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Is there something wrong with me? - 9/11/2009 10:36:39 AM   
EspadaKing


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/7/2009
Status: offline 		For some reason when I meet people and become friends with them I dont think of them as friends just as people I know. I also dont open up very much. Growing up my Dad/Mom wasnt around very much and most of my friends would either move, drift away or become jerks and treat me like crap. As I grew older I began to have desire for power and control which is what brought me to this site. I am worried that I will become so detatched that I will become incapable of develloping a emotional connection with my slaves.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/11/2009 10:49:12 AM   
Angevil


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/11/2009
Status: offline 		I really know?

(in reply to EspadaKing)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/11/2009 11:09:29 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		There are some slaves who desire emotional detachment from their dominant. If that wouldn't be fulfilling for you, then I would suggest therapy to work through the issues. It sounds like there are many.

lovingpet

(in reply to Angevil)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/11/2009 2:29:38 PM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		sounds like you just need time to grow up...

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See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to EspadaKing)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/11/2009 2:57:06 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It appears to me that you both long for emotional intimacy and fear the vulnerability that comes from it. That you believe by holding the power position in a d/s relationship you will be loved and wanted but that you can keep detached from the sub so her leaving wouldn't hurt.

This is not the right reason to enter into such a relationship. At least not unless you are upfront in the beginning and tell her you propose to have her craving you while you refuse her, in order to heal past hurts. Anything less than honesty in this is deceitful, lying by omission and will result in you losing her anyway.

Truthfully I suggest some therapy in dealing with your issues first. If you do decide that you are too busy for an emotionally intimate relationship, that's fine. Just be prepared to offer something without it and to only get acceptances from people who also do not want a warmer relationship.

You can't have it both ways. Besides, it won't work. You will still be hurt if/when you get dumped. That's what people do, it's part of being human to dislike rejection and have it sting. More so if, like you, it's one of your hot buttons.

Editted to add: It took a great deal of courage to open up and talk honestly about this. I applaud you for doing so.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 9/11/2009 3:00:05 PM >

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
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RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/11/2009 2:58:30 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, there is something wrong with you.

You have posted a couple threads all in the same vein, of telling us all how new and inexperienced you are, and now you come using the message boards as a therapy couch, telling us all in Tony Soprano style self-pity (and lack of self awareness) that your aggression and dominance stem from a bad childhood, and that you are emotionally retarded and looking to take it all out on a submissive woman.

And you seem mystified that chicks are not digging your rap and responding to you with open legs.

If a woman is going to entrust herself to a man, she wants him to have his shit together. Demonstrate that you do, and you will probably get a better response.

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/11/2009 3:06:58 PM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Unfortunately, you have no active profile, so I cannot garner more information that might indicate in what way you are special.

Do not harm others, nor yourself, and otherwise be true to yourself, is the best counsel I can give you right now.

(in reply to EspadaKing)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/13/2009 1:35:53 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		The only thing that keeps us from becoming monsters is our humanity.  If I find myself becoming detached from my partner, it's a reminder that I need to re-establish contact and connection with her. Buy her flowers.  It's really that simple.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/13/2009 3:09:08 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Ummm, perhaps I am being lazy but I'm going to go with a combo of what DesFip and Animus Rex said. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/13/2009 8:43:32 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

If a woman is going to entrust herself to a man, she wants him to have his shit together. Demonstrate that you do, and you will probably get a better response.



Bravo!!!!

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/13/2009 8:46:02 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		You post dumbass shit on here about scamming other people, you whine about how horrible your childhood is, and then you wonder why no one likes you? Oh and you have no profile, so we cant really contact you anyway.

_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat



(in reply to greeneyedreamer)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/14/2009 12:01:00 AM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline 		Yes, there is, but not what you think - and probably not what we think, either.

Whatever's wrong, I'm sorry, and I hope it gets better. In the meantime, I apologize on behalf of the gestalt if their responses don't go as you'd wish; they're only responding as they know. Maybe you haven't learned to illicit the correct responses, or maybe you are getting the responses you want to, and haven't yet learned why you shouldn't want this sort of attention.

Either way, it's a pretty clear indication that's something wrong. I hope you figure it out, for your sake as well as ours.

(in reply to EspadaKing)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/14/2009 8:19:57 AM   
Chimortis


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/29/2009
From: Morgantown, WV
Status: offline 		A lot of people in the community come from difficult backgrounds. A lot of what has made me the strong person I am today is what I went through as a youth. We're all always growing as human beings and as Dominant individuals, but realistically, I think you should consider taking some time to do some introspection and get yourself to the point where you have absolute control over your life before considering taking another person down your road with you.

As Dominant people, we expect a submissive person to walk our path with us. If your path is unclear and you are barely able to walk it yourself, then you will do only a disservice to any submissive person whom you would likely attempt to use as a crutch. That is not a healthy D/s dynamic.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/28/2009 6:08:34 PM   
SireKane


Posts: 105
Joined: 1/22/2004
Status: offline 		Sounds like you have some personal emotional issues  uncommon within the real life  male dom D/s population. You need to resolve those  issues before you become anyones dominant. 

(in reply to Chimortis)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/28/2009 6:18:42 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		No. Sounds like he's bored and has nothing better to do.

(in reply to SireKane)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/29/2009 2:09:24 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		maybe you should consider getting a dog?

(in reply to EspadaKing)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is there something wrong with me? - 9/29/2009 1:09:12 PM   
bliss4us09


Posts: 106
Joined: 3/31/2009
Status: offline 		If this lack of detachment worries you - and it would worry me - you should seek professional help.

(in reply to EspadaKing)
Profile   Post #: 17
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