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RE: being alone... - 9/10/2009 4:26:30 PM

Wolf2Bear

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Too often when a person states they are afraid to be alone it's because they have never learned to be alone. That includes building a good social network of friends, spending free time pursuing a hobby or even volunteering somewhere. For most of us, we may say we are afraid to be alone though it's more accurate to state we hate being alone.

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RE: being alone... - 9/10/2009 4:57:40 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jeninvegas

I mean, it's not to the point where my life is in ruins and lose all my friends/family or anything like that. I just don't want it to get to that level. I feel weak and can't stand on my own without someone always beside me. That is unrealistic and unreasonable. I am just seeking advice on how I can overcome this weakness...

you need to literally get a life and stop basing your happiness on having someone beside you. i have never met anyone with that mindset that has been able to maintain a successful non codependent relationship that was empowering and not an anchored hoisted around their neck. i'd like to think a person would prefer someone in their life that was capable to stand upon their own two feet and didn't wish for or require a prop to keep them going. what happens when he needs to lean? do you topple over?

there's the other side of this and that is you truly attract to yourself what you emanate. which leaves you to chew on the following question. would you date you?

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RE: being alone... - 9/10/2009 5:09:07 PM

kiwisub12

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After my divorce i spent 10 years by my self, caring for the kids and working. I was alone and had the opposite problem of the OP. I was afraid NOT to be alone - and therapy was what helped me.

I had lots of hobbies and pets - and neither enabled me to break out of my fear of relationships. Obviously i am pro-therapy - if there is a significant degree of impairment with daily living and contentment/happiness. Only the OP can know how much of a problem her feelings really are.

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RE: being alone... - 9/10/2009 5:49:39 PM

littlewonder

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Sorry but I know lots of women and a few men who have her fear and were all diagnosed with mental problems. The only thing that helped each and every one of them is therapy. That does not mean you don't take responsibility as well but a therapist can help you to get a better grasp on that responsibility. That also doesn't mean you can't get a life. A therapist will help you to connect with other groups, organizations, volunteer work, charity, hobbies, etc...so that you can deal better with being out in the big bad world without being in a relationship and without your partner.

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RE: being alone... - 9/10/2009 11:07:29 PM

stella41b

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Why bother making friends then if all you have to do is go see a therapist who makes it all easier for you?

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