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Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/26/2009 10:54:06 PM   
Aanakaris


Posts: 310
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		I seem to be a magnet for spammers and fake profiles. Honestly I've won the Nigerian lottery so many times I'm actually thinking about entering. I tried putting some warnings on my profile, but since the spammers don't actually read profiles this really has not cut down the fake contacts at all and gives my profile a negative look to any searchers. While spam may be a source of amusement, I've been noticing a subtle change in my behavior. I have started putting every profile I see through a filter that nobody could pass. I'm seeing fakes everywhere, the tiniest thing is throwing me off. Single picture, looks like a model shot, short profile, misspellings, sex with no relationship, etc... These are the easy ones, but I find myself critiquing everything so strongly, if you look for flaws hard enough, they will be found.

I have not contacted anyone in more than a month. There are plenty of great people out there, How do I break this cycle of negativity?


_____________________________

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
-- Dr. Seuss
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/26/2009 10:55:32 PM   
Elipsis


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		Well, not to be a smartass... but you start contacting people.

Edit:  I'll be more useful than that.  You know what action you need to take to start meeting people, it's quite obvious.  You're just tripping over the psychology... but the best way to fix your negative outlook is to take that action, start meeting people again, and have a positive experience.

2nd Edit: How about these very forums?  The most social and talkative of us appear to be here... and if you don't worry about compatibility and results immediately you might start having fun just talking to people here.  Then maybe after you have talked to some people on this board for awhile that you think are cool, you look at their profile and realize theirs isn't perfect either by your unreasonably harsh standards?


< Message edited by Elipsis -- 9/26/2009 11:12:24 PM >

(in reply to Aanakaris)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/26/2009 11:47:12 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aanakaris

I seem to be a magnet for spammers and fake profiles. Honestly I've won the Nigerian lottery so many times I'm actually thinking about entering. I tried putting some warnings on my profile, but since the spammers don't actually read profiles this really has not cut down the fake contacts at all and gives my profile a negative look to any searchers. While spam may be a source of amusement, I've been noticing a subtle change in my behavior. I have started putting every profile I see through a filter that nobody could pass. I'm seeing fakes everywhere, the tiniest thing is throwing me off. Single picture, looks like a model shot, short profile, misspellings, sex with no relationship, etc... These are the easy ones, but I find myself critiquing everything so strongly, if you look for flaws hard enough, they will be found.

I have not contacted anyone in more than a month. There are plenty of great people out there, How do I break this cycle of negativity?



Well I concluded that after calling one of these profiles a “Two bit cock sucking-whore " and she responded "how may I serve you" that either they are dumber than dirt with no conception of the English language or they are simply a computer generated program with pre determined questions and answers. Because the only time I ever got anything relating of an emotional answer was when I called it a poorly written computer program. I do believe these scammers must look for certain criteria and since they do not seem to understand English because you to not send a dominant to attract another dominant, I am guessing they are focusing on age. I would change my age to 99 as anyone real should inquire about the age and the scammer may end up just ignoring you. And if not. I created an IM account that I send them all to and tell them to start without me

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to Aanakaris)
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RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 12:51:02 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry to break it to you but I think the change has to come from you, contact one person and give them a chance, if they are not for you contact another person and give them a chance, if they are not for you..... well you get the drift 

I have been online a bit more than usual lately and my inbox is filled with spam and photos of body parts and invitations to meet strangers at their hotels for gang bangs but in amongst all of that rubbish there have been some really cool messages from people that in all honesty if I looked at their profile would not have caught my eye.  And in fact some of their initial messages normally would have been deleted but for some reason I have been replying to people and seeing where it goes and I have been pleasantly surprised.

And having a photo of you doing yoga on your profile is very cool!!!!!!  Damn why is the US s far away




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(in reply to Aanakaris)
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RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 1:44:07 AM   
BoundDragon


Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline 		I fortunately havent been inundated by spam (was it something i said??? I feel so left out)

I would certain try advise already given. Talk in these forums for a bit, you'll soon find there are a good bunch of people here who are most certainly real and very lovely too. Once your faith is a little restored then think about viewing peoples profiles again (hopefully with a little less cynisism)

The website is here to enjoy and explore, it would be a shame to let some idiots take that away from you.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 1:49:06 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		1. Buy a box.
2. Put your computer into the box.
3. Ship it to yourself by way of a freighter to New Zealand and back.
4. Spend a month or a month and a half doing shit that doesn't involve a computer.
5. When your computer comes back to you, boot it up and see if it's changed back into the kind of computer that used to make you feel more optimistic and positive toward your fellow human beings.

Oh. And -

6. Good luck!


_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?


(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 3:45:58 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
Hey! wait a minute! It's My turn to win the nigerian lottery! lol, I've had those too and the same "Lesbian Dominant Couple" is interested in Me; I'm Dominant, Male and straight, so I find it confusing what they see in Me lol.

Anyway, I think you're beating yourself up a bit over this. For a start the scammers try it on all the time with people and they always will and you can't really make 'em stop-only ignore.There are plenty of sincere P/people on c.m, you just have to find them, or let them find you-give people a reason to contact you; a post they've read or journal entry.

Keep talking, keep having an opinion and you'll get noticed, but understand, the scammers are still going to be here.

(in reply to Aanakaris)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 4:53:46 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Don't go contacting the supermodel type pictures. Because really, do you think an 18 year old perfect 10 blonde needs do anything other than go for a walk to meet more than enough men that she'll be busy for weeks sorting through them? Look for real people who live near you. Go to munches.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 4:55:12 AM   
looking4princess


Posts: 165
Joined: 4/9/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah really! I think you just have to take the good with the bad and suck it up. Quoting from the movie Fight Club: "no fear. no distractions. Stop trying to control everything and just let go." Smile at strangers. It will make them worry. And so what if you go to the second or third message before they reveal their scam? Have some fun with it. Your way lies paranoia. But never give your real name and email addy.

_____________________________

vincent....

Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance? I ask you.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 5:09:05 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

There are plenty of great people out there, How do I break this cycle of negativity?


You stop the cycle by stepping off.  You're making the choice to be negative and critical, make the choice to stop.

You've made a point of not contacting anyone for a month, why not make a point of getting offline for a month and meet people in real life?  Go to a munch.  Get out from behind the screen and realize that not everyone is out to scam you.
"I don't want an ideal person, I want a real person..."  taken from your profile, is all the more reason to turn off the computer and turn on Real Life.


_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to Aanakaris)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 8:38:48 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Don't go contacting the supermodel type pictures. Because really, do you think an 18 year old perfect 10 blonde needs do anything other than go for a walk to meet more than enough men that she'll be busy for weeks sorting through them? Look for real people who live near you. Go to munches.
But Des... I Wwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnttttt an 18 year old swimsuit model..... *chuckles*


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 8:50:55 AM   
honeygirl


Posts: 111
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline 		I think you should consider asking for what you want. You spend the first section of your profile writing about all the things you're not looking to find in a partner, so I feel that you can definitely increase the positivity by re-working your profile to focus on the more positive aspects of what you want. I suggest you target your profile for that "best" person for you and concentrate less on all those whom you dislike or do not want.

As for spammers/scammers, you may want to think about keeping mention of how frustrating it might be to deal with those losers out of your profile/journal.

And, as DesFIP indicated, do other things to find a partner. It may only increase your frustration were collarme to be your only recourse to finding a great partner! Based on your profile, I realize this might be tough, given the hours you work. Hang in there and best wishes that things work out!

(in reply to Aanakaris)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 10:11:52 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Maybe step away from your computer for awhile and try dating people in the real world for awhile?

Seriously, the computer can turn people away from others, make them less social, easily jaded and just not fun to be around so my suggestion is always to interact with people in your day to day living.

Join groups, find a hobby, maybe ask that girl or boy out that you've had your eye on outside in the real world.

Imo when the internet starts to make you crazy it's time to walk away.

(in reply to honeygirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 2:13:53 PM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aanakaris

I seem to be a magnet for spammers and fake profiles. Honestly I've won the Nigerian lottery so many times I'm actually thinking about entering. I tried putting some warnings on my profile, but since the spammers don't actually read profiles this really has not cut down the fake contacts at all and gives my profile a negative look to any searchers. While spam may be a source of amusement, I've been noticing a subtle change in my behavior. I have started putting every profile I see through a filter that nobody could pass. I'm seeing fakes everywhere, the tiniest thing is throwing me off. Single picture, looks like a model shot, short profile, misspellings, sex with no relationship, etc... These are the easy ones, but I find myself critiquing everything so strongly, if you look for flaws hard enough, they will be found.

I have not contacted anyone in more than a month. There are plenty of great people out there, How do I break this cycle of negativity?

Simple: put in your profile that you have no money, and include a shot of your trailer - that way nobody will contact you.

< Message edited by Amaros -- 9/27/2009 2:14:15 PM >

(in reply to Aanakaris)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 4:01:37 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49


Well I concluded that after calling one of these profiles a “Two bit cock sucking-whore "


Those are terms of endearment from some people  

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 7:06:13 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline 		I don't get any spam from this site, but I get some from other sites.

I put in my ad that a certain word must be included in the subject line of any e-mail to me in order to distinguish it from spam.

And I indicate that all other mail will be deleted unread.

You might try that with your profile if the spam is a problem.

_____________________________

...YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE MY PORK CHOPS!
- - - - - - -
"....(somewhere) therein lies the truthiness..."
~*~*~*~*
http://www.myspace.com/crocusofiron

(in reply to Aanakaris)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 9:26:46 PM   
Aanakaris


Posts: 310
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha

I don't get any spam from this site, but I get some from other sites.

I put in my ad that a certain word must be included in the subject line of any e-mail to me in order to distinguish it from spam.

And I indicate that all other mail will be deleted unread.

You might try that with your profile if the spam is a problem.


That's a really good idea. Simple and effective.

To all the other many posters, thanks for your time, some were useful, some were reiterations of what I already knew. Occasionally the solutions are staring you in the face but the focus is so hard on the problem that those solutions cannot be seen. Just need to relax a little and change my focus.

Guess I will have to earn my millions the hard way, I'll just start with that awesome mortgage offer I just received from Nerfwoot446798III which he says will not only have -10% interest but will make my penis bigger while giving me an all access pass to the Playboy mansion. Now to just send him my SSN and credit card info...


_____________________________

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
-- Dr. Seuss

(in reply to Jeptha)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/27/2009 11:28:57 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aanakaris

I tried putting some warnings on my profile, but since the spammers don't actually read profiles this really has not cut down the fake contacts at all and gives my profile a negative look to any searchers.

Um, yeah. That's about as fruitful a decision as hanging a "No Junk Mail!" sign on your mailbox.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aanakaris

While spam may be a source of amusement, I've been noticing a subtle change in my behavior. I have started putting every profile I see through a filter that nobody could pass. I'm seeing fakes everywhere, the tiniest thing is throwing me off. Single picture, looks like a model shot, short profile, misspellings, sex with no relationship, etc... These are the easy ones, but I find myself critiquing everything so strongly, if you look for flaws hard enough, they will be found.

I have not contacted anyone in more than a month. There are plenty of great people out there, How do I break this cycle of negativity?


Don't invest more expectation than necessary until you have communication going with the individual over several mediums? Have you never filled out applications for colleges? Jobs? Loans?

All you really are dealing with is dead ends, no matter what they look like. And those are a part of life. If this has gotten you down into the negativity department, what are you going to do when you do get in touch with multiple real people but none of them end up panning out?


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Aanakaris)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/28/2009 10:45:15 AM   
bliss4us09


Posts: 106
Joined: 3/31/2009
Status: offline 		Most of gold ore is not gold. Be persistent in contacting people that meet whatever criteria you have established, and be patient in sorting through those who reply.
Sounds overly simple, perhaps - but it works.

(in reply to Aanakaris)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Breaking the cycle of negativity - 9/29/2009 10:04:33 PM   
Aanakaris


Posts: 310
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		I made a few changes to my profile and will start snooping around and see what I can find. The only way to break the cycle is to get off my butt and break the cycle.

_____________________________

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
-- Dr. Seuss

(in reply to bliss4us09)
Profile   Post #: 20
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