Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (Full Version)

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lilboycaught -> Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:17:12 PM)

Sorry.  Thought I posted this but it didn't show up.  And I know the title is provocative.  And I also know there definitely ARE dominant females on CM.

But most of the "dominant" females who have contacted me or who I've contacted just wanted money or wanted me to join a web site which, I suspect, they were paid on comission to recruit members for.

So it brings up the question.  Are us sub males really unappealing?  Do women just not want us?

I'd rather live in reality than fantasy.  I can always jack off over a fantasy, but reality is something I have to live with 24/7.  Please be honest.




antipode -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:19:53 PM)

quote:

And I know the title is provocative


Like, how? What the title screams is that you can't find any, and that that frustrates you. It reminds me mostly of somebody shouting "timber!!" in the subway.




Lockit -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:23:09 PM)

You have posted this in a couple places that I know of and one will most likely disappear.




peppermint -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:29:15 PM)

There are Dommes who are just what you are seeking.  However, you would do better to go to munches and attend events rather than rely only on the internet to find you that Domme.  Let's face cold hard facts.  Up to 90% of those online are not what they say they are.  When you go to an event, that percentage is close to 0. 

You have summers off.  Plan some vacation time and hit as many munches and events as you can.  Make friends even if they can't be your Domme.  Networking does work.  If you don't want to be outed in your own city, attend events and munches in another city.  I know people who do that and it does work.  I'm a good example.  I went to an event that was about 80 miles from my home.  I met a Dominant who had traveled 550 miles to be there.  We hit it off.  We have now been 24/7 for nearly 4 years. 

Good luck. 




lilboycaught -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:32:06 PM)

Thanks.  You've both answered my question.  I'm wasting my time.  I knew it.  I'm just another loser sub guy on CM that women/men-who-pretend-to-be-women try to exploit for cash.

That's about all we're worth.

And reality sucks, but I'd rather know what it is than be in denial.




Amaros -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:35:48 PM)

You're kidding me right? Maybe it's just me, but I've never been able to avoid them, I seem to attract them in fact - some people just call them bossy bitches.

Naturally, this site attracts pro-dommes with tribute fantasies the same way it attracts guys looking for no strings attached recreational sex on demand.

Human nature my friend, human nature.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of dominant women don't realize they are, and have never given any thought as to doing it as a formal thing.




Lockit -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:36:11 PM)

Your attitude sucks. Poor meeeeee... the fault must be in the pretend people. If they can't give me what I want... and you did say you wanted honesty... now everyone is all fucked up... or still fucked up and it isn't your attitude. Yeah... okay... try selling that with a bridge in NY.




Wolf2Bear -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:36:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilboycaught

Thanks.  You've both answered my question.  I'm wasting my time.  I knew it.  I'm just another loser sub guy on CM that women/men-who-pretend-to-be-women try to exploit for cash.

That's about all we're worth.

And reality sucks, but I'd rather know what it is than be in denial.


Suck it up buttercup. Look...you want to find a female dominant for yourself, try proving to a potential dom that you are extra special and worth her time to seriously consider you as hers. Hell, the prime complaint to most women here are subbie men who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. Weed out the pros, talk to the remaining ones person to person before declaring your undying submission.




lilboycaught -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:38:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Your attitude sucks. Poor meeeeee... the fault must be in the pretend people. If they can't give me what I want... and you did say you wanted honesty... now everyone is all fucked up... or still fucked up and it isn't your attitude. Yeah... okay... try selling that with a bridge in NY.


Agreed.  My attitude sucks.  But it comes from experience.




MsLadySue -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:38:30 PM)



Sounds like you don't want to put any effort into your search. So you write a so-so profile and negative journals thinking you will find your Domme. If you plan to rely on an internet search to find your One, you're going to wait a long time.




dreamerdreaming -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:40:08 PM)

OP, according to your journal you've not been seeking a female for very long. (Just this year, maybe?)

Give it time.
 
I'm a weal, twue domme.   *bats eyelashes demurely*

I also do make it over to your neck of the woods (Kansas City) from time to time. I was there this summer, for example. And I might be passing through this month or next, as well. But I'm not seeking a new slaveboy.

I do like that once you get to the starting thread of the post, its far more well thought out than most- we get a lot of these threads... But the title of the thread seems like a whiny complaint- so be ready for the flames.


Edited to add: Wow. I see the flames preceeded me. I'm watching a really cool 1956 space invasion movie, so I took a while getting this posted.




lilboycaught -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:41:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilboycaught

Thanks.  You've both answered my question.  I'm wasting my time.  I knew it.  I'm just another loser sub guy on CM that women/men-who-pretend-to-be-women try to exploit for cash.

That's about all we're worth.

And reality sucks, but I'd rather know what it is than be in denial.


Suck it up buttercup. Look...you want to find a female dominant for yourself, try proving to a potential dom that you are extra special and worth her time to seriously consider you as hers. Hell, the prime complaint to most women here are subbie men who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground. Weed out the pros, talk to the remaining ones person to person before declaring your undying submission.


Your response in very logical.  I'm just having a bad day and I'm feeling extremely unwanted.




shannie -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:42:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

You're kidding me right? Maybe it's just me, but I've never been able to avoid them, I seem to attract them in fact - some people just call them bossy bitches.

Naturally, this site attracts pro-dommes with tribute fantasies the same way it attracts guys looking for no strings attached recreational sex on demand.

Human nature my friend, human nature.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of dominant women don't realize they are, and have never given any thought as to doing it as a formal thing.



That's so true.  Look at any vanilla marriage! (My grandmother comes to mind, giggles...) 




Lockit -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:43:07 PM)

Maybe it is more like... I will act a naughty, spoiled, demanding little boy and they will all give me a cyber spanking. I didn't tolerate that with children and I sure as hell wouldn't with an adult with the educational and experience background you have. Got game?




Amaros -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:44:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shannie

That's so true.  Look at any vanilla marriage! (My grandmother comes to mind, giggles...) 



I was gonna add - some people call them "wives", lol.




LadyNTrainer -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:44:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilboycaught
So it brings up the question.  Are us sub males really unappealing?  Do women just not want us?


Many, if not most, males are unappealing to an individual female.  We're picky, neh?  Your chances of clicking with a specific female based ONLY on a common interest in D/s are low to zero.  If for instance you're a big sports fan and prefer beer, meat and potatoes on the table, and she's a gourmet wine snob who hates sports, there is not a lot of relationship potential or even interesting conversation potential here.  If she's a hardcore gamer geek and you think D&D is for wimps and losers, or you don't know who Cthulhu is, same story.  Fundamentally D/s is still about human relationships, even if you add tight black leather and whips to the equation.  You can't substitute porno movie logic for how human relationships work in real life.


quote:

I'd rather live in reality than fantasy.  I can always jack off over a fantasy, but reality is something I have to live with 24/7.  Please be honest.


That's the first step, really.  Dominant females are *real people*, not cardboard cut-out images from a fetish magazine.  If you treat us like real people and approach relationships with us with the understanding that we are human beings and not drive through McDomme's that exist for your kinky gratification, it's a very positive start. 

If all the dommes you've approached have turned out to be pros, it suggests that you're targeting professional profiles.  If you're only contacting women with magazine quality photos who advertise blatantly that they want kinky sex, well, guess what you're finding.  Try chatting sociably and nicely with women whose profiles seem a little more down to earth and realistic, and you won't be playing into the hands of the stealth pros. 




lilboycaught -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:44:47 PM)

And ladies, I'm sorry if I'm the stereotype whining submissive.  You're correct to call me that.




Lockit -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:46:33 PM)

LOL... you are playing this game far too well.




lovingpet -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:48:39 PM)

I am not in an energetic mood today, but my guess is it has far more to do with how you are presenting yourself than speaking to what the dominant women on this site feel about sub men. I happen to think good sub men are wonderful, but then again it doesn't matter to me their orientation. Good people will catch my attention and my affections rather easily. Sub men deal with a lot of crap trying to find partners. We all do (or can, I really haven't LOL). I can't imagine being bombarded with expectations of money at every turn, but it is the reality of the sub male's search online.

You state you are more interested in real life, so have you considered going out into real time lifestyle fora? Munches, public dungeons, conferences, and classes are all great resources for you. You can make so many great contacts and get to know people in real time and space beyond what they can put in a little box on a screen. It really does seem you would enjoy your search much better in these real time venues than what you experience online. Best of luck!

lovingpet




MsLadySue -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:48:58 PM)

Lockit, I'm beginning to think he's getting off on our negative comments, just like the little boy he claims to be.




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