RE: What do you deserve?

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littlewonder -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/23/2009 8:31:15 PM)
There are a few things I think I deserve...happiness, a quality life, serenity, and a few other things, not because I've earned them but because I believe all human beings deserve such things in their lives. That doesn't mean I expect them though. But it sure would be nice!

Bimtrain -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/24/2009 12:24:28 AM)
We're really just talking semantics here. The way I see it (and I believe it is the more common view) if you've earned something but haven't received it yet, than you deserve it. For instance, If I've busted my ass at work for five years, have demonstrated the skills necessary to perform the next level job function, have taken on a leadership role beyond my title, have earned the respect of my peers/coworkers, etc, then I deserve a promotion. quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist What do I deserve? Nothing. There is no contract at the beginning of life which entitles me to anything. Not love, not caring, not being treated well...absolutly nothing. The love and caring I receive from others is earned through the actions that I perform each and every day. The day I stop performing those same actions is the day that that love and caring is removed. I am entitled to nothing. I deserve nothing. I earn everything. And I am more than ok with that. You are wrong. I see you're American and operating under the assumption you were born here that means your were born with legal citizenship. American citizenship includes inalienable rights such as life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. When your parents signed and filed your birth certificate they singed a contract that says you deserve these things. You don't think all people should be born into captivity and have to earn its freedom, do you? Should a newborn have to earn its parents' love? Should it have to earn its Gerbers, crib, stroller or onesie? Of course not. Our laws have also decided we have a right to education and if we get our shit together and join the rest of the western world we'll have the right to free healthcare as well. Our country believe we deserve these things until we violate its laws there for giving them up.

bluefireeyez -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/24/2009 5:11:27 AM)
Wow, this has gotten a lot more replies than i thought it would! Thank you to everyone for offering your insight! i do see where my Master is coming from much better than i did. Though, thankfully there are people as the same mindset as me so i know i am not completely off of my rocker! (wow that just sounded like something my Nana would say hahaha) Being deserving of things is an interesting topic. Do children deserve food, clothing, shelter, cuddles, etc or do we give it to them because it is necessary to perpetuate our species? To me, that all stems into preserving yout genetics. However, i completely agree that children should have all of those things. Perhaps i am overlooking those and jumping into how people think they deserve so much more...

IrishMist -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/24/2009 10:30:01 AM)
quote: You are wrong From your own PoV, perhaps. Fortunatly, I am not one to base my own beliefs on others point of views. If you wish to believe that some things in life are DESERVED; that just because you were born, that you are then entitled; all I can say is more power to you. You are encouraged to stand by your own beliefs. I happen to think and believe differently.

happylittlepet -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/24/2009 12:02:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bluefireeyez i was always brought up to believe someone doesn't "deserve" anything. They either earn it or they don't. Deserve makes me think of priviliged. Why do I have food and kids in Africa die? They don't deserve it because they didn't earn it? The homeless in my city do not earn their shelter/meals, yet I do think they deserve both. I am not criticizing what you wrote, to me there is just more to this. I am with IrishMist on this one: I deserve nothing; added: not if the world is not able to extend that to everyone else as well. my Master keeps telling me i deserve certain things ie success, happiness, to be treated well etc etc. Sure, if he provides those things, he can make that promise. There are many external factors that can stand in the way. Even if I work hard to get into grad school I might not get accepted because there are more students than spots. Do I deserve it, yes, but so do the others. I have no control over who gets in, only over how I present myself at an interview. Define therefore success. Happiness is a choice despite the circumstances? And to be treated well, maybe I deserve that, but there is no guarantee. And if people don't, then I 'deserve' it/owe it to myself to walk away (or to discuss why they don't). When i told Him i didn't agree He asked me why and questioned my definition of deserve and earn...asking me if i earn some thing then shouldn't i deserve it? i don't think so, i earned it. Deserving to me is similar to entitlement. Once you "deserve" some thing you always should. Whereas to earn some thing means that you need to continue the actions you previously displayed to continue getting it. When I think I deserve something, I become attached to it, and want to hold on to it. Then I disregard change. What helps me is to distinguish between needs and wants. As already referred to above, there are many in this world who do not have their most basic need met, yet in my eyes, everyone deserves at least that. When I pay my taxes, I am entitled to government services etc, to a pension, when I have build that up. But the government also gives a small pension to those who never paid taxes, e.g. to homemakers. They did not earn it. Do they deserve it? In The Netherlands the pension funds now start to shorten pensioners... they deserve to be paid out in full, they are entitled to it after 40 years of labour, yet they have no control over this. Life is not fair. i'm just not sold on the idea that someone deserves some thing because they earned it once. You won't keep deserving a paycheck for years if you only go to work one day. Capitalism in a nut shell. Sooo, my question is...(i think, sorry it's been a long day)...how do you define deserve vs. earn and are the two exclusive or do they interact? About earn, I would add what comes back to me is conditional: I worked for you --> you owe me money. If I don't work, you don't owe me money. Now I starve to death, because I am injured and can't work, yet you don't owe me money. That is why I think the European nations do better because their social safety nets are bigger than in the USA (even bigger than in Canada). I think bigger safety nets are more humane. Then that attracts the frauds/scammers, and then we say 'you didn't earn it, therefore you don't deserve it'. Just complicated. quote: ORIGINAL: spookyfe everyone deserves to feel happy and to be treated well. we also then deserve treat rewards for good behaviour on top of this. my master says the ame i deserve happiness Good. Trust him.[;)] I wish you well, ~Zevar~ How does the wink relate to your words? _____________________________ I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent. -Mahatma Gandhi Never Explain — your Friends do not need it and your Enemies will not believe you anyway. -Elbert Hubbard That last sentence speaks volumes. That's why I won't ask you to explain anything in your posts. And no, that doesn't mean I am your enemy...

Arpig -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/24/2009 12:04:06 PM)
I deserve a pint of Cherry Garcia Damnit!!

happylittlepet -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/24/2009 12:07:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: worthlesstrash I deserve to be safe and have my basic needs met. At least that is what I believe I deserve. I have pretty much gotten over the idea that I deserve to be happy in life, it's just not in the cards. I will leave what else I deserve up to him, honestly..it's not my decision to make. To the red text: you have? No happiness for the rest of your life?

happylittlepet -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/24/2009 12:20:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bimtrain You are wrong. I see you're American and operating under the assumption you were born here that means your were born with legal citizenship. American citizenship includes inalienable rights such as life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. When your parents signed and filed your birth certificate they singed a contract that says you deserve these things. Where can those new borns sign up to get what they deserve? Exchange that right for something tangible? All 3: right to life, liberty, and happiness are 'things' they will have to make for themselves (depending partly on the social economic standard of their parents, the state of the economy, even on place of birth, they might be able to achieve this in a more or less limited way. A lot of those, all born with the same 'rights' never get out of the slums, never get any health insurance, never get a chance at decent post-secondary education. And no, don't tell me that everyone can live the American dream (and agreed, some don't want to, and they live their American dream that way). Your system still depends on a pyramid shaped society: with the poor at the bottom and the rich at the top. Not everyone's effort gets rewarded as to what it's really worth (and that goes both ways: for poor and rich). Most jobs that enabled a family to live off one income in the 1960's don't do that anymore. Our laws have also decided we have a right to education and if we get our shit together and join the rest of the western world we'll have the right to free healthcare as well. Our country believe we deserve these things until we violate its laws there for giving them up. Let me refrain from commenting on that last sentence.

SerenityLuv -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/24/2009 1:43:45 PM)
i deserve love and happness. i deserve respect not just from my Dom and i also give it but also from fellow coworkers and from my child. i think these 3 things are what everyone deserves and should ask for and expect out of life. i earn my trust with my Dom and everyone around me. i also earn rewards from my Dom.

GoddessImaginos -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/24/2009 1:45:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig I deserve a pint of Cherry Garcia Damnit!! SECOND that.. [:D][:D][:D]

trueshadow -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/25/2009 4:20:22 PM)
All living creatures deserve a life free from cruelty and the opportunity to live life as best they can. I do believe we are all God's creatures, and thus are given the same opportunities to make our lives as good as possible. Just be thankful he thinks this way. This is a good attitude to have in a person. I'd hate to be involved with a person who felt otherwise.

DavanKael -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/25/2009 7:30:29 PM)
I don't know...I have been busting my butt since I was 18. I like to think I've earned certain things yet right around the time I make that assumption, the Universe tends to bite me in the ass (Aka: provide opportunities for me to learn otherwise whether I like it or not). Davan

DesFIP -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/28/2009 7:44:59 AM)
This has turned into an interesting discussion on rights and earnings but it's rather hijacked what was an attempt by the op's dom to raise her self esteem. Because that's what his words are meant to do. He wouldn't be telling you that you deserve a relationship in which you are loved and respected and valued unless he thought you had a history of being pathetically grateful for crumbs instead of a full meal. Don't settle in life, if a relationship doesn't fulfill you then you are better off being in a good relationship with yourself instead of a bad one with someone else. Don't make someone else a priority when they make you an option. When people tell you what you want to hear but their actions don't bear it out, don't accept the words and ignore mistreatment.

SnowRanger -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/28/2009 2:55:43 PM)
Hello, I have to confess that I have always hated the way 'deserve' is used. It seems to mean that one is entitled to something un-earned. I am, therefore, I deserve, therefore, I am entitled... Give Me... Give Me... Give Me...! I look at it his way bluefireeyez, You do deserve success, love, and to be happy... Get to work. My three cents (inflation is coming), Mike SnowRanger

SubOnlyForHim -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/28/2009 3:51:41 PM)
I deserve a nice backhand for what I said this morning, for it was truly worthy of physical punishment, but am banished to silence instead. Sigh I think Sir has figured out how much of a masochist I really am. Dammit! Edited for typo...

SnowRanger -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/28/2009 4:04:27 PM)
LOL... Well... moderte chuckle... My training officer Meade breaks out punishment from play. Not being one that is into pain; guess when I get the back of the hand!

bluefireeyez -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/28/2009 4:12:08 PM)
Thank your DesFIP, that is an interesting way to look at it. Perhaps that is exactly what He was trying to do and i completely missed it lol. It is true that He believes most people in my life are not healthy for me (a pretty accurate belief). So He is trying to build me up more than the others are trying to tear me down. Haha...sometimes we need a nice backhand! However...that would be counter productive if you like it. i've seen and appreciate some very interesting and different views!

SubOnlyForHim -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/28/2009 4:37:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SnowRanger LOL... Well... moderte chuckle... My training officer Meade breaks out punishment from play. Not being one that is into pain; guess when I get the back of the hand! You are so lucky. I should learn to hide my pleasure at pain a little more so that Sir will give it more freely... Nah that would just be dishonest. =( Doomed to never be beaten properly

DesFIP -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/28/2009 4:41:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bluefireeyez Thank your DesFIP, that is an interesting way to look at it. Perhaps that is exactly what He was trying to do and i completely missed it lol. It is true that He believes most people in my life are not healthy for me (a pretty accurate belief). So He is trying to build me up more than the others are trying to tear me down. Ask him, but I'd bet a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food that's what he was aiming at.

bluefireeyez -> RE: What do you deserve? (9/28/2009 7:19:49 PM)
haha i would, but then i'd have to find a way to get you that Ben and Jerry's!

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