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RE: Is this True? - 10/3/2009 5:03:34 PM   
SubOnlyForHim


Posts: 787
Joined: 8/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Of course it can happen.  If the Dom does not exert power in the relationship, the sub will take over.  I don't know that I'd call it "overthrowing", as much as a steady erosion of control.


Agreed

Imagine the scene...

Dominant .....'You will do as I say NOW'

Sub.............. 'no way can I do that Master'

Master........... 'YOU WILL DO AS I SAY NOW'

sub ...............'I REALLY CANT DO IT MASTER'

Master............ 'I will do it myself then. How would you like me to do it Mistress?'


Sure thing. The next time my masochistic side really flares up when i see Sir i will try this.


Surely, it would end something like this....

< Message edited by SubOnlyForHim -- 10/3/2009 5:31:09 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Is this True? - 10/10/2009 7:05:37 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

what do you mean by 'overthrownd'?

It's like pwning from the bottom.



ROFL!

I wish I had said that.

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"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Is this True? - 10/10/2009 9:08:52 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

... like where a male ... grasps a bodice and rips it open to reveal a heaving bosom, and the supple slave flesh underneath?




Uhhhh, did anybody say anything after this??? 


Cali


_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Is this True? - 10/11/2009 2:34:43 AM   
Elipsis


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		Sounds like a great time to me. 

(in reply to EspadaKing)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Is this True? - 10/11/2009 3:57:32 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SireKane

This probably happens than you know. My experience in the lifestyles has taught me that most of the men in this lifestyle who claim to be dominant men are submissive butt boys just waiting for the right woman to shove a strap on up their ass. If you think I'm wrong start polling  the real life submissive females you know.


Well that may be your case, but I doubt it is most men. Good luck in finding that "right women".


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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Is this True? - 10/11/2009 4:10:29 AM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		I've seen my share of relationships where who was dom and who was sub has shifted. Not my force, as has been pointed out, but by agreement.

I can certainly see a *roleplay* of the scene the OP describes occurring between 2 switches. That could be VERY hot.

As for the dom men looking to submit. I'd say a good 80% who *claim* to be dom are looking for me to dom them.






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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Is this True? - 10/15/2009 8:28:47 PM   
DawnMiko


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/11/2009
Status: offline 		S&M
That was good. As a sub, with a mind of her own, juggling a business and lots of responsibilities, I can see how, say, a dom might get steam rollered by someone sexually submissive but professionally strong and well positioned. But I can't imagine any sub desiring the train wreck the poor chemistry caused. Because that's what witnessing a dom's submission would look like to me. Yuck. What's the sub supposed to do post-wreck? TELL him to tie her up and spank her? Good grief. I'm just saying.

Like vanilla relationships, chemistry is everything. Knowing that I don't have to prop someone up so he can be the sexy dominate is an absolute chemistry issue.

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Is this True? - 10/15/2009 10:16:57 PM   
TimrehIX


Posts: 75
Joined: 6/29/2009
Status: offline 		It would make an interesting story on nifty. But when I am with a Dom I am there to submit. I don’t want to be a Dom. That kinda defeats the purpose of being a sub.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Is this True? - 10/15/2009 10:41:20 PM   
InvisibleBlack


Posts: 865
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EspadaKing

I have heard of instances where a Dom either male or female gets over thrownd by there property and thus become the property. Is there any truth to this? (No offense intended.)


Have I ever seen or heard of a Dom being conquered by a sub and made to become the sub in some amazingly erotic power-struggle? No. Although I suspect it does happen a lot in online erotica.

Have I seen a D/s relationship where over time a somewhat passive or not overly strong Dom was gradually worn down by an energetic or forceful sub or bottom and eventually the power dynamic of the relationship shifted to where the "sub" was more often calling the shots or getting his/her demands met and the "Dom" was more often reactive or seeking to please the sub - despite whatever was going on in the bedroom? Yeah. I've seen it happen. The titles didn't change but the nature of the relationship did.

It doesn't happen in some massive John Woo-esque apocalypse of violence, leather and forced orgasm - but it can happen over time in a slow method of transference of power. I suppose you could claim that the "Dom" wasn't really a Dom and the "sub" was really a sub but I don't want to start a whole new debate on BDSM semantics. That was the way they self-identified.

There are even profiles on CM right now where a sub will say that they're "bratty" or "hard to handle" or whatever. I've never seen a Dom say "I'm really easy-going and not very demanding" but some are.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Is this True? - 10/16/2009 12:26:07 AM   
einstien5201


Posts: 63
Joined: 9/29/2009
Status: offline 		I'm really easy-going and not very demanding! =D

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Is this True? - 10/16/2009 5:13:14 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		It's absolutely possible.  Probable, even.                                                  

Say, this is some great weed.....anybody want some?                                                
                                                                                                                                    

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Is this True? - 10/16/2009 7:35:46 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack
There are even profiles on CM right now where a sub will say that they're "bratty" or "hard to handle" or whatever. I've never seen a Dom say "I'm really easy-going and not very demanding" but some are.


He is thanks be, laid back and not very demanding. He isn't sadistic so he isn't going to demand I clean the floor with a toothbrush in order to get his kicks from it. I think a lot of the self identifying strict masters are actually using that to get their sadism needs met instead of being honest about needing an outlet for their desire to hurt someone. So they make stupid rules that cannot be obeyed in order to have an excuse to punish.

Of course this leads to the end of the relationship as the sub gives up trying to please knowing she's being set up to fail. And then of course the doms claim she wasn't a true sub. When actually what she wasn't was an emotional masochist and had never claimed to be.

I was impossible to handle until he had proved himself competent at handling things in my eyes. And my standards are very high. But his dominance has nothing to do with his desire to micromanage. He just wants life as he wants it.

However I have to admit that I would never be compatible with someone who micromanaged the kitchen or chores. It doesn't matter if the floor is washed today or tomorrow or if the laundry is started in the morning or after dinner. It just matters that it gets done. Anybody who interfered needlessly with those kinds of things, and assumed I was too dumb to realize the laundry basket was full, is not someone I judge competent at prioritizing.

I don't get that if I have to say I can't do that, that he automatically becomes the sub. Around here his response is to ask what the problem is. Scheduling conflict, lack of understanding how to do the task, lack of physical ability to accomplish it. He could order me to open a new jar of pickles until the cows come home and it won't do anything. I don't have the strength needed. What happened to communication?

I brat sometimes when we're both in the mood for it. It's a way for me to invite play and sex without risking rejection. And of course, it's fun for both of us.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Is this True? - 10/16/2009 7:54:56 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		I'm sure it does happen but not as often as some people think...or wish?...and not as rare as some think...or hope.

If a dominant becomes passive, if he does not exert his dominance, if he is not willing to live a life in which there is always room for a push to another plateau.  I can see it happening in a situation in which the dominant turns over everything to do with the goal...at first...of freeing up his time.  But in doing so, he also neglects to continue to manage/oversee/set rules for these tasks and ends up leaving the submissive in a position where she not only does everything, she runs everything.  When this is done, with no control other than the initial setting up, then I could see where some s-types would begin to feel that they are running most of the show anyway, why not run all of it?


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Is this True? - 10/16/2009 8:07:19 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		CD, that's a fascinating idea, that you must always be pushing towards another goal. You can't ever say that this is where you are both happy and fulfilled and stay there? Because I'm happiest in a rut. I know what's needed, there's no stress at accomplishing it, and we're both getting what we need. The rules haven't magically disappeared just because I don't need pushing to learn them or follow them.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Is this True? - 10/16/2009 2:32:03 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

CD, that's a fascinating idea, that you must always be pushing towards another goal. You can't ever say that this is where you are both happy and fulfilled and stay there? Because I'm happiest in a rut. I know what's needed, there's no stress at accomplishing it, and we're both getting what we need. The rules haven't magically disappeared just because I don't need pushing to learn them or follow them.
Des, note that I said with some submissives.  And I also made that statement in combination with other things that the dominant might not be doing.

I don't necessarily believe that a goal always has to be reached nor do I believe that overt uber-management needs to go on all the time BUT I am a big believer in the idea that if your only display of dominance is what you show in the beginning to get things to the point they are now and you do nothing to keep them there while expecting her to remain submissive, then in most cases you are going to be in for a shock. 

But...taking it back to the "goal-seeking" for a minute;  I don't see a "goal" as always being some big step.  It can be something as simple as my submissive understanding where I am coming from a bit better than she did 6 months ago, it can be my submissive communicating something with ease as compared to when she/I first introduced the subject we are communicating about, it can be all kinds of small things.  I am happiest when things are going along great...but I also am of the belief that I can't just sit back and expect them to stay that way without some work on my part and on her part.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Is this True? - 10/16/2009 6:38:16 PM   
InvisibleBlack


Posts: 865
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

He is thanks be, laid back and not very demanding. He isn't sadistic so he isn't going to demand I clean the floor with a toothbrush in order to get his kicks from it. I think a lot of the self identifying strict masters are actually using that to get their sadism needs met instead of being honest about needing an outlet for their desire to hurt someone. So they make stupid rules that cannot be obeyed in order to have an excuse to punish.

Of course this leads to the end of the relationship as the sub gives up trying to please knowing she's being set up to fail. And then of course the doms claim she wasn't a true sub. When actually what she wasn't was an emotional masochist and had never claimed to be.

I was impossible to handle until he had proved himself competent at handling things in my eyes. And my standards are very high. But his dominance has nothing to do with his desire to micromanage. He just wants life as he wants it.

However I have to admit that I would never be compatible with someone who micromanaged the kitchen or chores. It doesn't matter if the floor is washed today or tomorrow or if the laundry is started in the morning or after dinner. It just matters that it gets done. Anybody who interfered needlessly with those kinds of things, and assumed I was too dumb to realize the laundry basket was full, is not someone I judge competent at prioritizing.

I don't get that if I have to say I can't do that, that he automatically becomes the sub. Around here his response is to ask what the problem is. Scheduling conflict, lack of understanding how to do the task, lack of physical ability to accomplish it. He could order me to open a new jar of pickles until the cows come home and it won't do anything. I don't have the strength needed. What happened to communication?

I brat sometimes when we're both in the mood for it. It's a way for me to invite play and sex without risking rejection. And of course, it's fun for both of us.


I agree with you, Des. I probably shouldn't have used the terms "laid back" and "not very demanding" but I couldn't think of another synonym for "passive" at the time. I'm not claiming that a Dom needs to be sadistic or micromanaging to be a successful Dom. I am saying that a couple of times with some couples over the course of a few years, I have seen the dynamic in the relationship shift.

Maybe another way to put it is - a highly competent sub can get frustrated with a not overly competent or decisive Dom, and begin "topping from the bottom" not just in the bedroom but in their overall lives, not deliberately but more (I think) out of a desire to get things done and often without either of them directly realizing it at first.

Sadistic or supportive, micromanging or laid back, bratty or compliant I would view more as different implementations of the D/s dynamic. The sub making the decisions or "calling the shots" would be a reversal.

Does that seem clearer?

_____________________________

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Is this True? - 10/23/2009 1:52:03 PM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		yes it can happen , but one must see the signs of someone who is a switch but did not say he or she was. i had one submissive who was wonderful until he started to act very aggressive , i got rid of him fast he still tried to come back i would not have it. i am having problems but i am still a domme and known this even as a child . so i watch out for that one act of something is wrong and i go with and trust my gut instinct. but it can happen . but if it works not for me but for someone else then if both are happy with the change it is ok to go with it.

mons

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Is this True? - 10/23/2009 2:09:00 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		I suppose it could happen, but they'd have to be willing to switch roles,  or put up with the behavior of the one switching the tables,. Someone just can't decide one day to over throw the dom and become the dom and now you're a sub if the other party won't go along with it or put up with the behavior.
quote:

ORIGINAL: EspadaKing

I have heard of instances where a Dom either male or female gets over thrownd by there property and thus become the property. Is there any truth to this? (No offense intended.)

(in reply to EspadaKing)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Is this True? - 10/28/2009 5:27:22 PM   
MasterAramis


Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: suhlut
so i am assuming that Espada was trying to ask if he/she/Cage03, had any questions for him.


God, thanks for clearing that one up, I was scratching my head on that one too!

Aramis

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Is this True? - 10/28/2009 6:14:28 PM   
librarysub


Posts: 32
Joined: 11/16/2008
Status: offline 		Chiming in with dainty and SireK. i've come across guys who want to be called Dom, but want me to cuckold them, belittle and more. The great part is the one time i did try it, i got the complaint that i was too mean. Gee, maybe that's why i'm not a Domme? 

_____________________________

De Ja Moo: The feeling I've heard this Bull before

i'm an adult so i can do whatever my Master wants

i swallow because i like to keep things clean.

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Profile   Post #: 60
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