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Computer Terms-Texas Translation - 9/21/2009 5:14:41 AM

mydestiny2043

Posts: 714
Joined: 10/15/2005
From: Southern California
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LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.
LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.
DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the truck
MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin' the farwood
FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in the winter time
PROMPT: What the mail ain't in the winter time
WINDOWS: What to shut when it's cold outside
SCREEN: What to shut when it's black fly season
BYTE: What them dang flies do
CHIP: Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP: What's in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives
MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer the mouse hole
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof
ENTER: Northerner talk fer "c'mon in, y'all"
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya can't 'member what ya paid fer the rifle

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RE: Computer Terms-Texas Translation - 9/21/2009 10:48:49 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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Years ago, I mean in the fax days I ran across the hillbilly medical glossary. I can't remember all of it but it just about killed me.

TUMOR : An extra pair.
BARIUM : What you do when CPR fails.
BENIGN : What you be after you be eight.

There are more but I can't remember them and have not run across this in electronic form.

T

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RE: Computer Terms-Texas Translation - 9/21/2009 6:01:47 PM

LanceHughes

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Joined: 2/12/2004
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Termyn8or: You haven't run across them in electronic form because you haven't googled! Here's just one of the 54,800 hits!

ARTERY: The study of paintings.BACTERIA: The rear of a cafeteria.BARIUM: What you do with dead folks.BENIGN: What you be after eight.BOWEL: A letter like A E I O U.CATSCAN: Searchin for the cat.CAUTERIZE: Made eye contact with her.CAESARIAN SECTION: A neighborhood in Rome.COLIC: A sheep dog.COMA: A punctuation mark.D&C: Where Washington is.DILATE: To live longer than your kids.ENEMA: Not a friend.FESTER: Quicker than someone else.FIBULA: A small lie.GENITAL: Not a Jew.HANGNAIL: A coat hook.IMPOTENT: Distinguished.MORBID: A higher offer than mine.NITRATES: Cheaper than day rates.NODE: Was aware of.PAP SMEAR: A fatherhood test.PELVIS: Second cousin to Elvis.RECOVERY ROOM: A place to do upholstery.RECTUM: (All together now) Damn near killed him!SECRETION: Hiding something.SEIZURE: Roman General that lived in the Caesarian Section.TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at the train station.TUMOR: More than one.URINE: Opposite to...Your Out!VARICOSE: Near by.VEIN: UppityVARICOSE VEINS: Near by AND uppity!

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RE: Computer Terms-Texas Translation - 9/21/2009 8:28:09 PM

Termyn8or

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Joined: 11/12/2005
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Not to be a smartass, but hell this is humor so........ I won the laziness contest, I am too lazy to Google !

That might even top my last achievement. Walked into the office at work, boss is on the phone as usual. Went up to the water cooler, found it empty and snapped the lid on my cup and walked back out. A couple of minutes later :

Boss : Jeff c'mere. See, all you do is grab one of these bottles, tear this thingy off and stick it on there, what could be easier ?".
Me : "Watching you do it".

My buddy is a close second. He has rolled a 'cigarette' while laying down on the couch, and subsequently pushed the coffee table away and grabbed the dog by the tail because he wanted to play with him. All without moving an unnecessary muscle. Now that's the spirit I say.

T

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RE: Computer Terms-Texas Translation - 9/23/2009 1:47:48 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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LOLOL

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