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Cornfuzzled and ranting... - 9/28/2009 6:53:38 PM   
learning2sub


Posts: 68
Joined: 8/12/2009
Status: offline
So yeah... I'm new.  New to the lifestyle and new to CM.

I met an amazing woman who had been guiding me a bit and who introduced me to a friend of hers.  He seemed interested despite the fact he's younger than myself, however, I knew he had an interest in my friend at one point.  Despite her insistence of never being interested in the guy, it still made me wonder after comments she'd made about him wanting to meet up with her.

When the two of them were recently talking while I was talking to him (online) he bailed on me so he could finish the intense conversation they were having - meanwhile telling me he was "simply tired" instead of saying he was talking with her.  Everything imploded and he disappeared. He came back but during the interim, I had a falling out with my friend.  I asked her not to push me about what I was feeling because I was still sorting it out the hurricane of emotions going on in my head but she kept at me.  The result was me accusing her of leading him on, among other things.  A good part of my anger stemmed from a past experience that was similar.  I know this now.  In the heat of the moment... I let the emotion take me.

I have humbly asked her for forgiveness (a couple times) however, I think the damage has been done.  I truly wish I would've just walked away and thought about where the fears were coming from instead of letting my mouth fly with what I thought might be true.

As far as the guy goes... well... he kept telling me he wanted to meet (we are within driving distance of each other), he talked about meeting me this past weekend but then simply disappeared again after going so far as telling me he'd be in touch about when we would meet.  I sent a couple messages and left a voice mail - even saw him online - but he refused to respond.  I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Asked if he could just send a message if the meet wasn't possible and I'd be fine with it but, no response.  I actually find his behavior rather disrespectful and rude but maybe I'm wrong...

I'm left a bit disenchanted and melancholy.

Just don't like uncomfortable stuff like this.... thanks for letting me rant.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Cornfuzzled and ranting... - 9/28/2009 7:04:38 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline
Sounds like you're human. And also pretty good at figuring things out about yourself. Should you damn yourself for how long it takes you to understand your emotions and reasoning? No. Did you speak too soon? Maybe. You responded before you were ready when pressed. We have all done that.

Forgive yourself. I think its great that you know yourself as well as you do. You are to be applauded. You will find other friends and lovers. Don't fret. You didn't lose out on the love of your life. Believe it. 

(in reply to learning2sub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Cornfuzzled and ranting... - 9/28/2009 7:05:53 PM   
learning2sub


Posts: 68
Joined: 8/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

Sounds like you're human. And also pretty good at figuring things out about yourself. Should you damn yourself for how long it takes you to understand your emotions and reasoning? No. Did you speak too soon? Maybe. You responded before you were ready when pressed. We have all done that.

Forgive yourself. I think its great that you know yourself as well as you do. You are to be applauded. You will find other friends and lovers. Don't fret. You didn't lose out on the love of your life. Believe it. 


Thank you... I appreciate that. :)

(in reply to sophia37)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Cornfuzzled and ranting... - 9/29/2009 5:29:51 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: learning2sub

So yeah... I'm new.  New to the lifestyle and new to CM.

I met an amazing woman who had been guiding me a bit and who introduced me to a friend of hers.  He seemed interested despite the fact he's younger than myself, however, I knew he had an interest in my friend at one point.  Despite her insistence of never being interested in the guy, it still made me wonder after comments she'd made about him wanting to meet up with her.

When the two of them were recently talking while I was talking to him (online) he bailed on me so he could finish the intense conversation they were having - meanwhile telling me he was "simply tired" instead of saying he was talking with her.  Everything imploded and he disappeared. He came back but during the interim, I had a falling out with my friend.  I asked her not to push me about what I was feeling because I was still sorting it out the hurricane of emotions going on in my head but she kept at me.  The result was me accusing her of leading him on, among other things.  A good part of my anger stemmed from a past experience that was similar.  I know this now.  In the heat of the moment... I let the emotion take me.

I have humbly asked her for forgiveness (a couple times) however, I think the damage has been done.  I truly wish I would've just walked away and thought about where the fears were coming from instead of letting my mouth fly with what I thought might be true.

As far as the guy goes... well... he kept telling me he wanted to meet (we are within driving distance of each other), he talked about meeting me this past weekend but then simply disappeared again after going so far as telling me he'd be in touch about when we would meet.  I sent a couple messages and left a voice mail - even saw him online - but he refused to respond.  I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Asked if he could just send a message if the meet wasn't possible and I'd be fine with it but, no response.  I actually find his behavior rather disrespectful and rude but maybe I'm wrong...

I'm left a bit disenchanted and melancholy.

Just don't like uncomfortable stuff like this.... thanks for letting me rant.



You met a couple of losers and you will probably meet alot more



_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to learning2sub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Cornfuzzled and ranting... - 9/29/2009 5:57:33 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
That's the sort of stuff that happens online.  Sorry, but expect more of the same in the future....

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Cornfuzzled and ranting... - 9/29/2009 7:11:04 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
People frequently date a couple of times and then decide they don't want to do it again. This is just the online version of that.

And if you were getting the feeling that she was getting jealous of you getting close to him, and interfered in that, trust your gut. That isn't at all uncommon. Search for all male dominant profiles in your area, read through and write the ones that interest you. Don't ask her to find you someone. Or go to a munch in your area and see if you meet someone. Just like regular type peeps searching for a possible partner.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Cornfuzzled and ranting... - 9/29/2009 3:46:09 PM   
learning2sub


Posts: 68
Joined: 8/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

People frequently date a couple of times and then decide they don't want to do it again. This is just the online version of that.

And if you were getting the feeling that she was getting jealous of you getting close to him, and interfered in that, trust your gut. That isn't at all uncommon. Search for all male dominant profiles in your area, read through and write the ones that interest you. Don't ask her to find you someone. Or go to a munch in your area and see if you meet someone. Just like regular type peeps searching for a possible partner.


I do not believe she was jealous at all.  She wanted both of us to be happy.  I completely misread the situation which was fueled by reflections from my past, unfortunately.  I would love to have her friendship back.  I do not think him a bad person either, he just has things he needs to address within himself (in my opinion).

I live in a very small city.  Male Dominants are slim pickings.  There are a few munches in the area, however, I've heard some rather bad stories about the attitudes there and was told I should travel to Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Nashville or further if I want to find quality people.

I am working with a Dom at the current time, however, he is not interested in anything more than play and is poly (he has 2 other subs).  Though he is a wonderful teacher, I seek a deeper relationship.

Thank you for sharing.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Cornfuzzled and ranting... - 9/29/2009 3:50:28 PM   
learning2sub


Posts: 68
Joined: 8/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49


quote:

ORIGINAL: learning2sub

So yeah... I'm new.  New to the lifestyle and new to CM.

I met an amazing woman who had been guiding me a bit and who introduced me to a friend of hers.  He seemed interested despite the fact he's younger than myself, however, I knew he had an interest in my friend at one point.  Despite her insistence of never being interested in the guy, it still made me wonder after comments she'd made about him wanting to meet up with her.

When the two of them were recently talking while I was talking to him (online) he bailed on me so he could finish the intense conversation they were having - meanwhile telling me he was "simply tired" instead of saying he was talking with her.  Everything imploded and he disappeared. He came back but during the interim, I had a falling out with my friend.  I asked her not to push me about what I was feeling because I was still sorting it out the hurricane of emotions going on in my head but she kept at me.  The result was me accusing her of leading him on, among other things.  A good part of my anger stemmed from a past experience that was similar.  I know this now.  In the heat of the moment... I let the emotion take me.

I have humbly asked her for forgiveness (a couple times) however, I think the damage has been done.  I truly wish I would've just walked away and thought about where the fears were coming from instead of letting my mouth fly with what I thought might be true.

As far as the guy goes... well... he kept telling me he wanted to meet (we are within driving distance of each other), he talked about meeting me this past weekend but then simply disappeared again after going so far as telling me he'd be in touch about when we would meet.  I sent a couple messages and left a voice mail - even saw him online - but he refused to respond.  I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Asked if he could just send a message if the meet wasn't possible and I'd be fine with it but, no response.  I actually find his behavior rather disrespectful and rude but maybe I'm wrong...

I'm left a bit disenchanted and melancholy.

Just don't like uncomfortable stuff like this.... thanks for letting me rant.



You met a couple of losers and you will probably meet alot more




I do not believe either of them to be losers.  I miss my friend very much.  As for the Dom... he has much to sort out.

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Cornfuzzled and ranting... - 9/29/2009 4:09:24 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
Online can be hard to turn into real- no matter how great all the factors are.

(in reply to learning2sub)
Profile   Post #: 9
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