sex with a submissive

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subslut2409 -> sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 2:38:51 PM)
Hello out there, I have a question that may be strange, but here it goes. If a submissive guy is lucky enough to find a dominant woman to serve exclusively, does that couple engage in vanilla sexual acts. I'm sure that this varies greatly from relationship to relationship, I'm looking for generalizations or personal examples if you don't mind. I'm still in the search for a Domme, and I don't really know what's expected. I myself am not looking for a sexual relationship, but if I didn't engage in sex with the person I'm with, would they be unsatisfied even if they enjoyed being dominant all the time.? Thanks in advance for your input. I apologize if this post is offensive or ignorant in any way, it's not meant to be.

thishereboi -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 2:56:08 PM)
In past relationships, sometimes it did and sometimes it didn't.

DesFIP -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 2:57:54 PM)
If the exclusivity goes both ways, I would imagine she would not want to be deprived of sex just because you did want to be. If she has other partners I'm sure some would be happy to have a purely service submissive.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 3:20:57 PM)
I find it strange that someone calling themselves slut in their screenname is not looking for a sexual relationship. But that is another matter im sure. I have had relationships that were sexless in BDSM, but I always had the option of having other sexual partners. Serving exclusively and being in an exclusive relationship are quite different. Back when I had him, Angel served me exclusively, but he was not in a relationship with me other than that service. He was able, as was I, to have other partners and the like. We had no sexual interaction. Fox and I are exclusive, service and sexually. He and I have sex however and whenever I want it. I could not put myself into a relationship that was exclusive where there was no sexual outlet. So, I suppose your answers will be based on your definition of exclusive. Do you mean you serve only her, or that you two are together and there are no others included in your relationship at all in any capacity? DV

CarrieO -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 3:45:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subslut2409 Hello out there, I have a question that may be strange, but here it goes. If a submissive guy is lucky enough to find a dominant woman to serve exclusively, does that couple engage in vanilla sexual acts. I'm sure that this varies greatly from relationship to relationship, I'm looking for generalizations or personal examples if you don't mind. In the general sense, the answer would be a definite maybe. Personal story? What works for me may not work for you and giving you an example of my personal life isn't really necessary for you to decide what will work for you and a domme. I'm still in the search for a Domme, and I don't really know what's expected. Then what makes you think you're a "subslut"? Don't advertise if you aren't sure what you're really advertising. Use the search feature here to do some homework...attend a local munch...do some reading, there's a great bdsm booklist HERE ....take the time to understand what you want and have to offer a woman. I myself am not looking for a sexual relationship, but if I didn't engage in sex with the person I'm with, would they be unsatisfied even if they enjoyed being dominant all the time.? Who knows, maybe your future domme wants a service sub with no sex involved. Your profile is confusing, though, if you really aren't looking for a sexual relationship. All you offer is a list of sex/kink loves and likes, nothing personal about you and certainly nothing that would lead me to think you're remotely service oriented. Perhaps you mean sexual service. See the confusion? If you'd like to offer service (not the sexual kind) to a woman, check out THIS thread on resources for service. Thanks in advance for your input. I apologize if this post is offensive or ignorant in any way, it's not meant to be. *edited for spelling

subslut2409 -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 3:47:11 PM)
Thanks so far everyone, I guess my username is kind of ridiculous considering I am not looking for sex. Anyway to answer the question from DiurnalVampire, I guess I was meaning a relationship where I served someone exclusively but they might not have the same exclusivity. I'd be okay with the person I served being with someone else or even serving someone else if they wanted. If such a thing happened, do the dynamics change greatly? Is it possible to be in a relationship with someone that is having sexual interactions with someone else?

VampiresLair -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 4:09:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subslut2409 Is it possible to be in a relationship with someone that is having sexual interactions with someone else? One version of that is called cuckolding. You are the primary partner, but she has sex with others and refuses you. Poly, also, works where you and someone else are in a relationship and there are other relationships as well, involving you or not.

SaharahEve -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 4:56:15 PM)
It really depends on the Woman. Anything is possible.

Lashra -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 6:36:24 PM)
Yes we do and have for the last six years. I suspect as time goes on we will continue to do so. Of course vanilla sex for us includes, biting, clawing, slapping, being held down and a host of other things so perhaps it is not as vanilla as I had thought. [:D] ~Lashra

malloves69 -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 8:04:00 PM)
yes ..me and my mistress do have vanilla sx together too [:)] love sharing that with her when she cums [:)] see she squirts when she cums and to witness that is wonderfull indeed [:)] knowing that i pleasured her that well its like getting a pat on the back when your lady squirts for you [:)] most times when she allows me to cum in her it is my job to lick her clean after as my cum drips from her ,,love that site and our cums mixed together do taste wonderfull indeed [:)] known her a long time thats why no condoms are necessary ...our fluids do mix well together and to me thats priceless indeed [:)] enjoy ..mal

MaamJay -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/12/2009 11:54:05 PM)
Essentially OP it depends on the Domme and what She wants as to whether you are compatible with Her or not. In My case, I would want to have sex with My sub once he was accepted as a member of the household and Master gave His permission to that. Though I have a sexual relationship with Master, I don't want a cuckold for a sub, why keep a cock and not use it? I have a very healthy sexual appetite and Master would be more than happy for someone else to help keep it satisfied! So we would be looking at a poly family situation with Master as Head of House, Myself as His sub but also Domme over the boy sub. However what works for Me would not necessarily work for others. Some do not want any sex with subs, some only allow certain sexual activities eg oral, milking, masturbation and not intercourse. Basically it's as varied as people are! Maam Jay aka violet[A]

littlesarbonn -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/13/2009 12:11:19 AM)
As many people have already said, it really matters what are the dynamics of the relationship you have with your Mistress. I've been in both kinds, and honestly, I've been satisfied either way because if the relationship works, then I tend to be happy with whatever comes from that relationship. What's important is that you're up front close to the beginning of the relationship, or you'll end up being VERY disappointed a few months down the line when your Mistress says, "no, I wasn't looking for that with you. I thought you knew." Or whatever variant of that you may come across.

thishereboi -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/13/2009 6:08:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VampiresLair quote: ORIGINAL: subslut2409 Is it possible to be in a relationship with someone that is having sexual interactions with someone else? One version of that is called cuckolding. You are the primary partner, but she has sex with others and refuses you. Poly, also, works where you and someone else are in a relationship and there are other relationships as well, involving you or not. this is the part where i get confused. According to his profile he loves cuckolding, yet he is not sure if it possible to be in a relationship with someone that is having sexual interactions with someone else?

RavenMuse -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/13/2009 6:21:37 AM)
The thing that springs to My attention is WTF is "vanilla sex"? The Dynamic is the way My girl and I interact, how We relate to one another, the result of a Dominant person and a submissive person who find chemistry with each other, it comes from who We are...... it doesn't turn on and off, It is there when I have her on a cross in a club flogging her, it is there when We are in bed and I am doing nothing more than holding her in My arms, it is there when We are at the store getting the grocerys..... and yes, it is there when We are fucking, regardless of it is rough and hard or gentle and slow. We are still the same people, the Dynamic is still there, there is no "vanilla time" and "M/s time"... There is just Us.

littlesarbonn -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/13/2009 11:34:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse The thing that springs to My attention is WTF is "vanilla sex"? Vanilla sex involves ice cream. Vanilla flavor preferably. Cone or cup is negotiable.

mnottertail -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/13/2009 11:35:59 AM)
this would leave out the black folk that might like chocolate. Some definition is gonna always leave out somebody. LOL.

littlesarbonn -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/13/2009 11:37:11 AM)
Well, it's a specific kind of sex. It's like anal sex is going to leave out all the people who like, um.........non-anal sex.

mnottertail -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/13/2009 11:38:33 AM)
damn, theres a different slice of edgy knife-sex kinda way of thinking of it.

Lockit -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/13/2009 11:45:06 AM)
subslut, when you posted, you said vanilla sex and I wonder if the vanilla might be the key word here. What is vanilla sex to you and do you see it as different than other types of sex? What do you see in the day to day of things, in a situation you would like to have?

AlexandraLynch -> RE: sex with a submissive (9/13/2009 12:41:03 PM)
I don't have "vanilla sex" very often. I've lost the taste for it. I'm a dominant woman no matter what I'm doing in bed or out of it. But that doesn't mean that I don't have and enjoy penetrative sex, with myself on the recieving end. Whether that is something that I can get from someone in service to me varies with the person serving.

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