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RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 9:02:54 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

It might be more interesting to see what BDSM and other cultures are like in countries other than the USA, dont you think???????

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Post #: 21

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 9:33:03 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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Well like I said, this is what I've seen. I have been to other countries, seven in fact. In Europe, the Americas, and African/Arab. And as I've said, D/s is naturally part of other cultures and people I talked to tend to be shocked that our culture is so non-D/s related. Hell, my first mother-in-law was so much the fifties housewife that it shocked me. My first wife said this was how she grew up, her mother grew up and her mothers before them. So no offence old Bear, but give me alittle credit.

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RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 9:33:27 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greetings find or see nothing wrong here or did i miss something i find it wonderful here no one has said anything tome i had my post asnwered and relpy to,you said many fade away from these board do they say why? ifind this to beone of the best forums i been too to express things answer question.i did find one thing unpleasant one joke that was told but the person who told it did not i think know that is was not something we do in the united states and later it was explain to me why it was told i expect that explaintion and move on but please tellmore why you feel this way, i have read some of the other replies i am ablack woman in my culture it is like am i a diferent type of animal a freak it what i have been told i am becase i am adomme and a black woman in out culture not matter what you see in the music videos or what others may think the thought of a black woman showing her domme side is being a freak but i see more then that i am being who i am and i do not care what others think only my familymatter and they love me still if that is what you speaking of. yes even the small blow job is know to many black men as being the freak lol then i am a big freak

mons

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 23

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 9:53:08 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Well like I said, this is what I've seen. I have been to other countries, seven in fact. In Europe, the Americas, and African/Arab. And as I've said, D/s is naturally part of other cultures and people I talked to tend to be shocked that our culture is so non-D/s related. Hell, my first mother-in-law was so much the fifties housewife that it shocked me. My first wife said this was how she grew up, her mother grew up and her mothers before them. So no offence old Bear, but give me alittle credit.

No, I give you a lot of credit. You should remember that I know nothing of your history... But I know enough of you through your posts to give you the credit and respect I have for you.

I'm also hoping that others from both Australia and the UK can jump in and give us a snap shot of the scene in their locations as well...

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Master of Bruin Cottage

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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Post #: 24

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 10:25:34 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Well, that is one way of looking at it tammyjo. But I think that as long as we seperate BDSM from our cultures in the U.S., it'll never get to an acceptable level to where we can be out and not have to worry about whether we'll lose a job or friends and family over it.

Oh, dominantion, submission, rape, abuse, manipulation, all of these things are alive and well in cultures. That doesn't make them the same as BDSM. Likewise the problem with saying it is the same then maybe that you ignore variations from the "normal" way of doing things. Let's say that you live in a patriarchical society but you happen to be a man who wants to submit to women if the social norm is to be used to make BDSM more acceptable then this man will be looked at as messed up. Or reverse it, take a matriachical society (I know of none but pretend) and you have a woman who wants to submit to a man, again she will be seen as abnormal.

I'm out and I don't worry about losing friends, family, etc primarily because I'm out. I never claim what I like or who I am is the norm of my society or culture I can only claim it seems fairly human to want or fall into Ds roles. The big different is that I go into this with my eyes as wide open as can be not like your mother-in-law whose family has generations of women in a certain role.

If you can expand your examples to general examples of various choices or desires human beings have, I'm all for that. I just get really offended when choice and knowledge is stripped from the equations and it becomes just how things have been done or how this group is without recognition of the individual.

In short I worry that saying "this is how its been in society" may result in one group being "accepted" and another way of doing things more vilified. I don't want my way of doing things to become more accepted if it means another way becomes less accepted because (at least for me) as long as is consenting adults I don't think its anyone else's business.

I'm sure I'm letting my own personality and experience here cloud what I'm understanding from your post, Mr.Discipline44.

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(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 25

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 10:58:05 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

Thus far I have interacted with many more white than black females seeking to submit. While I'm certain there are many authentic black submissives, each one I have interacted with in this community and others has displayed a substantial misunderstanding about who I am and what I do.

That there are not many black people "in the scene" on or off the BDSM boards may be relative to their minority in numbers when compared to whites, and of course the old historic social stigma behind the concept of slavery that makes for many the idea of being cuffed and collared and treated like a slave—consensual though it may be—philosophically unpalatable.

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 26

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 11:39:11 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I have no idea what race most of the posters here are and I don't need to know.

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(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 27

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 11:45:33 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

But sado/masochistic kink is a different story. In my family I'm the most outspoken about living as I wish. My family doesn't really understand me but they're accepting. I learned that kink is a bedroom thing that is only kept in the bedroom and not discussed with others. I've found this is true of other hispanic families too. Personal things are just that, personal. What you do in your bedroom is your business and only discussed with close friends. I've also had black girl friends that were very much the same way. They would discuss their kink with the closest of girlfriends but thats about it. They wouldn't even think of being out to their family.

So all in all, it is only the "whites" that I see that make a big deal about D/s. Especially in the U.S. Most other heritages say "Eh, had it for generations now. It's part of the foundation of our culture. No big deal." And as far as S/M goes, whites are the only ones that have to scream it from the rooftops. Other cultures just say "Keep it to yourself, you don't need our want to know." This is what I've seen anyway.

I would agree with that. In my family the concept of doing everything and anything for your man is fairly common, so Ds is not a foreign or strange concept. I think that SM is considered one of those freaky things that only white people do (which isn't entirely accurate). I think a large part of that is this sometimes rampant over-sexualization (at least historically) of black men so in response there has culturally been a repression of sorts thats happened in the black community (one of the multiple reasons for the phenomenon of the "down lows").

C~

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(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 28

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 1:06:40 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I have no idea what race most of the posters here are and I don't need to know.

Point well made proudsub. Does bs really have the time to click on every postee to see what race they are? Why even care about it in the first place? We are all people here minus a few aliens. Instead of being concerned with ones race, I pay more attention to what the individual is posting.

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Post #: 29

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 1:33:41 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Damned well said FNF.. Fact is if you were at a club and we got on, I wouldn't give a flying fruit tingle what your ancestory was or even if you were alien.. Chances are that we'd end up mates and then I'd stand the line with you , buy you a bear, carry your home when dhrunkkkkk and if you got stroppy, slap you upside the head, jam a gloved finger up your hooter and rearrange a brain cell and toss you on a spare bed till you sobered up.. Mates, buddies, friends and associates dont give a fuck about colour or creed they recognise the person.. one tiny step from that to giving anyone else who shares the lifestyle a fair go.....

< Message edited by IronBear -- 2/28/2006 1:34:37 PM >

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 30

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 1:48:34 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Damned well said FNF.. Fact is if you were at a club and we got on, I wouldn't give a flying fruit tingle what your ancestory was or even if you were alien.. Chances are that we'd end up mates and then I'd stand the line with you , buy you a bear, carry your home when dhrunkkkkk and if you got stroppy, slap you upside the head, jam a gloved finger up your hooter and rearrange a brain cell and toss you on a spare bed till you sobered up.. Mates, buddies, friends and associates dont give a fuck about colour or creed they recognise the person.. one tiny step from that to giving anyone else who shares the lifestyle a fair go.....

WOW IB, that was a hell of a visual. You have to put a warning up next time so that we don't all drench our monitors...

I do however agree with you, I could care less what anyone's nationality, ethnicity, or race may be. I don't get uncomfortable in person with people that all look just like me or completely different from me, so why the hell would I care on a message board?

Yes, it's nice to gain perspective from different cultures, does that mean that the person that shares my ethnic heritage has the same ideas that I have? NO. It simply means that our ancestors had a location in common a hell of a long time ago. Does that mean that a person with a different skin tone has a different opinion than me? NO. It simply means that their skin is a different color.

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Post #: 31

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 1:51:30 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

buy you a bear,

Cool, did i ever tell you i collect bears?

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 32

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 1:57:28 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Huge hug and kiss to proudsub.......

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 33

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 2:18:08 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

Huge hug and kiss to proudsub.......

Thank you, back at you, i emailed you with more details on my bear collection.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 34

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 4:44:17 PM

BeeQueen

Posts: 73
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

maybee its couse u look out for the *white cloud* that it seems taking over?

(but i agree that it gives me the impression from scrolling through the profils that the middleclass white american is posting most :p)

Bee

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 35

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 6:51:38 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I rather like diversity....

My first two slaves - one was Native American, the other was Hispanic. My girl now is white but one look at her and you can see the Native American in her family tree.

Black Americans may find it very difficult to come out of the closet and get involved in the public scene, but their numbers _are_ growing. Organizations like Black Beat, munch groups like CLOAK in Charlotte, PEP4POC in Atlanta, are organizing and growing. I think it's great!

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to BeeQueen)

Post #: 36

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 7:46:52 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

What does it matter what colour a person's skin is...we are all the same race anyway...Human.

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Post #: 37

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 8:10:33 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

It's doesn't matter what color a person's skin is here to me. I guess I am one to appriciate a mixture of ethnic personalities, I think I learn more.

I think you misunderstood me Arpig.
My curosity is with how the ratio of people of color as opposed to
caucasians they experienced in their lifestyle communities. And was the community here at CM pretty much in corelation as to the out and about communities.

Reading the replies I get the sense that maybe it is just that less people of color venture "out" in the lifestyle. Either have their own groups in which they move about or tend to be more private about it.

I wasn't sharing an opinion but more so asking you all out of curiosity.

*Brightspot

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Post #: 38

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 9:10:16 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Reading the replies I get the sense that maybe it is just that less people of color venture "out" in the lifestyle. Either have their own groups in which they move about or tend to be more private about it.

I wasn't sharing an opinion but more so asking you all out of curiosity.

Well bs, if you're going to keep this up, why not point out the lack of senior citizens and homosexuals as well who aren't posting on the message boards? At first glance in the message boards, it seems that most of the men are straight and the women or either straight or bi. Also, you don't see many people outside of the USA posting on the boards as well.

However, all these people do exist and are posting on the boards. It's just a majority issue. By random selection, the odds are more favoriable in picking a USA caucasion citizen that's straight. For example, out of 100 people you have 75 caucasions and 25 others of a different ethnicity. Out of 75 white people, only 25 people post on the message boards. That makes a 3rd. A 3rd of 25 is roughly 8 people. So you have 25 to 8 posting. That can be estimated that one out of every three people is from a minority group.

It's not that there's a lack of people of other races/life styles participating in BDSM and the message boards, but more that you just have lack of people period. Just because there percentages add up does not mean that you're going to see the same number of people on both sides.

Just to add to your mix, how come we hardly ever notice any dwarfs or midgets posting on the boards? It can't be because they're to short for us to see. It's not like a message board is to tall for them to post on.

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 2/28/2006 9:15:15 PM >

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Post #: 39

RE: How is your "Community" Racially? - 2/28/2006 9:12:22 PM

CDNGirlyGirl

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Status: offline

My local community breaks down like this.

Multi-cultural in the fetish/dressup scene.
Whiter than white in the play party/swinger scene.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 40

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