My submissive journey

My submissive journey (Full Version)

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oceanwyndsLoves -> My submissive journey (9/16/2009 7:15:00 AM)
Hello everyone! First all i wanted to thank all that knew me under oceanwynds and oceanwinds. Since the last time i been on collarme, there have been many changes. I did get to stay where i am, and ended up on a radio show. Ex Sir and i departed as friends, and now i am with a Dom that lives near me and has been in this 'lifestyle' most of his life. He is a little older then me, and the difference is night and day. He is what i decided i wanted during my time of going within. Now though am adjusting to not be a friends with benefit Dom, but one who wants me as part of his life. The adjustment is alittle unnerving to me. Switching from one who only wanted to be friends, and now needing to tighten my reigns( if proper word) as a submissive. He would eventually want me to be his slave. We are taking it slow and i am taking tiny steps, but i feel so ackward. One benefit with him, i can speak to him about anything. Communication is a real thing. Even though was with ex for 3 years, i feel like a newbie again. Sometimes i feel like i do not know what to do, and he's been helpful in directing me. i am trying to slow down and keep up with my everyday life, but each day i grow deeper into my need to surrender. Any advice to get past this newness? This is open to all people. Thank you oceanwynds P.s. i do not have a profile.

Mercnbeth -> RE: My submissive journey (9/16/2009 8:45:55 AM)
quote: ...Any advice to get past this newness?... this slave would suggest not trying to get past it, but work your way through it by accepting it for what it is...exciting, uncertain vulnerabililty with someone new. congrats!!![:)]

oceanwyndsLoves -> RE: My submissive journey (9/16/2009 9:32:41 AM)
Thank you beth and as usual for excellent advice. oceanwynds

lovingpet -> RE: My submissive journey (9/16/2009 9:33:35 AM)
Why would you want to get past the newness darling? Seriously think about that question for a minute. There is a freshness and a newness in every day with my partner and I cannot express how vibrant that makes my entire life. As the submissive part of the equation, it is a constant state of ackward and nervous to some extent. I never know what's around that next bend. I don't know how I will do with the next challenge. I wouldn't give it up though. He is there guiding it all and cradling my all too fragile and vulnerable spirit. He knows me well and he understands all the different things I feel and think. We talk constantly, openly. We listen with that same open heart and mind. Do you feel yourself slowly being enveloped in that right fit? You feel the hugging and cleaving to those parts that have never felt covered and protected before and how you feel the air for the first time on others that warm in the delightful light of day for the very first time? It is a sensation to be relished and refined. Sure, the relationship will one day become "off the bloom", so to speak. Mine has. It doesn't mean that each new day can't be as much a first time as the one before. Congratulations sweetie and sincerely hope for you that you have found your bliss! lovingpet

oceanwyndsLoves -> RE: My submissive journey (9/16/2009 10:21:42 AM)
thank you lovingpet Your's and beth words really made a lot of sense to me. The vulnerbility can be a blessing. thank you oceanwynds

lally2 -> RE: My submissive journey (9/16/2009 12:18:05 PM)
hey there!! [:D] im so happy its all working out, you deserve this happyness you really do. ill write on msn and catch up tonight. ive been a tad busy myself just recently. hugs and love xxxx

agirl -> RE: My submissive journey (9/16/2009 12:29:27 PM)
Well, you ARE a newbie........ to this man , and to the type of partnering he wants/wishes. There IS no short-cut to getting to know someone, getting to know a new relationship and finding your way around it. Why SHOULD you know what to do? It's early days. You're in a new place , with a new person.......you can't fast-track those things. agirl

leadership527 -> RE: My submissive journey (9/16/2009 1:23:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth this slave would suggest not trying to get past it, but work your way through it by accepting it for what it is...exciting, uncertain vulnerabililty with someone new. congrats!!![:)] EXCELLENT advice! What's to "get past?" Carol and, together all this time, are still exploring and working things through and adapting and all those things. I'm sincerely hoping we never "get over it". I'll take the journey over the destination any day of the week. Destinations are so.... well.... static.

kiwisub12 -> RE: My submissive journey (9/16/2009 4:44:53 PM)
If you are really lucky the newness will never wear off. It hasn't for my Sir and me, and i couldn't be happier!!!!

kallisto -> RE: My submissive journey (9/16/2009 7:52:37 PM)
Congratulations to you and I'm glad to see you back. [:)] I'm like others here .. embrace the newness and excitement and enjoyment and fulfillment you are getting with your new relationship. I really like leadership's statement " I'll take the journey over the destination any day of the week."

oceanwyndsLoves -> RE: My submissive journey (9/18/2009 5:52:57 AM)
I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments. Yes, this is new and all your advice has helped me. Blessings oceanwynds

DesFIP -> RE: My submissive journey (9/19/2009 1:29:22 PM)
What beth said with one addition. Keeping talking to him about all of it; the awkwardness, the weirdness of him tightening the reins - both wanting him to and not wanting him to and frequently at the same time, the not knowing what to expect. Keep pouring out your emotions so he will know where you are and what you need. Basically ocean, just enjoy the ride as though it were a roller coaster - frequently scary but still exciting and pleasurable.

CaringandReal -> RE: My submissive journey (9/19/2009 6:06:39 PM)
No advice, but I did want to say I'm happy for you. When I first started reading messages here, I read yours. They were always very thoughtful and interesting and intelligent, but you seemed pretty unhappy. I'm very glad to hear your luck has changed. :)

bluefireeyez -> RE: My submissive journey (9/19/2009 8:41:36 PM)
i agree with the others on here...enjoy the journey. i never thought i would like to be a slave or could ever be happy being one. Until, i met this wonderful man who turns me into sub-putty. He knew i didn't trust most people and He took the time and effort to build my trust. Part of that trust is knowing i can turn to Him with any emotions i may have. Sharing what you are feeling will not only help Him but you will also know you can depend on Him. Part of being a slave is giving into the new and unfamiliar, not trying to get over it.

MMagic -> RE: My submissive journey (9/20/2009 9:56:33 PM)
Congrats to you, you give me hope. Or at least lessen my new found jaded-ness, but only by a bit.

oceanwyndsLoves -> RE: My submissive journey (9/21/2009 10:46:52 AM)
Thank you everyone. Sir is taking things slow, which at this time is a plus for me. Communicating with him is an awesome feeling. He permits me 5 emails a day and to use them wisely. This process has helped me to think through my questions, concerns etc, prior to sending an email. He enjoys not micromanaging me, and is supportive of my creative endeavors, which is good. i am back now to living one day at a time, with everything i do being a reflection of him. i have stopped trying to be perfect, just me. When we first got together, I was still recovering from all that was happening back then. He gave me a task to reflect and write about my own submissive nature. This was a whole day process, and in the end I was able to embrace my nature and had no more doubts if i was or not. Again, thank you everyone for your encouraging advice and it is good to be back here and reading the posts. Bright blessings oceanwynds

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