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RE: Respect from others - 2/28/2006 2:10:24 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
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You didn't say whether the friends involved are in the Lifestyle or not, but I would imagine that they are not.

One of the things that I realized pretty quickly in the Lifestyle is that no matter one's orientation Dom/me, Master/Mistress, submissive/slave, we tend to show respect towards those around us. To an extent, when we are around those 'like us', we show a greater degree of formality to each other.

Certainly one of my beliefs is that vanilla people should have some taste of what goes on in our lifestyle if only to learn respect and tolerance for one another. Is it possible that the divorce rate be substantially lower?

To use a Lifestyle phrase, we who have been fortunate to have these types of relationships currently or in the past, again regardless of orientation, maintain a sense of our 'place'. It is obvious that submissives and slaves understand their 'place', whether it be in private or in public, but I would expect that those of the dominant 'bent' also understand THEIR 'place', and treat people accordingly.

You cannot expect to control those around you, or even encourage them to behave, especially if they are the hosts. All you can do is to be who you are, and represent yourself and your Lifestyle accordingly. And that is something we should all be aware. We DO represent our Lifestyle, which is bigger than us individually. If we want to get further acceptance in the overall world, we will keep that in mind.

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RE: Respect from others - 2/28/2006 2:17:07 PM

MrDiscipline44

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Maybe it's just me but it seems like your friend is acting like a submissive that is trying to find boundries with anybody that is Dominant around her. like I said, it could just be me.

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RE: Respect from others - 2/28/2006 2:19:02 PM

MTslave

Posts: 153
Joined: 12/15/2005
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~jumps on the bandwagon with nothing original to say just wanting to say it~

Master and I are involved in racing as many know. On the track tempers can flair and words can be said along with actions. I've watched people in a 2000 pound car go after my Master. Let me tell you that yes I wanted to give them a beat down.... ~laughing~

However.....

I am ever mindful that I am the grace and manners extension of my Master. Whenever I want to act out or say something I always bring to mind the look of my Masters face when someone praises him for that which belongs to him. That smile...oh yes that smile that is full of pride...adoration....that look to me that says... good girl... oh very good girl.... thats all it takes... then I smile, watch the confrontation in any form, always tell the other person something positive about them selves and smile reassuringly at my Master. It always amazes me how well you can deflate someones rudeness sails by being nice. Compliment them, praise them, find something good you can say in honesty and it's fun to watch them struggle to try and keep up the attitude.

Humbly

MTs slave

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RE: Respect from others - 2/28/2006 2:25:42 PM

Submotive

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quote:

But to remain friends with someone who is continually rude is condoning and ultimately encouraging such behavior.

i agree - perhaps you might want to think about why you consider this person your "best friend".

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RE: Respect from others - 2/28/2006 2:52:24 PM

HisGirl8

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Holy Guacamole- thanx for all the responses :)

It seems that most, but not all,of you agree that I should have kept my mouth shut. I didn't but it was a small remark considering the fire that ignighted when she opened her mouth against him.

Let me clarify our friendship... She's certainly not my best friend- she was a friend of necessity but that would take way too long to explain. We met at an old job years ago and she's just kinda hung on ever since. I've always been kind to her and she's never really pissed me off like this before- only kinda sorta. Which is why I don't really associate with her.

I do see a congruency between alcohol and her bad attitude but she tends to just generally be this way. Like her stuff don't stink ya know? I do have a problem with people being disrespectful in all areas of my life. Generally the people in my life know that I don't tolerate gossip and badmouthing. She was so incredibly rude to her own BF that it just shows she has no concept of respect.

My Man and I had a verrrry long talk about this and he said he found it adorable that I was so worked up over it. We got home and I went on a miny rant about what a bitch she was how I'd never done that to her on coutless occasions... blah blah blah... and He said he thought it was sweet that I was angered at the complete lack of disrespect she has for men and in particular Him. I just really can't stand it and seem to feel much more strongly about it the more He Dominates me in every way. I just never saw things this way before...

Thanx again :)

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RE: Respect from others - 2/28/2006 9:00:27 PM

OscarHargraves

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I actually feel that you handled it quite well.

This person is your friend (vs a friend of your Dom) and therefore you have a 'right' to tell her when she's acting badly. You did that and without making a scene. Good for you. If the problem continued then it's up to your Dom/Master to handle it himself. If it continued after THAT then it may be time to reassess your relationship with this lady.

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RE: Respect from others - 2/28/2006 10:14:07 PM

truesub4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

She acts "rude" on lots of occasions, she's basically a great girl but can get that "hollier than thou" attitude.

I would distance myself from such a 'friend'. 'Basically great' and 'lots of rudeness' don't hold hands very well in my book.

Celeste

Here here!!! The bonds of friendship excuse someone from an occasional slip of the tongue or thoughtless comment. But to remain friends with someone who is continually rude is condoning and ultimately encouraging such behavior.

Ditto... feel the same way. If everyones lucky enough.. for me to bite my tongue. (ok most know I have a smart ass mouth on me too... lol) I'll discuss it with Master when I can.. and distance myself from said person.

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Post #: 27

RE: Respect from others - 3/1/2006 6:06:07 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisGirl8
I just really can't stand it and seem to feel much more strongly about it the more He Dominates me in every way. I just never saw things this way before...

Thanx again :)

Sounds like you did the right things overall. I know at a munch I went to years ago, and was owned by a couple who was also at attendance, some dork dom decided to make me the "bread wench" of the night without asking first. I simply smiled and acted casually about it, vented later and asked my owners advice on it. They said they were annoyed too, but that I handled it fine.

There's really no reason to make an issue over things like this. It can be a sign that you want to move actively avoid setting up meetings with this particular friend and let the friendship as it is fade a bit, but no reason to just yank someone out with a hard bang.

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RE: Respect from others - 3/1/2006 6:22:32 AM

litaTshai

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greetings All.

i guess i'm lucky. my Mistress is perfectly capable of taking care of Herself. She is one of those women who can slice your head off and you don't even realize it untill you turn around to walk away and it bounces across the floor!

i tend to get so intent on watching to see how She is going to do it this time, that i forget to be angry myself! *chuckle*

lita {Tshai}

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