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A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 1:58:30 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
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When your slave comes to you and tells you she thinks she maybe depressed and she needs to talk to you, how do you deal with it when you are not ready to talk about the situation that's feeding her depression?

(note: no I'm not depressed, Me and NZ are fine, just a question I was curious about)

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:00:24 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
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Any more assumptions and preconditions you can load into that question?

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:05:46 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
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Any relevant ideas you could offer to the conversation?

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:07:25 PM

mnottertail

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Sure, there needs to be a come to jesus night, once a week, once a month, once a quarter, or whatever.

And you come to jesus. Whether you want to talk or not, you both (all) just do it.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:09:27 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

So like a family meeting Ron? That's an interesting idea.

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:12:25 PM

Musicmystery

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

Any relevant ideas you could offer to the conversation?

Sure.

Ask better questions, you'll get better answers.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 6

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:14:16 PM

mnottertail

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yes, and I mean it's like you go visit jimmy swaggart, wailing --- gnashing of teeth, all out, nobody gets hit (within a very large reasonableness) and they get to say what needs saying whether you like it or not, can deal with it or not. You might need a token to pass, maybe an alarm clock and you pour yourself out like water until the buzzer goes, until all are done......no recriminations.......then, you grab a time out for who knows, half an hour cool off, and decide the next move.

Or just punch him dead in the goddam face. You're depressed, might hold up in court.

Yanno?

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 7

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:14:53 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

If you don't like my question, don't answer it. Don't like my post? Don't read it.

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:18:16 PM

Musicmystery

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I've enjoyed our little chat.

Make fewer assumptions about the answers, too.

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:21:15 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

yes, and I mean it's like you go visit jimmy swaggart, wailing --- gnashing of teeth, all out, nobody gets hit (within a very large reasonableness) and they get to say what needs saying whether you like it or not, can deal with it or not. You might need a token to pass, maybe an alarm clock and you pour yourself out like water until the buzzer goes, until all are done......no recriminations.......then, you grab a time out for who knows, half an hour cool off, and decide the next move.

Or just punch him dead in the goddam face. You're depressed, might hold up in court.

Yanno?

Ron

Lol, though punching someone in the face CAN be quite cathartic, it usually ruins my nails.

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:25:05 PM

Wantstocontrolu

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/11/2008
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A "free talk" time is good, my relationship has evolved so that anytime is good. But a specific evening with time is a good idea especially from the Dom point of view to encourage open discussion

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:27:27 PM

mnottertail

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

Lol, though punching someone in the face CAN be quite cathartic, it usually ruins my nails.

Another reason to look into one of those old bedside table alarm clocks to use as the token for passing around the family.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 12

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:28:39 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
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I've never dealt with "free time talk" or anything like that inside a D/s dynamic, are there rules about that sort of thing? Are the roles put on hold for that space of time?

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:33:29 PM

mnottertail

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uhhhhhhhhhhh, in most ways, nope-------- you are a SLAVE with a problem.

That would be my way, not necessarily YOUR way, but you get leeWAY in your talking to Master.

Me

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 14

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:39:09 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

Ah. Ok, I think I understand.

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 2:59:56 PM

vagabondduo

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If I am depressed and he's unwilling to take a few minutes out of his busy day to discuss the reasons, then I'm with the wrong person. If he is the cause of my depression I pack my bags and head out. If he is not the cause of the depression I probably pack my bags and head out also.

If I get to the point where unhappiness has turned into depression and he can't deal with it, then we have a bigger problem than depression. We have major relationship problems.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 16

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 3:01:47 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

whats if it something like seasonal or clinical depression vagabond?

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RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 3:17:15 PM

XaviersXian

Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
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greetings to all,

Depression (both clinical and seasonal) has been part of my life since my teens. When I feel myself starting to go down the clinical depression road (seasonal depression is something I am strong enough to cure for myself) I make Master aware of it, and then, if needed, I go and seek help (most of the "beginning" incidences of depression tend to go away spontaneously if I make an effort to manage them). Luckily for me, Master would never stop me from seeking help if I needed it, or anything like that.

well wishes,

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 18

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 3:37:36 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

Sunny,
i am His slave... When important issues that could cause harm to my life, well being, or our relationship occur i am expected to bring those to Him immediately...... i will admit i pretty much suck at those. As you are aware i recently got back from a vacation with some great friends. While it was a wonderful time and i wouldn't have traded a minute of it for anything in the world i was not at all prepared for the completed *fall* (for lack of better wording) in feelings that i experienced once i got home. In fact the very next night i was in the living room on the boards here and He was sleeping in the bedroom and i was sobbing because i was so sad.........
Finally i told Him why i was so 'depressed'. The reason had very little to do with me, Him, the weather, my hormones, the time of year or any other systemic thing. It had to do with the fact that despite the fact that i've been here for 20 months i still have not made any friends here. And i've tried various ways to meet people but have not been successful.
He hugged me, normalized my feelings, and we came up with some other ways for me to try and meet some people. The reality is it helped for me to talk about it....i know you've recently relocated (even though i know this is not about you....) and i don't know if this could be part of what's going on or not.....
If you ever want to chat, please let me know.
Kali

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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

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Post #: 19

RE: A Depressed Slave - 9/25/2009 3:40:43 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

I will Kali :) I really appreciate that too.

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Resident Hell Cat

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