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ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Submissives, how have you felt about decisions that have been made that limited your ability to work on causes or capacities you felt strongly about?  Have you ever felt there was a conflict between needing to serve others in such ways that brought along attendant risk and the care and protection your dominant partner insisted upon?

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet
my very nature leads me into harm's way quite frequently.  My most recent absence from the boards was an example of that.  I won't go into detail, but I knew things were going to be tense and specifically gave him all the information I knew and asked him if he approved of me going.  I told him I would abide by his decision.  He knew it meant a great deal to me, so he gave his blessing and I went.  It was wonderful.  It was horrible.  I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

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ORIGINAL: ranja

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet
my very nature leads me into harm's way quite frequently.  My most recent absence from the boards was an example of that.  I won't go into detail, but I knew things were going to be tense and specifically gave him all the information I knew and asked him if he approved of me going.  I told him I would abide by his decision.  He knew it meant a great deal to me, so he gave his blessing and I went.  It was wonderful.  It was horrible.  I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

i'm all for having details really

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I have always been on for taking care of people regardless of the conditions. That is a detailed as detailed gets. 

lovingpet

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ORIGINAL: ranja

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I have always been on for taking care of people regardless of the conditions. That is a detailed as detailed gets. 

lovingpet

caring for people surely is not so dangerous... the mind boggles as to what the conditions were...
an elderly couple perched on the top branche of an elm tree?
or did you have to help free a child who got itself stuck halfway up a chimney? Or maybe a fire spitting lunatic needed his toe nails cutting?

as you can see i am in serious need of details

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ORIGINAL: bliss4us09

I think your partner handled it well, apparently keeping in mind your fulfillment as well as your safety. That kind of communication is the best way to achieve the balance you asked about.

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Generally speaking, many of us here are very passionate people.  This is not just a sexual thing, but an overall response to life.  I am one of those.  I am a passionate person and I am constantly insisting on getting down and dirty in life.  I have to roll up my sleeves and do, rather than stand by or passively supporting the efforts of others.  There are so many roles people can play out there to effect change and help those areas that concern us.  I am just one who simply must go in deep for myself.

I also happen to have a dominant partner.  This person is very protective of me and does not take well to people or circumstances placing me in a harmful or dangerous situation.  I absolutely adore that!  On the other hand, however, my very nature leads me into harm's way quite frequently.  My most recent absence from the boards was an example of that.  I won't go into detail, but I knew things were going to be tense and specifically gave him all the information I knew and asked him if he approved of me going.  I told him I would abide by his decision.  He knew it meant a great deal to me, so he gave his blessing and I went.  It was wonderful.  It was horrible.  I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

I am interested to hear how others balance such things.  A dominant is more apt to determine for themselves how much risk is acceptable for them and still within the best interest of their partner and the relationship as a whole.  The submissive, on the other hand, can be quite limited in what is seen as an acceptable and appropriate risk to the dominant's property.  The balancing act between protection and stifling the passionate spirit of the submissive might well be an elusive one.  It become even more so the more extreme and hands on those passions are.

Dominants, how do you walk this line to keep your submissive both protected AND fulfilled?  Have you run into difficulty doing this when you know that there is a significant risk of harm?

Submissives, how have you felt about decisions that have been made that limited your ability to work on causes or capacities you felt strongly about?  Have you ever felt there was a conflict between needing to serve others in such ways that brought along attendant risk and the care and protection your dominant partner insisted upon?

I can honestly say that as much as I want my only passion to be my dominant partner that there is so much more to me as a person and to my character than just this part of my life.  That may make me less than in some peoples' eyes, but it is nonetheless who I am and my partner and I wouldn't have me be any other way.  Learning how to work with that tender, passionate heart of mine is a curve we are both enjoying and yet it brings the occasional tension.  He wants what is best for me.  Deciding what that is isn't always as easy and clear cut as it seems.  I guess that is always how it is when the choices are between good, better, and best. 

Thanks!

lovingpet

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet
Dominants, how do you walk this line to keep your submissive both protected AND fulfilled?  Have you run into difficulty doing this when you know that there is a significant risk of harm?

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ORIGINAL: leadership527

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet
Dominants, how do you walk this line to keep your submissive both protected AND fulfilled?  Have you run into difficulty doing this when you know that there is a significant risk of harm?

Actually, for me the problem isn't ensuring she is fulfilled. Carol is not a natural thrill seeker. For her, the problem is making sure I do not allow her to become TOO safe. She can become weak when allowed to live completely without risk. She needs to face her fears now and again.

Insofar as situations where there is "significant risk of harm", I would never allow her to be in a situation wherein I thought she was truly in peril. Smaller amounts of harm fall into the "that which does not kill you makes you stronger" category and I have no problem allowing those. I understand the concept of "tough love". Hardest for me is the harm I cause her myself. Sometimes the commands I give her are not pleasant for her. I've also come to accept that as reasonable and necessary for preserving balance in our marriage.