reputation?

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chainedupnick -> reputation? (2/27/2006 9:17:37 AM)
For all of You who have had or expressed interest in subs with conservative families or friends, how would You have handled it if someone had threatened to expose You because You had taken on their son/daughter/friend/etc? Thanks for any advice ~Nicholas

Cloudz -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 9:23:06 AM)
Nicholas, Taken on? In what way? As a Master, as a mentor? I need clarifiation.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 9:26:47 AM)
First, I'd have to weigh the risks. If my desire to be involved with this person was worth the possible risks in my life (and everyone has different levels of acceptable risk at any particular time), then I'd move forward. If not, I'd end it. If I had decided to move forward, I'd try and get to know the people who were scared of me. We could go out to dinner all of us together, or eachother's houses. Just spend time talking. Even if they kept refusing my invitations, I'd continue giving them. Though stressful in the long term, any person I chose to be in a relationship with would stick by me as well as not allow other people to dictate their choices. Eventually the naysayers would be converted, or keep their issues to themselves or to the gossip train. Again, this is all supposing I'd accepted the risk of being outed as acceptable- and then followed through on that if they actually outed me.

chainedupnick -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 9:54:22 AM)
quote: Taken on? In what way? As a Master, as a mentor? I need clarifiation. As a Master is what I mainly had in mind, but the problem was because I wanted and went to visit.

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 9:59:31 AM)
Well, first off I would have to ask who the hell they thought they could expose me to and to what gain? I find that people pull these kinds of threats because they think the information has value to you. Show them that the information is valueless and they lose power over you. Better yet, take the power from them and use it back on them. (So you don't like me chaining your daughter naked to the wall, beating her ass and using her for my sexual desires, huh? Think your high society friends would be appauld to see this in their email? How about if it was posted at your place of work? Think the papers would be interested in this Senator/Governor/Mayor/Sheriff?) Blackmail is only as valuable as the victim makes it.

MasterOwnskitty -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 10:21:14 AM)
I don't know if the question is related to your own personal experience or not but as adults, we do have the right to do what we wish in the privacy of our own bedrooms so long as it's consensual with those we do it with. If there is someone who is threatening you or someone you know in that way, you may want to remind them of that.

dincubus -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 10:34:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44 Well, first off I would have to ask who the hell they thought they could expose me to and to what gain? I find that people pull these kinds of threats because they think the information has value to you. Show them that the information is valueless and they lose power over you. Better yet, take the power from them and use it back on them. (So you don't like me chaining your daughter naked to the wall, beating her ass and using her for my sexual desires, huh? Think your high society friends would be appauld to see this in their email? How about if it was posted at your place of work? Think the papers would be interested in this Senator/Governor/Mayor/Sheriff?) Blackmail is only as valuable as the victim makes it. that is very true, but also then you coul drun afoul of the law if your particular state has some sort of issue with that. While i do like the idea of turnign the tables, it could be a very sticky situation.

MHOO314 -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 10:41:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chainedupnick quote: Taken on? In what way? As a Master, as a mentor? I need clarifiation. As a Master is what I mainly had in mind, but the problem was because I wanted and went to visit. What does that mean?

chainedupnick -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 10:51:08 AM)
quote: quote: ORIGINAL: chainedupnick quote: Taken on? In what way? As a Master, as a mentor? I need clarifiation. As a Master is what I mainly had in mind, but the problem was because I wanted and went to visit. What does that mean? It means that one Dom I would very much like to submit to is not currently letting me into His household because he is concerned my mother would try to sue Him for money, thus ruining His reputation to the public and probably hurting His businesses. Sorry I wasn't being more clear but I was trying to keep it general. Anywho I hope this helps. ~Nicholas

MHOO314 -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 11:29:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chainedupnick quote: quote: ORIGINAL: chainedupnick quote: Taken on? In what way? As a Master, as a mentor? I need clarifiation. As a Master is what I mainly had in mind, but the problem was because I wanted and went to visit. What does that mean? It means that one Dom I would very much like to submit to is not currently letting me into His household because he is concerned my mother would try to sue Him for money, thus ruining His reputation to the public and probably hurting His businesses. Sorry I wasn't being more clear but I was trying to keep it general. Anywho I hope this helps. ~Nicholas Well you can't submit to someone if they don't want you--that makes no sense--so I am missing the issue--and what is she going to sue him for? You are no longer a minor--and why the heck does she know what you are doing? My take, find a different Dom--if he is intimidated by that I'd question his Domliness and his grip on his life.

IronBear -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 11:29:24 AM)
Mothers, bless them, can be a right royal pain in the arse when they decide to interfere with the lives of adult children. But Nicholas, that is what they do and what spme make a life long career of doing. Ok so your 18 and still in many parents eyes baby and don't yet know how to make adult decisions. I was 20 when I resigned my commission with the Australian Army to take a Merc Contract so I could go to Nam with the US Special Forces. My Mother hit the roof and almost refused to ackowledge that i existed for insulting her honour by resigning the Queen's Commission. After a bitter confrontation at whgich my Father was preent, I simply told my Mother that she was trying to clone me so that I would live along her rules, believe her beliefs and follow her directions. I further stated that if she loved me and not just wantedto ownme, she would allow me to be a Man, make my decisions and my owm mistakes. My Father supported this and thematter was settled. The problem Nicholas, seem to bethat your Mother will not lket go and allow you to be an adult and live your life. You need to ask yourself if you are prepared to leave home and become self supporting. If not and for any reason you need to stay home and accept financial support from your family you will be required to dance to their tune.

FangsNfeet -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 11:44:04 AM)
quote: For all of You who have had or expressed interest in subs with conservative families or friends, how would You have handled it if someone had threatened to expose You because You had taken on their son/daughter/friend/etc? Black Mail? Chances are, if you have dirt on me then I also have dirt on you. If not, it's not a problem a 45 can't solve. Besides that, any one wanting to expose someones lifestyle to there concerative family best be ready for an arse kickin. With these odds in my favor, I say bring it on BITCH! Giving into someones demands of black mail never garuntees silence.

FangsNfeet -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 11:49:36 AM)
quote: It means that one Dom I would very much like to submit to is not currently letting me into His household because he is concerned my mother would try to sue Him for money, thus ruining His reputation to the public and probably hurting His businesses. Sorry I wasn't being more clear but I was trying to keep it general. I smell Bull Shit. It sounds like he's giving you excusses for not wanting you. Besides, you're 18. How can your mom sue anyone for your well being as long as you are still alive and mentally intact?

RavenMuse -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 11:49:54 AM)
OK now maybe the answer to this is obvious to an American, but I'm a Brit, so indulge me a little.... What the hell is there that she COULD blackmail him over? You in some backward state that mean 18 is still illegal or something? If not then the pair of you should tell her to give it her best shot. As for you, you maybe a sub but grow a spine boy and stop letting HER dictate your life!

wolffeathers -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 12:10:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse OK now maybe the answer to this is obvious to an American, but I'm a Brit, so indulge me a little.... What the hell is there that she COULD blackmail him over? You in some backward state that mean 18 is still illegal or something? If not then the pair of you should tell her to give it her best shot. As for you, you maybe a sub but grow a spine boy and stop letting HER dictate your life! Let me put it this way, in America, you mess up (such as attempting to open HOT COFFEE while DRIVING), and you can sue someone else. I'm sure his mother can find a lawyer that would take the case, and possibly win. In civil court, your guilty till found innocent. And you only have to have shown that your a majority quilty.

chainedupnick -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 12:14:16 PM)
quote: If not and for any reason you need to stay home and accept financial support from your family you will be required to dance to their tune. The worst part is I was kicked out of the house for wanting to do this and she's still trying to control me. The only financial assistance I'm getting is for a cell phone, and that's only because she insists I need it. It is convenient but I have to admit that it's not really necessary. So yea. ~Nicholas

RavenMuse -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 12:14:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wolffeathers Let me put it this way, in America, you mess up (such as attempting to open HOT COFFEE while DRIVING), and you can sue someone else. I'm sure his mother can find a lawyer that would take the case, and possibly win. In civil court, your guilty till found innocent. And you only have to have shown that your a majority quilty. OK... folks abandon America! It is far too litigious. Move somewhere more civilised[;)]

chainedupnick -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 12:25:12 PM)
Wolffeathers: thank you for pointing that out :). quote: How can your mom sue anyone for your well being as long as you are still alive and mentally intact? It's more the fact that she tried, and if it actually makes it into the court, it would likely hurt His business. That's why it's dangerous. ~Nicholas

MHOO314 -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 1:39:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chainedupnick quote: If not and for any reason you need to stay home and accept financial support from your family you will be required to dance to their tune. The worst part is I was kicked out of the house for wanting to do this and she's still trying to control me. The only financial assistance I'm getting is for a cell phone, and that's only because she insists I need it. It is convenient but I have to admit that it's not really necessary. So yea. ~Nicholas OK, so here's My NSH$.02---no Dom wants a sub who is till tied to the apron strings--net net--family is good and families should be close, but this is not going to get you a Master-- and any Dom who takes that stuff seriously needs to get his act together, no sub wants a Dom who can't manage himself--how will he protect you? throw you to the wolves? Get a grip on your life--when you do, find a Dom who has a grip on His.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: reputation? (2/27/2006 1:46:34 PM)
OK now speaking as someone who was 18 not so long ago...it's a tough age. I was/am the baby to my mother. She has had a very hard time letting go of me and I have had a very hard time letting go of her. Right now, at 26, I'm extremely proud to say that I can come and go as I please, I can tell her about my partners without shirking away, I am my own independent person and she is quite proud and happy of me. That didn't stop her from threatening to call the cops on my fiance (who was 30 and living in Idaho) when I was 18 and he was coming to visit me. There have been a lot of hard years and tears and fights in between then and now. I was lucky to have a scholarship and live off campus for most of the next few years, but I pretty much lied to my mother completely about my relationship with my first master through college. I was too scared and unable to deal with the consequences (being completely alienated and without financial support), so I lied. My master at the time supported whatever choice I felt was best and eventually, after graduating college, I came out about it. Growing up is hard, for both parents and kids and this is a difficult situation. Everyone needs to assess where they are NOW and where they want to be in the FUTURE. You might not be ready for a relationship because of these restrictions. The only thing that will show your parents that you are capable is by being capable over time. That sucks for right now. But I can say that I understand the situation and do not envy you. But maybe in a few years you can be solid and as supported by your family as I am.

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