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To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/4/2009 12:48:40 PM   
TenderBlade


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/30/2009
Status: offline 		How  you felt when you admitted for the first time about your sexual submissiveness,to a woman..
How did you feel when you went to a dominatrix for the first time..?was it scary?..Is all this submission stuff, in reality as good as we feel in our fantasies
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/4/2009 2:26:40 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You may get more replies if you ask this in Ask a Mistress. More male subs hang out there, than here.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to TenderBlade)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/4/2009 7:56:18 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		I understand that you're trying to be helpful, but since his question is directed toward submissives, and this is clearly the "Ask a Submissive/Slave" forum, I would say that he's in the right place. If he posts his question in the "Ask a Mistress" forum, wouldn't you expect someone to complain that he should have done it here?

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/4/2009 8:00:23 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Why is there an assumption that a sub has gone to a Dominatrix? What about the subs who are not sexually submissive? Lots of assumptions, one short post.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/4/2009 8:10:11 PM   
DVsFox


Posts: 133
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TenderBlade

How  you felt when you admitted for the first time about your sexual submissiveness,to a woman..
How did you feel when you went to a dominatrix for the first time..?was it scary?..Is all this submission stuff, in reality as good as we feel in our fantasies



I've never been to a dominatrix and never had any desire to do so.  I do remember, quite clearly, how I felt the first time I did anything with my Owner...  It wasn't scary at all.  In fact, It was relieving.  I felt like the weight of the world was taken off of my shoulders.  It was powerful.  It was intoxicating.  It was amazing.  To put it simply:  It felt right.  To be a little cliche:  It made me feel complete.  While that may be a cliche, it's incredibly true to what I felt at the time.

Is it as good as my fantasies?  Oh yes.  It's silly to think that fantasies can even hold a candle to the real thing.  That would be like...like...thinking that a picture of a mountain could give you any real idea of what it would be like to climb it.  My fantasies were like eating food with no taste.  My fantasies were nothing but faint shadows of the real thing.

My Owner is far, far beyond my wildest, most romantic fantasies. :-)

DV's Fox


(in reply to TenderBlade)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/5/2009 10:27:56 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

I understand that you're trying to be helpful, but since his question is directed toward submissives, and this is clearly the "Ask a Submissive/Slave" forum, I would say that he's in the right place. If he posts his question in the "Ask a Mistress" forum, wouldn't you expect someone to complain that he should have done it here?


His post had been up for hours without a response. I thought he might get more responses and thus offered my suggestion. I felt bad for the guy asking a question and getting zero responses.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/5/2009 12:15:55 PM   
ChampagneMojito


Posts: 77
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		I don't think i ever admitted my submissive tendancies to anyone. It was a course i followed myself. By using the word "admit" makes it sound more like a problem or an embarrassment. For me it was just learning more about myself.

Now approaching a domme, was both scary and exciting, as are most new experiences. They are bound to be when you just cant know what is going to happen.

With regard to fantasy, that will really depend on who you speak with. For some their whole concept of BDSM might be based on pornography they have seen, they will have a very definite vision of what consititutes a domme. For others it might be a mental or spiritual thing.

For me the reality is far richer and more fulfilling than I could ever have imagined, but I'm equally sure for others it will have been a disappointment. The trick is to find out for yourself

_____________________________

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin

(in reply to TenderBlade)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/5/2009 12:23:01 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

I understand that you're trying to be helpful, but since his question is directed toward submissives, and this is clearly the "Ask a Submissive/Slave" forum, I would say that he's in the right place. If he posts his question in the "Ask a Mistress" forum, wouldn't you expect someone to complain that he should have done it here?


His post had been up for hours without a response. I thought he might get more responses and thus offered my suggestion. I felt bad for the guy asking a question and getting zero responses.


Understood.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/5/2009 1:18:26 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

Why is there an assumption that a sub has gone to a Dominatrix? What about the subs who are not sexually submissive? Lots of assumptions, one short post.

DV



It looks to me like you're assuming more than the OP does. To me, the most realistic interpretation of his questions is clearly that if you're not sexually submissive, or have never been to a dominatrix, then the question doesn't apply to you, not that he holds a belief that all subs are sexually submissive and have been to dominatrices. You're also making assumptions about what he means by definition of "sexually submissive" and "dominatrix".

With regard to "sexually submissive", things appear a little fuzzy. Even thoug D/s relationships don't always involve sexual activity between dominant and submissive, I'll bet there are damn few male subs for whom the relationship isn't erotically charged in some way. With regard to visiting a dominatrix, it's entirely within reason to assume that all "experienced sub brothers" have been to a dominatrix unless they are gay or bi and have been to a dominant male instead. The original, general definition of "dominatrix" is simply a dominant female; it does not necessarily imply a professional. Some people started using the word to specifically refer to pros, and unfortunately, others have picked up that definition from context, so the "pro" meaning has become more widespread. However, the original broad definition still exists and is still valid.

So

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/5/2009 2:18:39 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I had my first professional session when I was not legally old enough to do so.  I was scared out of my mind.  The session was amateurish, but I knew I was on my way.  First real life relationship involving female domination was with my college girlfriend.  Finding out that a dominatrix can be a girl you meet at school or anywhere else was a real eye opener.  Since then, I have never been in a purely vanilla relationship.  I can tell you that being in a real loving relationship with a dominant woman is the best thing in the world.  I highly recommend it.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to TenderBlade)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/8/2009 1:59:31 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TenderBlade

How  you felt when you admitted for the first time about your sexual submissiveness,to a woman..


I don't think "admitted" is exactly the word - I've never felt ashamed or guilty about my submissiveness. I first started discussing that side of myself with women online, rather than in person, and I found it incredibly liberating. Suddenly I was able to talk freely about an aspect of my personality that I had always kept more or less to myself, and I discovered in the process that there were indeed a lot of other people whose desires were at least in the same ballpark as my own. Basically it was great.

quote:


How did you feel when you went to a dominatrix for the first time..?was it scary?..Is all this submission stuff, in reality as good as we feel in our fantasies


I'll assume, along with hardbodysub, that by "dominatrix" you just mean "dominant woman".

Yes, it was scary, but almost entirely in a good way. I was afraid of her, and of the pain, discomfort and degradation she was going to inflict, but that was a type of fear that excited me. I didn't have to be afraid that she was going to cut my balls off or post full frontal photos of me on her webpage, because I'd been talking to her and submitting to her online for long enough to be 99% sure that she was sane and responsible. So I could enjoy the good fear without worrying about bad fear creeping in.

As for how real-life submission compares to fantasies - more limited, of course, at least if your fantasies are as wide-ranging as mine. But also far more exciting and fulfilling, since you're really in the hands of another person and you don't get to decide what happens next. Even if you hire a professional willing to enact a script, it won't be exactly like what you imagined, but in my experience the real thrills come from suffering through things you could never have expected or anticipated in any case.

(in reply to TenderBlade)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: To all my fellow experienced sub brothers - 10/9/2009 7:37:39 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		it was much more than anything i could have imagined. now that i am a slave to my Mistress it just feels natural like it was supposed to be this way.

(in reply to Wheldrake)
Profile   Post #: 12
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