agirl -> RE: A Depressed Slave (9/29/2009 8:19:25 AM)
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ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery Read Zevar's post mate. It might open your eyes. If you take someone on and they fall depressed you have a duty to look after them as best you can with professional guidance of course. You dont just cast them aside because they are depressed. People who are depressed need company and companionship. The worst thing you can do for a depressed person is stop talking to them or isolating them in a ward. They will never get better with just professional help. You have to do your bit too. Keep them company. Be nice to them. Lift their spirits. Talk to them. Reassure them.. I know it s a long road and not appettising but life is not easy. You dont avoid problems you meet them head on Regards Kevin I'm afraid that sometimes the isolation of a *ward* IS what's required. My daughter has just left one, and no matter how much I love her, care and support blah blah ......*I* am not equipped to deal with that kind of irrational depressive illness and negativity. I'm not the best person for the job, end of. I'm a Mum, not a mental health professional. I have a part to play , as a Mum .....just as a *partner* has a part to play but just *wanting* to be of assistance doesn't mean you CAN. There are things you can offer and do, and things that it's best to accept that you cannot do without fucking yourself up. I don't cast my daughter aside, I adore her , but I do have to cast her *illness* and it's ramifications aside sometimes. The worse the ramifications on the family, the more I push her onto the professionals these days. We are all still here in the same capacity we all ever were but no, if she's seriously negative and depressed, we KNOW we can't be of any beneficial assistance. It's easy to say things like *Keep them company, lift their spirits, reassure them, talk to them*...I'm afraid that the nature of the illness can make that impossible to offer for some of us because it's SO unrewarding and soul destroyingly destructive. I was surprised at first , at the low level of vistors for the patients in the unit my daughter was in, as I drove miles everyday to see her ........... After a month, I understood, yes, I really understood. If I'm a *bit down* , then yes, I've been led to expect a level of attentiveness and if my owner has blippy moments, no, I'm not going to walk off in a huff.........but I seriously doubt I'd be able to be *ready* to deal with any serious depressive illness that had major destructive ramifications. Not politically correct .....but true. agirl
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