RE: Has BDSM become "soft"?

RE: Has BDSM become "soft"? (Full Version)

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lovingpet -> RE: Has BDSM become "soft"? (9/14/2009 8:25:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VirginPotty quote: When he touches me gently with those hands that can be so cruel I know I'm in the right place. Very nicely put, ATJ. I too have been thinking about this thread but more about the wording in my original post AND the other thread that led to this thread. I'd like to publicly apologize for being so "judgemental". I read each & every response left here and as the majority said, "If that's what the Dom wants then who am I to call it "soft" I'm being taught by an "old school Dom" who believes such acts toward a sub "soft" yet on the flip side does not deny me aftercare (holding me tight, spooning etc) but anything I need better be on the table beforehand (liquids, foods etc) because he has no intention of getting that for me and when I mentioned the "AfterCare" thread to him he started telling me how "soft" he thought BDSM has become..........thus a thread was born. Again, my apologies for sounding judgemental. I loved the way Maria put that too! It sounds so very familiar. sighs Anyway, I know I, for one, did not really take offense to your position. I did have a slightly different viewpoint on it, and I'm glad reading what others have said has helped you look at things in other ways. [:)] lovingpet

DesFIP -> RE: Has BDSM become "soft"? (9/14/2009 8:44:25 PM)
The problem here is that VP defined soft as bad from the beginning. In essence she said that anybody who didn't do it her way wasn't real. That my kink is okay and yours isn't. And of course that got a lot of backs up. What if I rewrote it and said I had met this sadist who boasted about how hard he was, that if a sub didn't know ahead of time she would be really thirsty afterwards and would need a glass of water, he wouldn't get it for her. Would you think that was a good thing or would you assume he was a selfish ass? Beyond that, this sadist - I won't call him a dominant if the only interactions between them are pain play sessions- has one hell of an assumption. He assumes the sub will know before what she'll need afterwards. And you don't. You could one day be very nauseous and need a gatorade instead of water. You could be so cold that you couldn't drink water, but needed something hot. And you can't make a hot drink three hours ahead and have it still be hot when you need it. Moreover if you've only needed a hot drink twice in 8 years of playing together, of course you won't know that this day will be time number three.

VirginPotty -> RE: Has BDSM become "soft"? (9/15/2009 6:36:02 AM)
[8\|]Thanks DesFip, appreciate your understanding.

CelticPrince -> RE: Has BDSM become "soft"? (9/16/2009 6:10:19 AM)
quote: This thread comes after reading the "After Care" thread and all the posts from subs who get everything from cookies & hot chocolate to a meal after a 'session'. As I posted there, I was always taught that we are there to provide for the Dom's needs, their desires not to be molly-coddled after doing what we're supposed to do. I know after care is important but I'm thinking cuddling, kept warm and going to sleep, not the dom scurrying around, waiting on the sub hand & foot all in the name of preventing sub drop. Thoughts? [/quote VP, A very candid observation; bravo! CP

Prinsexx -> RE: Has BDSM become "soft"? (9/16/2009 6:13:28 AM)
Fast reply: A hard man is hard to find....?

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