ShaktiSama
Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Wheldrake Not having made myself into a work of visual art, I suspect that I’m personally more appealing to women who fall into this second category, but that doesn’t mean I have a problem with women who have more of a propensity for eye candy. And since you’ve now made it clear that you have in mind a concept of beauty that isn’t simple or straightforward (again, I’m sorry about having initially misunderstood, but you did talk a lot about clothing and haircuts), it’s close to being a moot point in any case. Actually, I mentioned clothing and haircuts for a reason, and contrary to what you seem to both believe and imply, these things are NOT simply the paraphenalia of the shallow. They are a valid form of communication which a man is very wise to master, if he wants to attract women. It comes down to a simple concept: presentation. Ask any master chef and they will tell you that this is an important component of the meal, and not something that you can simply dismiss and ignore because you've managed to whip up a decent sauce and you use fresh ingredients. The most beautiful, tasty, skillfully prepared dish in the world will still cause potential diners to turn up their noses in disgust and never take a single bite, if you slop it onto a plate so clumsily that it looks like shit. If you go to the trouble of preparing a gourmet meal, it is simply counter-productive not to have it presented well and served by someone wearing a clean shirt. What people who like to consider themselves "deep" and "non-superficial" tend to ignore is that clothing and haircuts are important sexual signals. Even among less sophisticated primates, good grooming is essential--it's a sign of mental, physical and social well-being. When you invest a bit of effort in self-care and self-presentation, you're telling the world that you are ok in many ways, and a person of value to himself and others. Why on earth would anyone think it was wisest to say otherwise? As a human, if you can't be bothered to get your hair cut to suit you or dress yourself half decently, you're no "deeper" and "more substantial" than a person who sends an email full of spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. The clear message that you send to others with a badly spelled email (at least, when English is your mother tongue) is "I don't have enough self-respect to learn to communicate clearly, and I don't care enough about YOU to try and make a good first impression on you." It's more than possible for a man to send the same messages with his clothes and his attitude that he does with bad spelling and grammar: and that message is "Frankly, Scah-let, I don't give a damn." All very macho, to be sure, but not real attractive. To me, at least. Personally, I had three older brothers when I was growing up, and I saw each and every one of them go through the same ritual before they were meeting a woman who mattered to them. They showered, they picked their clothes as carefully as they could--sometimes trying on a few different shirts and yelling at whoever had stolen the good one. They shaved, they combed their hair, they put on male jewelry and their best boots and hat--whatever was appropriate to the situation. Whether it was just a dance at the grange hall or your wedding day, they were clear that a man who wants a woman, and RESPECTS a woman, makes an effort to please her with his appearance. It's not a substitute for being a man of substance, but it's a sign of desire to please that most women respond to very well. Ultimately, I consider the work a submissive man does on his "whole package" to be a thing he does both for my benefit and because he is mine. I don't like my house to be surrounded by a mangy lawn full of rusting automobile wrecks, I don't like my animals to look like no one has given them a bath or brushed their fur since the day they were born, and I don't like my men to look like Schubbly McSchlubbin. *shrug* I guess the thing we do around here is "call it a quirk of my personality".
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"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein
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