Sexual Assault Prevention Tips! (Full Version)

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Aylee -> Sexual Assault Prevention Tips! (9/17/2009 4:24:41 PM)

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest
someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.


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ShaharThorne -> RE: Sexual Assault Prevention Tips! (9/17/2009 4:41:35 PM)

[sm=Groaner.gif]




LadyEllen -> RE: Sexual Assault Prevention Tips! (9/17/2009 4:58:10 PM)

definitely "random stupidity" alright; as possibly the most sarcastic person in a 50km radius from here and being possessed of a high level of achievement in this unappreciated art, I would prefer to take this as evidence that lawyers should stick to law and not venture into other specialisations in the use and manipulation of language.

and apart from that, as someone who has (believe it or not) been subjected to sexual assault, I query whether it is a suitable subject for humour, even humour aimed at the perpetrators, and secondly whether I'd want to be represented by any lawyer who felt that it was.

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