panic attacks and BDSM

panic attacks and BDSM (Full Version)

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LittleKitsune -> panic attacks and BDSM (9/16/2009 8:36:22 AM)
Just out of curiosity, do any other subs (or Doms for that matter) experience panic attacks during play? If so, what does your parter do to help you calm down? I myself have panic attacks from time to time due to PTSD (thanks to wonderful rolls eyes people I've dated in the past). My Dom can usually calm me down by holding me still or restricting my breath to stop hyperventilation. I was just curious as to what others have tried/found that worked.

JustSir34 -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/16/2009 9:02:31 AM)
I had never thought of breath restriction to reduce the oxygen and preventing hyperventing. Although it is not something I am likely to try soon, I dohave a variety of paper bags hidden all through the house, rescue remedy by the bucket load and, in case of certain types of attack, I have canisters of oxygen (again) all round the house. My partner suffers from both serious anxiety and severe depression so the bouts tend to come in groups, thus we tend to know when to avoid play. Also showing that, if she is bound, that the release is fairly speedy can also help. Sometimes, however, they just catch you unaware!

Sunnyfey -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/16/2009 10:07:08 AM)
Restricting your breath during a panic attack....not really a good idea. Holding your face and having you breath with him....much better idea.

LittleKitsune -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/18/2009 11:40:03 AM)
We've tried that last one (having me breathe with him). It doesn't work very well, unfortunately. When I'm hyperventilating and panicking, I can't make eye contact. :) Suggestion appreciated though.

angelikaJ -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/18/2009 11:54:30 AM)
Are you working through your PTSD triggers when you aren't with him (or engaged in 'play' with him)? Perhaps you should keep a paper bag handy to breathe into when you hyper-ventilate. There are medications that can help with PTSD and not all of then are sedating or addictive. Beta-blockers for example seem to have an effect to alter the way your brain processes the memories. They also help interupt the physiological feed-back loop that anxiety feeds on.

DesFIP -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/18/2009 3:38:04 PM)
Unties me and tries not to repeat doing the trigger that caused it. I love bondage, but for three years he would tie me to a pole and I would have a panic attack. Finally we figured out that if he didn't tie my head, I didn't panic. So these days, I don't have my head tied. Seriously, is something he's doing causing it? A position? A phrase? Write down everything that happened before it got set off, and do so each time. Probably there's something minor that is an inadvertent trigger. Because it's a lot easier to not do it if you know what it is.

LittleKitsune -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/18/2009 6:04:44 PM)
We've been working on the triggers. Unfortunately though they are ALL sex-related, so play is often interrupted by my either dissociating or panicking. Lately, if he looks at me funny I lose it. We think it might have something to do with my new birth control since I was doing so much better before starting it. I just got off of my psychiatric medications and really have no desire to go back on them again. I'm doing better without them. Meow.

WolvenFury -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/19/2009 9:06:44 AM)
I won't go into the merits of better vs. worse pertaining to the use of psychiatric medication. As a medical professional, I would admonish discontinuing medication, but I believe personally that a patient is the only one who can decide what improves their quality of life more, with the caveat that doing so may not harm themselves or others. As to the mention of panic attacks without using medication to counteract the issue, there are many approaches to managing the issues involved. One major method to handling the actual attack that I have seen patients use is to practice meditative removal from the stimulus in question. With enough practice, you could learn to go to your "happy place" as soon as the symptoms start arising until you have calmed sufficiently. As to preventing a panic attack in the first place, anxiety levels are your key concern. If you are feeling under the weather in any way, be cautious with your play. Anxiety attacks are directly linked to mental, emotional, and physical stress levels. Outside factors such as work or school can have a direct influence on the likelihood of your attacks occurring. Also, examine your triggers and work through why these things set you off. There may be more to the issues than what is at face value, and I would advocate possibly seeing a therapist with and without your partner so that they can have an understanding of what you are going through as you attempt to work past these issues. I hope this helps.

Zechriel -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/19/2009 6:06:53 PM)
Good evening! I have had them for about 9 years. I also got off meds but getting off of them had the same effects as going on them...it takes time for your body to get used to it. I have them from going to the store or going to Daddy's. Usually I just really let him know that I am panicky, he will help me to breathe thru it or rub me down(good for redirecting yourself away from the symptoms of the attack). He stands or sits across from me and holds my arms while I am holding his, like in lamaze and just breathe and count. Worse comes to worse, everything stops completely and I can go home or take my emergency meds...am 1/8th tsp. Nyquil. Problem is it will put me out for the night. Please don't take this lightly, I mean this breathing suggestion. Daddy has seen a few full blown attacks...to where I am shaking, vomiting, and going to the bathroom at the same time. Crying, praying for them to stop or for him to make them stop. "Breathe with me, look at me, let's walk around the house..." really works. As far as I am concerned, this is hell, because I not only have the attacks but also the fear of them which makes going out anyplace or doing anything near impossible. If you want to stay off meds-bravo!! I will never go on them again, I saw too much of my father bouncing while they "adjusted" all his meds for his PTSD. I need to be available and sane for my family and for Daddy, not zombielike all day, every day. Good luck and if I can help any other way...just mail. Love, Zechriel [sm=cute.gif]

Ialdabaoth -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/19/2009 6:46:21 PM)
Speaking from the D-side: I have panic attacks if I hear laughter during play. It will either trigger an immediate flight response, which I mitigate down into "okay, I'm untying everyone and we're DONE here", or (especially if the person laughing is someone I'm topping) it will trigger an immediate need to inflict as much pain and terror on the person laughing as possible, and basically throws any concept of safewords, negotiated limits, or consent right out the window. Generally it takes about 30 seconds for me to regain conscious control, at which point I revert back to the "okay, I'm untying everyone and we're DONE here", followed by allowing everyone involved to decide whether to press charges, take me out back and shoot me, or just write the whole thing off. While it's VERY rare for it to become problematic enough for people to really grasp why it's a problem, it's one of the reasons I don't consider myself fit to play anymore. Make of that what you will.

DavanKael -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/19/2009 8:44:00 PM)
If you can't work with breath, have you tried putting your hand on his wrist or chest to feel his pulse? This can also help with grounding. Davan

bluefireeyez -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/19/2009 8:56:27 PM)
i agree, both with the medication and also with working on handling your panic attacks without them. i have major depressive disorder and unfortunately have to take meds. i can identify with thinking i do better without them, but the truth is what i feel better about is the lack of side effects. In reality, most people needs their meds more than they want to admit. However, most panic attacks become panic attacks because the person doesn't properly interpret their bodily responses. When you start to feel one, try using calming techniques and remind yourself that you are ok. Also, taking ABC data is a good idea A-antecedent-what happened right before B-behavior and C-consequence- what happens right after. Perhaps that will give you a good idea of not only some unknown triggers but also if you some thing keeps happening after the panic attack. If so, could this be reinforcing the panic attack (ie getting out of said sexual activity)

WolvenFury -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/19/2009 9:57:17 PM)
Agreed. I hesitated to comment in full on the APA's opinion of psychiatric medication in relation to patient choice, but the American Psychiatric Association's view on the subject is that a consumer should find a doctor they trust and follow that physician's recommendations, including medication as part of their overall treatment. It is very hard for most consumers to acknowledge that while one may feel that their overall quality of life has gone down, especially in cases of mania, in reality it is more often the temperance of euphoric feelings that accompany upticks. In other cases, which I find more applicable to this scenario, many consumers feel that the overall languidity that tends to accompany most anti-anxiety medications, especially from the benzodiazepine family (i.e. Clonazepam, brand name: Klonopin), degrades from their ability to function and enjoy life "to the fullest" before they have allowed sufficient time to allow their body to restore homeostatic balance in response to the chemical alterations elicited by a steady level of the medication in one's bloodstream. These things often take more than just a couple of weeks; in some cases, a consumer may not feel quite "right" until after several months of consistent, uninterrupted use of the medication. I also often find that consumers that do go against their judgement and work alongside the physician, staying in control of their care and working with a physician who encourages patient involvement and feedback about their regimen, tend to end up with a course of treatment that works well for them. Psychiatric medicine in particular is a very touch-and-go system when finding a medication or medications that work for a patient; there is often a long period, often years, of trial and error before the best balance of medications for a patient is found. Overall, it is still entirely up to the consumer; a physician only has the right to interject if they feel a consumer is a threat to themselves or others. It's a shame a few bad seeds have driven many away from psychiatrists. A good psychiatrist will give you ample time in the office to speak with them and work with them on your course of treatment.

DesFIP -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/20/2009 11:18:31 AM)
Unfortunately Wolven is right. It can easily take six months to find the right med and then six months or longer till you get to the right dosage. And you have to be very motivated to put up with that. I would like to add that if there is any family history of mood disorders, you need to mention it first. If I go in complaining of a problem, the psychiatrist always wastes time seeking causes in my life. When I show up with a family tree going back 5 generations, I am given much more respect. Plus genetic disorders seem to respond better to certain meds.

Aswad -> RE: panic attacks and BDSM (9/24/2009 3:35:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LittleKitsune Just out of curiosity, do any other subs (or Doms for that matter) experience panic attacks during play? Not during play. Or, at least, not because of play. Emphasize controlled breathing. If necessary, he can breathe for you (like in CPR) until you are calm enough to breathe on a four-in four-out count by yourself. He should breathe about twice as fast as his normal breathing at first. If he has to do it for long, he should slow down gradually to a normal pace for him. The process of controlling breathing is one of the single most effective techniques taught at the local psychiatric emergency ward to patients who have problems with anxiety. Apart from that, one technique that has worked for me and others, is to hold one's breath for long enough to cause the panic attack to peak, then resume breathing. It will be very unpleasant, at least at first, but it effectively lets the anxiety "burn out" quickly. I use it when a panic attack is stronger than usual. Of course, you may ask why you would want to cause it to peak, even if it stops more quickly that way, but it is actually less awful all in all. Also, it serves the purpose of diminishing the intensity and frequency of attacks in the long run by asserting *control* over the course of the attacks. When you realize you have the power to control an attack, no matter the method, the anxiety will start to diminish over time. That is one of the reasons why antianxiety medications reduce the long term efficiency of therapy, because they do not provide you with the means of control, but rather exert some influence over the anxiety for you. They are useful, to be sure, but the best results are acheived with some degree of empowerment (although, if he's "the right one," it should also work to defer the empowerment onto him, provided you trust him completely). Cognitive behavioral therapy is also useful. I started out with 3 to 7 panic attacks per week. Now I have one per month or so, and far less intense. Health, al-Aswad.

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