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LadyNTrainer -> RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? (10/4/2009 12:44:38 PM)
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ORIGINAL: lilboycaught
So it brings up the question. Are us sub males really unappealing? Do women just not want us?
Many, if not most, males are unappealing to an individual female. We're picky, neh? Your chances of clicking with a specific female based ONLY on a common interest in D/s are low to zero. If for instance you're a big sports fan and prefer beer, meat and potatoes on the table, and she's a gourmet wine snob who hates sports, there is not a lot of relationship potential or even interesting conversation potential here. If she's a hardcore gamer geek and you think D&D is for wimps and losers, or you don't know who Cthulhu is, same story. Fundamentally D/s is still about human relationships, even if you add tight black leather and whips to the equation. You can't substitute porno movie logic for how human relationships work in real life.
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I'd rather live in reality than fantasy. I can always jack off over a fantasy, but reality is something I have to live with 24/7. Please be honest.
That's the first step, really. Dominant females are *real people*, not cardboard cut-out images from a fetish magazine. If you treat us like real people and approach relationships with us with the understanding that we are human beings and not drive through McDomme's that exist for your kinky gratification, it's a very positive start.
If all the dommes you've approached have turned out to be pros, it suggests that you're targeting professional profiles. If you're only contacting women with magazine quality photos who advertise blatantly that they want kinky sex, well, guess what you're finding. Try chatting sociably and nicely with women whose profiles seem a little more down to earth and realistic, and you won't be playing into the hands of the stealth pros.
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