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finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 12:12:26 PM

Urs2Adore

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/11/2009
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I am having a problem with finding a bi woman sub/slave. I would like it to turn into a 24/7 situation. I don't know if it is because of my profile. Any input would be helpful.

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 12:21:47 PM

Seductor

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Joined: 3/22/2007
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Welcome to the flaky world of collarme. Many here are nigerian or ghanian scammers, or want relocation money (yasure). They are either deaf, mute, being sold by an evil owner.. the excuses and BS stories are limitless. I truly wish you achieve a better result than I have. I have even chatted with some of them on yahoo messenger, and one flat out ADMITTED he was an african guy, and tried to hire me! (He was VERY pissed off when I refused.. lol). I'll get flamed for being so honest here, but I am a WYSIWYG kinda guy.
Hint: NEVER trust someone using substandard or nonstandard English. "I am (name inserted here) by name" should be a dead giveaway, for example. WHO THE HELL from ANY part of the western world who speaks English as a native language says that?? No one!

< Message edited by Seductor -- 10/2/2009 12:28:59 PM >

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 12:24:06 PM

fadedshadow

Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
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good luck and be careful

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 12:24:57 PM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
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How about taking them for coffee first? You gotta get to know 'em BEFORE they move in and cater to your every whim. This is your first post. How long have you been looking??

Welcome to the boards!

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 12:26:07 PM

Urs2Adore

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Joined: 9/11/2009
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Thanks for the input....I will keep my guard up

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 12:32:59 PM

Urs2Adore

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Joined: 9/11/2009
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I have been on other sites looking for about 2 months. No luck so far. I am more than willing to take time with a sub and would never move someone in with me until I knew them VERY will and they can accept the training I would give them with a smile on their face.

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 12:47:14 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Urs2Adore

until I knew them VERY will and they can accept the training I would give them with a smile on their face.

That ain't never gonna happen without superglue and ductape, sooner or later they pout about something or another.

Ron

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 2:37:05 PM

BeIgnited

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
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You're looking for what is commonly referred to as a "unicorn." Couples spend years looking for a bi female submissive--you've been looking for a couple months.

You're competing with a lot of other couples, so you have to consider what you can offer to this girl that other couples can't. As it stands your profile doesn't mention your partner at all or what role he (I'm assuming this is the Domme half posting here, apologies if I'm wrong) would play in the dynamic or the girl's training. The profile tells little about you as a person or the type of reality someone joining your relationship could expect, and comes off to me as very harsh (two mistakes and she's out? ouch.).

Have you considered using other venues than the internet to find your one? You might also want to check out the poly board on here--lots of good information.

Good luck.

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 2:37:54 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
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It can take single Doms/Dommes years to find a suitable sub or slave. You have been looking only 2 months. Many are not bisexual, which also limits the pool from which to find her.

Patience is needed, good luck in your search.

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 4:51:31 PM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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I looked at your profile. It's a couples profile but the woman is the only one described. What role will the man play? Also, the whole profile says "You will do what I want when I want it." I get no idea what the woman's life will be like living with you. Will she be expected to serve sexually? Domestically? Does she get rewarded for a job well done?

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 5:11:09 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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The profile is dreadful, it describes only half the couple. It talks only about kink. So why does she need more than a three word vocabulary when you are apparently not offering friendship - because there's no mention of it, nonkink activities like going on movie dates - because there's no mention of it, and so on.

It also doesn't offer anything to this woman. She gets to do what you want, but how are her needs to be met? Judging by the profile they won't be.

Now even if you fix all this, realize that the bi fem third is a unicorn, sought after by everybody. So with all those choices what makes a relationship with you more appealing than her being a primary with someone else?

Your best bet is to meet people in your local community. If an unattached female becomes friends with both of you, and meshes well with both of you, that's the most likely way to have a harmonious poly relationship. I also don't know how long you've been looking. Did you meet your spouse on your first date in middle school or did you date for 15 years before you found the right one? A third is even harder to find so don't expect it immediately.

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 10:15:55 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Seductor

Welcome to the flaky world of collarme. Many here are nigerian or ghanian scammers, or want relocation money (yasure). They are either deaf, mute, being sold by an evil owner.. the excuses and BS stories are limitless. I truly wish you achieve a better result than I have. I have even chatted with some of them on yahoo messenger, and one flat out ADMITTED he was an african guy, and tried to hire me! (He was VERY pissed off when I refused.. lol). I'll get flamed for being so honest here, but I am a WYSIWYG kinda guy.
Hint: NEVER trust someone using substandard or nonstandard English. "I am (name inserted here) by name" should be a dead giveaway, for example. WHO THE HELL from ANY part of the western world who speaks English as a native language says that?? No one!

wow... cynical much?

There are more countries that DO NOT speak ENglish as a native language in the Western world than not. We have several posters who participate regularly here who sometimes mangle ENglish, but that in no way makes them scammers. Perhaps you ought to consider not looking at the latex barbie profiles for potential contacts. And "I am (insert name) by name" isn't improper. More formal than normal, but not improper.

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/2/2009 10:39:00 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

The profile is dreadful, it describes only half the couple. It talks only about kink. So why does she need more than a three word vocabulary when you are apparently not offering friendship - because there's no mention of it, nonkink activities like going on movie dates - because there's no mention of it, and so on.

It also doesn't offer anything to this woman. She gets to do what you want, but how are her needs to be met? Judging by the profile they won't be.

Now even if you fix all this, realize that the bi fem third is a unicorn, sought after by everybody. So with all those choices what makes a relationship with you more appealing than her being a primary with someone else?

This. Thanks for saving me the typing, Des!

OP- please reread the part about unicorns and the fact that many couples search for years to find a third.

quote:

Welcome to the flaky world of collarme. Many here are nigerian or ghanian scammers, or want relocation money (yasure). They are either deaf, mute, being sold by an evil owner.. the excuses and BS stories are limitless. I truly wish you achieve a better result than I have.

Wow, with that attitude, the barely 2 paragraphs in your profile, and the twentysomething nymphettes on your friends list, its shocking that you haven't met anyone real here....

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 10/2/2009 10:40:58 PM >

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/3/2009 4:17:27 AM

choccywoc

Posts: 1919
Joined: 9/7/2009
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Regarding the words of Seductor, i've received a mail from a submissive
female, with an impossibly sexy photograph, in a language barely resembling
english, asking for finance.

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/3/2009 7:00:48 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Choc, that is a scam. But it doesn't mean that every woman who turns a guy down is, and unfortunately that's what we mostly get called.

Hell, I get called it and my profile clearly states I'm not available.

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/3/2009 8:00:31 AM

choccywoc

Posts: 1919
Joined: 9/7/2009
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DesFIP, in only a short time at collarme, i've found quite a few
advertisers, who use bad english but i just put this down to
their being in a hurry to post. Guess i'm going to have to be
a lot more careful in future.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/3/2009 8:50:01 AM

Urs2Adore

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/11/2009
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Thank you for all the posts, I will be changing my profile. We are a couple and he does not participate in BDSM, so I didn't think it was important to put his info in the profile. I was wrong and am learning. I understand it will take a while to invite someone into our home to be a part of us. Thanks for all the advise.

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/3/2009 8:51:32 AM

DaddyM47

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/11/2009
Status: offline

Somehow that just doesn't surprise me in the least..I'm tired of seeing messages to me that say "cus" , I like what you say cus I'm the same way. That say's Nigeria, or Ghana and I'm not interested in them at all. PERIOD. I don't like being scammed and lied to from the very beginning. Be who you are. I am!

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/9/2009 4:33:07 AM

JustStephen

Posts: 61
Joined: 4/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Urs2Adore

Thank you for all the posts, I will be changing my profile. We are a couple and he does not participate in BDSM, so I didn't think it was important to put his info in the profile. I was wrong and am learning. I understand it will take a while to invite someone into our home to be a part of us. Thanks for all the advise.

Hi Urs2Adore

I take it your profile has changed since the initial post because but can I point out a few things.
You don't state on your profile that your other half is not into BDSM and yet it appears that you still want him to be part of it. I wouldn't worry about putting this in but I think its very necessary that you do. It also sounds a bit swingerish and perhaps needs to be more focused on leadership and sadomasochism.
Your profile now gives the impression that you are looking for a bi female with potential to become a slave rather than a ready made one! Ready made slaves/subs are fantasy chasers but potential slaves/subs are genuine women that want to travel the slave/sub route with the right person/people.
I sometimes read the odd profile from a 'wanting to be Dominant' that states how things are going to be before he's even so much as touched base with someone. A man such as that screams of a condition called 'fantasy syndrome'.

Maria on Stephens profile!!

< Message edited by JustStephen -- 10/9/2009 4:34:06 AM >

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RE: finding a sub/slave - 10/9/2009 9:09:52 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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He doesnt participate in BDSM? I am unsure of what you want from the sub/slave in regards to your non participating husband. Do you plan to dominate her into sexual relations with him?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Urs2Adore

Thank you for all the posts, I will be changing my profile. We are a couple and he does not participate in BDSM, so I didn't think it was important to put his info in the profile. I was wrong and am learning. I understand it will take a while to invite someone into our home to be a part of us. Thanks for all the advise.

(in reply to Urs2Adore)

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