Unfortunately, people are out to get the money and if they find out that the truck is associated as part of a trust, you are placing your father's welfare and your own in major jeopardy.

If i were you, i would sit down with your dad and a lawyer and put some protections for the trust in there or take the truck out of the trust if he will be the one driving same if you choose not to sell it.

angel




MistressCamille -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 3:28:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

peach, I think you need to cut your losses.   No matter what you DO-- you are the bad guy.  So- knowing this- be bad as of THIS VERY MINUTE.

Stop taking his calls.   "it is not my problem".   "look- I have things to do".    or a simple "get lost".

No matter how much you do- it will never be enough.   So cut your losses now.



Great advice but take it one step further. Change the phone number and don't give it to him. The only way for him to grow up is to rely on himself. He tried to kill you!

Get a court order so he can't come near you or  the family. He will either learn to be a grown up or end up in jail. That is his choice, not yours.




loverly -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 3:31:04 PM)

is he on drugs??? i would just not answer the phone really.. elliminate the Drama.. sorry to hear about the s**t happening to an apparently nice person. ( who is responsiable!)

hang in there.. maybe if you ignore him he will ... go away! like a bad dream! :-)




ShaharThorne -> RE: AAARRRRGGGG - gotta rant or I'm gonna explode (9/8/2009 4:15:42 PM)

You got more important things to think on, like infusing honeysuckle scent into the body cream and patenting it. Your brother is never going to grow up and the sooner he realises that you are not the family enabler, the sooner you get on the formula. Besides, I wanna get the honeysuckle body cream from you...[;)]




Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.0625