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Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 7:36:53 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I know we at times have discussed protocols as a result of questions on various threads
( Seems the topic comes up indirectly), but I am interested to know from our current and new posting base:

What you are currently doing or implementing as D/s protocols, rituals, habits? ( and not the textbook ones, what are YOU doing in your lives?)

Which ones are exposed to the "vanilla" world versus "the secret world"?

Are these daily? or occur at special times/moments?

Which ones just "happened"?







_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 8:28:18 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting question MHOOO,

I would say what jumps to mind is the use of my first name. It is not allowed in common use, ever. It is his safe word. If ever I hear it out of his mouth, all stops. Then we begin the process of doing what is needed - aftercare, communication, etc. In the vanilla world being called Ma'am in public by someone is not so odd as to attract undue attention, but it does draw some attention. Also keeps a boy on his best manners :)


_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 8:48:32 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Calling me "mistress" instead of my name and getting permission before going out or having someone over is something we contracted. I do have sets of positions that he must know and that I can call on whenever I want or we need.

But each night we have developed a ritual where he kneels down, removes my shoes and socks, kisses my feet and we hug. Lately we've also added that he puts his head on the bed between my thighs and I just stroke his hair and softly talk to him to help him release the tensions of his vanilla day and refocus. Its our alone time and quiet time and its very very very important to us both.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 9:34:04 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		My subs call me Ma'am or Ms. Dawn at all times in public, and Mistress in private or in kinky company.

I have a ritual with one involving my pedicures.

And I have recently implemented something I got from KoM. When thanked by anyone in the scene for anything, my boys are to say "my pleasure" instead of "your welcome". I thought that was the nicest little thing, and it makes a big impact on them.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 9:56:39 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		g'day My lovely MH

As you well know...I do not have a slave....sigh....but hope springs eternal!

Once owned by me, my rituals would be fairly simplistic.

Laugh daily, practice the Golden Rule, give atleast one person a compliment each day and grab the stem of my innertube and blow me awake every morning ; )



_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 5:28:22 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
And I have recently implemented something I got from KoM. When thanked by anyone in the scene for anything, my boys are to say "my pleasure" instead of "your welcome". I thought that was the nicest little thing, and it makes a big impact on them.


I like the use of 'my pleasure' too :) and is definitely in their vocabulary now.



_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 5:53:51 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Thats one thing Master taught me to do, say "My pleasure Master" after being thanked for something. Its the one thing I can think of that He was really insistant on me doing as far as speech is concerned. Sounds like its a very liked thing all around by lots of Dominants.

I like saying it now for 2 reasons. 1. It really is my pleasure to do something and to express that..and 2. I love it cause its something Master trained me to do which makes it special..everytime I say it pretty much it makes me feel good inside because of that.

P.S. Im thinking of other things to add to this topic

1. The my pleasure Master thing
2. I have to have coffee ready and his clothes laid out in the morning
3 I have to know what I'm making for dinner during the day and not 5 minutes before I make it.
4. I have to do our own laundry
5. I have to not interupt him when He is talking to someone.
6. I have to never disagree with him in front of anyone..
7. I nearly forgot this one..I have to not wake Him up when he is sleeping...
8. I have to dress in a way thats appealing to him
9. I have to not buy anything on ebay and then have to drive for 5 hours to pick it up..ugh..actually Im banned from ebay at the moment unless Master gives me prior permission.
10. I have to speak up and not whisper.
11. I have to keep our toys in good order, which is a really hard task cuz Master keeps breaking them. :P
12. A slave girl is not in charge of the remote or the air conditioning dial.
13. I'm not to drive unless completely necessary and then I have to not make Master car-sick by driving erratically and not concentrating on what Im doing.
14. I have to go and visit him at work for morning tea or lunch if He asks me to. (i love doing that so much).
15. Oh this one is a biggie...i have to not delegate jobs to other people that he has given me to do.
16. I have to not start projects without asking him first.

is this the stuff You mean Mistress Hathor? There are tons....


< Message edited by slavejali -- 3/1/2006 6:50:35 PM >

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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 6:20:49 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I'm, one of these Old School Grizzlies who have a strong belief in both protocol and ritual. Generally I use mostly Gorean Style rituals and protocols but if Lodge is involved then there are specific protocols and rituals used with visiting members, similarly there are specific formalities with visiting military personnal or on the odd occasion a visitor from the State (Governer General's Office). It does mean that slaves of my home need to be coversant with the various forms of address and when they are used.

A place for All Things and All Things in their place.


< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/1/2006 6:22:04 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 6:28:00 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Yes dear slavejali, all these things and more! Hugs, I do adore you and your posts!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 6:53:11 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		I am a sucker for sincere tears.

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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 7:56:18 PM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I know we at times have discussed protocols as a result of questions on various threads
( Seems the topic comes up indirectly), but I am interested to know from our current and new posting base:

What you are currently doing or implementing as D/s protocols, rituals, habits? ( and not the textbook ones, what are YOU doing in your lives?)

Which ones are exposed to the "vanilla" world versus "the secret world"?

Are these daily? or occur at special times/moments?

Which ones just "happened"?




oh, fun questiom

I like the idea of rituals and protocols far more than my ability to make us stick to them. But the two that never change are

1. orgasm control...he may have one when where and how I say, and only then.
2. a greeting ritual involving his kneeling in wait with a collar ready.
oh, I forgot a third one :) My boy has a tendency to hang up the phone without saying goodbye, which I find quite rude, so that is now a punishable offense.

Smythe




_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 9:02:51 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What you are currently doing or implementing as D/s protocols, rituals, habits? ( and not the textbook ones, what are YOU doing in your lives?)


We used to have a lot more, but with Him gone all the time now, we don't really have a lot of time for rituals, as such. But here is what we do regularly:

1. When He calls my cell phone, I must always answer, "Good morning/afternoon/evening Sir."

2. When He arrives home, I do not immediately start telling Him what's transpired over the last two weeks. Instead, I pick Him up at the truck stop, and He talks about whatever He wishes to discuss on the way home. When we arrive home, I undress Him and we head to the bathroom, where I then give Him a shave and draw His bath (or prepare His shower, whichever He chooses). If it's a bath, then I will usually bathe Him myself. When He's through bathing, I dry and groom Him, and help Him into His robe. Only then, when He's had time to relax, will I bring up anything I think He may need to know about the prior weeks, give Him His mail, and anything else that needs to be addressed.

3. While I am allowed to sleep in on the weekends, when He is home, I must prepare His breakfast within 20 minutes of waking.

4. My appearance, from hair to clothing, is dictated by Him. I may not make any major changes without His prior approval.

5. I may not do any decorating without first running the design/idea by Him for approval.

6. I am required to work out daily.

7. I generally sleep in some form of bondage when He is home.

8. If we are going anywhere that requires He wear something other than jeans and a t-shirt, I select His clothing and lay it out for Him, and will help dress Him as He requires.

9. I must ask permission to attend any munches or other meetings when He is not home.

10. He decides when it's time to go to bed.

11. (almost forgot this one) When in restaurants together, I am not allowed to look at the menu or order my own meals.

< Message edited by Evanesce -- 3/1/2006 9:04:42 PM >

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/1/2006 9:30:48 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		Okay, this is going to sound so unelevated, lol, but whenever I visit my submissive, the protocol is for him to greet me at the door on his knees and kiss my boots, naked, except for his apron.

Really works for me.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/2/2006 12:25:19 AM   
MsPurrmeow


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline 		Rituals, such as the greeting ritual always have different levels.
1. "Meet me at the door upon arrival, as helpful as possible" (when there are vanilla others in the house or on the property)
2. "Meet me at the door kneeling, while opening the door, but clothed apprioriately" (When it's just family or people 'who get it' around)
3. "Meet me at the door in just cute undies, kneeling and bowing" (When we are alone and will have private time before anyone else arrives)

Other rituals, such as serving of food are similar. Even if I cook, he gets it from the stove, serves it on plates while I am seated. Three different levels depending on who is around or if we are alone. In public, the main ritual exists, but the formality level changes for appropriateness.

Most of the time, he fills my water bottle when he sees it empty. In some cases, it's formal, in others, he just does it and sets it next to me. We know when we're up for a higher level of formality, but the basic rituals stay the same regardless.

When these rituals are less formal for a long period of time, they do start to look like habits, but since we know that we can toss in a change of formality to spice them up at any time, they stay as rituals. Nothing is ever taken for granted. When it's taken for granted, then it becomes just an old habit.



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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/2/2006 12:56:06 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

What you are currently doing or implementing as D/s protocols, rituals, habits? ( and not the textbook ones, what are YOU doing in your lives?)

Which ones are exposed to the "vanilla" world versus "the secret world"?

Are these daily? or occur at special times/moments?

Which ones just "happened"?


Write a journal entry on a daily basis. If it's generic enough, it's posted it on Collarme.. if it's personal it's posted on LJ which is for the eyes of Himself alone.

Grind the beans every night before bed and get the coffee pot ready for Himself to just press the button. He just loves pressing buttons. :)

Wear something out of the ordinary under my clothing when out and about. I'll leave specifics of that to the readers imagination. ;)

Call him "Sir" in public kink/fetish venues and/or at home as he requires, "Master" when in high protocol and "Daddy" in private if I've begged for a cleansing spanking and he's granted it.

When high protocol is 'on', he expects me to be able to perform positions by sign or number as he has directed.

I do all household chores and all the cooking on a daily basis as well as run all errands.

Keep my chores list accurate and up to date daily, weekly and monthly and tweak for the unexpected or the once in a while things, like car registration, dentist appointments, etc.

Keep our budget in tact, including making regular deposits into savings, balancing the checkbook and paying all bills on time to maintain the credit rating.

Do research in any area as he deems necessary.

Send him copies of interesting articles ::including forum posts:: which I would like to discuss with him at his convenience.

Set reminders on the television for his favorite shows.

Clean and/or care for all toys. Make sure that anything that requires batteries have fresh ones.

Be in bed by 3:00 AM.. which means I'm done with this list for now cuz I have to go to bed. ;)

Celeste























_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/2/2006 3:48:40 AM   
Smythe


Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


Call him "Sir" in public kink/fetish venues and/or at home as he requires, "Master" when in high protocol and "Daddy" in private if I've begged for a cleansing spanking and he's granted it.

Celeste




Hey celeste, you busy girl:

What is a cleansing spanking, why might you ask for one, and how is it different from a regular spanking?

Smythe

























_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/2/2006 9:48:47 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Hey celeste, you busy girl:

What is a cleansing spanking, why might you ask for one, and how is it different from a regular spanking?

Smythe


Regular spankings are at his discretion for his pleasure. Now, don't get me wrong, I like those, too. ;) A cleansing spanking is something which I request for any of a number of reasons, but usually to help relieve built up stress or worry. I ask for these, perhaps once every year or two and Himself knows that if I'm asking for one, it's because I really, really need it, and he's very kind to help me out in this respect. I call it cleansing because I feel renewed and rejuvenated afterwards. He takes me to a point of deep pain where the only outlet from it is to cry.. and I mean sob and because my mindset is in a different place, I don't go into subspace from those. Kinda hard to explain, but it works for me and it is very different from other spankings.

The last time I requested one was last year when I couldn't contact my father on his birthday nor for three days after that and I was panicking because Dad 'always' returns my phone calls and he's not a spring chicken anymore. None of my brothers nor my sister had heard from him and no one knew where he was, so we were all pretty scared. Turns out he was in the hospital and getting a pacemaker and because it was an emergency, he didn't have any phone numbers with him to call any of us. Once I found out he was ok, I was a mess from the worry that had built up, so asked Himself for the spanking to bring me back down from it.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/2/2006 12:30:29 PM   
softpjOS


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline
in addition to some already mentioned.....

1. I am not allowed to use the word "no" to Her
2. 20 minutes writing in my journal daily
3. Deliver my journal to Her on Saturday night for Her review
4. Eye contact restriction
5. Be clean and available for Her use at all times
6. Must ask permission to join Her in Her bed
7. If She is having dinner at my house i fix Her plate and serve it to Her
8. I am to know what She wants to drink and bring it to Her without being asked. ie: milk with dinner or dessert....notice if She hasn't been drinking enough water and bring Her that instead of diet pepsi (yea, She grumbles but smiles and drinks it lol)

since we don't live together and have family around some are on a "as practical basis" such as:

If we are alone, i must ask permission to sit on furniture

Negative feelings/opinions may only be expressed in person while kneeling at Her feet

If i am online without Her beside me, i must wear a pair of nipple clamps (She made for that express purpose) under my clothes.

Every Sunday She responds to my prior week entries in my journal. At the end of Her response She assigns various tasks for the upcoming week
ie: cook dinner at My house on Tuesday.....reserve Saturday night for Me...all housework to be done wearing your butterfly this week.....little things that for lack of another way of putting it... keeps me on my toes? If i fail to accomplish something on Her list i need to explain in my weekly summary why it wasn't done and what steps i am taking to complete it. You see.. i'm one of "those" that find herself feeling like i'm not doing enough for Her, seeing the list 1. helps me remain focused on what i AM doing for Her and 2. challenges me to complete the list on top of my "regular" tasks giving me a feeling of accomplishment at the end of the week when i report it all done.

hope this helps
pj




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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/2/2006 4:45:29 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		My sub kneels when he enters my house, kisses my feet and hands, and then remains kneeling with his wrists crossed behind his back until I tell him he may get up. When we are at home he also serves me drinks/food by presenting it on his knees and then kissing my hand. In public we slightly change the serving ritual (at a party, for example), so that it is not as obvious.

Be well,
Julie

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RE: Protocols, Rituals, Habits... - 3/2/2006 6:32:07 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I ran out of time last night, but wanted to add a few of the more 'D/s' oriented rituals which Himself has instituted.

Shaving takes place every other day. Pits and legs one day, everything else which is required to be bald on alternate days.

The nether rings I wear are at his discretion. If he wants me in the rainbow acrylics, so be it. If it's the titanium slave beads, then they are changed to that or if they are to come out completely for some sort of torture, that's done as well.

If I am to wear panties on any given day, he will chose which color thong I have on when I go out without him. For example, today I had to go renew my driver's license and since I have on red polish with white polka dots on my nails, he choose a red silk thong for me to wear while I was gone. I love matching. hehehe

He does prefer me to be naked, but MN weather precludes that for much of the year. When it's nice, then I'm naked if I'm at home. He does allow me to choose my own clothing but when we go to a fetish event, he will choose the corsets etc which I wear.

I maintain the humidity in the humidor daily, rotate his cigars as needed and am allowed to purchase cigars for him as well when he is running low on his favorites. I am not allowed, however, to light his cigars nor use the cigar cutter for him.

I am not allowed to cut my hair unless he tells me specifically to do so, as when his daughter got married in Dec, nor am I allowed to wear it up unless I'm cleaning in which case I can wear a pony tail. Neither am I allowed to color or dye my even to get rid of the grey.

When we are out for coffee with anyone, I fix his coffee first and my own second. At home, he is always served first with the choicest cuts and selections. There are times he feeds me as well.

Just wanted to add those few things. :)

Celeste







_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to BitaTruble)
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