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I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/6/2009 2:18:36 PM   
Alphascendant


Posts: 285
Status: offline 		Being at odds with the moderator's interpretation of free speech, shouldn't the entire section of Politics & Religion be moved to the Polls and Random Stupidity column? I do have one final question for the submissive females out there, as it was my affection for a special submissive woman that opened the door to CM and it is that same affection that will close it as well. If a man truly is dominant, disciplined, confident and secure with himself, he will conclude that he should not be here, so this question is for her, as I have pretty much lost my sense of humor about anything and not concerned with what your answers will do for me, but what they might do for her


This woman, in her forties, has probably commented in every dating forum known to civilization about the affect her abusive mother had on her, and more than likely will continue to do so whenever she discovers a new outlet. This woman hates her father who is still alive. I am curious is there is another woman out there who hated her father, refusing to ever call him on his birthday or any other holiday, and how did you feel when he died? Did you feel like he got what he deserved, or did you feel remorse? Is there anyone who hated her father but decided at some point to make amends?

We all hear how many women want a man who loves, takes care of, and gets along with his mother, but I have not ever heard it from a man's point of view, concerning a woman and how she treats her father. If she treats her own father like shit doesn't it almost seem guaranteed she will treat her men the same way? Heaven forbid that a man should ever remind her of her real father!

< Message edited by Alphascendant -- 10/6/2009 2:21:21 PM >
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RE: I HATE NY DADDY! - 10/6/2009 2:22:08 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Nope, it don't have to follow. (To the second, I have no comment at this time, on the first.) There may be deep unspoken reasons that may never come to light regarding her hatred for her father, she ain't bitching across the bit bucket about all men, just her father......

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Alphascendant)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/6/2009 3:28:54 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

This woman, in her forties, has probably commented


not your business

(in reply to Alphascendant)
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RE: I HATE NY DADDY! - 10/6/2009 3:36:07 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		i hate and despise my father.  he's abusive in all the ways:  physical, emotional, and sexual.  i cannot see my reflection in the mirror and see what i truly look like because i hear the echoes of "ugly" and "stupid" and "useless".

my father was sexually abusive.  when i finally told my mama, years after it had ended,  she didnt believe me/didnt want to believe me.  unbelievably, when she confronted him, he admitted it.  they went to counselling, mama is STILL in therapy some 25 years later, and i told him quite bluntly that if he EVER touched my imps that he would not see morning. 

its difficult.  i love mama, and she still is married to him.  she tore him a new orifice when he insisted on hugging me, when i dont want him to touch me at all.

TheEngineer (my husband and dominant) knows and understands.  when i'm being troubled by stuff, he tells me "that man" was just a sperm donor and HE is my Daddy.  and i can accept that.

i dont think that her hatred of someone who abused her should necessarily effect her relationship with her chosen male companion.  sometimes it can, yes.  sometimes it happens that a woman ends up with a man who tells her (among other things) that she DESERVED that abusive treatment.  most men are NOT like that, though, and want their woman to feel better about herself.

she might need a professional to talk to.  she might need to be on medication.  there is no shame in those things.  they're a means to get healthy emotionally.

good luck to you
kitten

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/6/2009 3:49:51 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I know someone whose story is similar to kitten's above.
When her sperm donor died, it did not create peace for her and she still has unresolved stuff that impacts her.

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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/6/2009 3:59:45 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Not necessarily.

Just because she has harsh feelings towards her father does not mean she will treat all men in that way.

Just because she finds one man abusive and has good reasons for her animosity towards him does not mean she finds herself to be that way towards all men. It just means she feels that way towards ONE.

There is no correlation whatsoever.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/6/2009 4:47:41 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		i agree - just because i love my father doesn't mean i am going to love all men

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/6/2009 7:25:43 PM   
bluefireeyez


Posts: 119
Joined: 12/15/2008
Status: offline 		i can't say i hate my father as much as much as i'd like to. i've learned to hate what he did to me growing up and what he has continued to try and put me through as an adult. After not seeing/talking directly to him for 8 years, i tried to make amends. He told me about my "crazy mother" (quotations because really...she is, but he's no better) and his sexual exploits with women in their 20s. When he tried to play his mind/emotional games on me, that was the end. No more sperm donor. He might as well be dead.

However, i do not treat the men in my life the same way. i give them (or try) to give them the benefit of the doubt. i will say that when they screw up, i am more quick to cut it off than some.

If my father was a semi-decent human being, i would be there for him and would help him as he gets older.

It sounds like this woman is holding hostility towards her father for some reason. It is her choice to let it go or not. However, it doesn't mean it will color every relationship she has.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/6/2009 7:58:46 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
My father totally abused me to the point of making me bleed from whipping me and he also attempted to rape me, but didn't quite achieve penetration, he repeatedly told me I was an accident and never should have been born, etc.  Then I hated him for years for never admitting to these things when, as an adult, I confronted him about the same.  Now I've finally made peace in my own mind with the knowledge that he will NEVER admit to having done these things, and yes, I still love him now in spite of it all.  When he dies, it will be very difficult for me but I know I will live through it.  It's just like impossible for me to actually hate anyone now.  But I can say that, just because I feel a certain way about a specific man, it doesn't mean I will feel that way about all of them.  I see, and feel toward, people as individuals.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to bluefireeyez)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 5:36:59 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alphascendant
If a man truly is dominant, disciplined, confident and secure with himself, he will conclude that he should not be here,

Wow. That's a pretty concrete (and ridiculous) statement. Hear that men? Straight from the horse's...um, well, you know.....

quote:

If she treats her own father like shit doesn't it almost seem guaranteed she will treat her men the same way?

No. No it does not.

So "twue" dominants shouldn't be here and if a female treats her father poorly she's sure to treat all men that way. Two very, very erroneous statements.

luci

_____________________________

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(in reply to Alphascendant)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 5:51:01 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am truly Dominant, disciplined, confident and secure with Myself. I have concluded that I will go wherever I want to in life and on the net regardless of what others think. Also what makes this submissive females business, YOUR business? If she is in her forties she should be able to take care of herself and do what she wants unless she is in a M/D/s relationship, then its up to her owner. Maybe it makes her feel better to rant on all these different forums, maybe thats the safest and only way she has to vent.

If she hates her Father so what? Lots of people do, but that does not mean she treats all men like that. Personally I love my Father with all of my heart, he is a good man that I respect and admire. My Mother on the other hand, we are like oil and water, we just do not mix. But that does not mean I treat other women differently because of my Mom.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Alphascendant)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 8:41:14 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

You have neglected to tell us WHY she hates him. Did he walk out on her, beat her, ignore her, emotionally abuse her or does she just hate him because she has some wiring issues? That's pretty crucial information. Since you don't know her family history and what happened behind closed doors, I'd stick to the "how does she treat the waiters" test.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 8:55:19 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		my neice hates her father and i detest mine, does that count?

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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 9:42:41 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I would say that if and only if; you two; working together; cannot find it within your hearts to hate all of mankind, well, then you are just fuckin' shit outta luck, pal.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 10:05:01 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alphascendant

Being at odds with the moderator's interpretation of free speech, shouldn't the entire section of Politics & Religion be moved to the Polls and Random Stupidity column?

There is no "free speech" on a privately owned message board.

This has been your public service announcement.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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(in reply to Alphascendant)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 10:15:05 AM   
MissCake


Posts: 149
Joined: 9/18/2008
Status: offline 		People don't often come to despise their parents for no good reason.  How a person treats his or her parents is often a reflection of how he or she was treated.

If a woman doesn't call her father on his Birthday, how important is that, really?  Some parents never stop inflicting new wounds.  Why should any adult child volunteer for that?  I'd rather see women who refuse contact with abusive fathers than continue the cycle.  It says a great deal more to me about their strength, integrity and coping skills.

(in reply to NihilusZero)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 10:41:13 AM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		I was raised by my grandparents. my grandpa was abusive but my grandma was my best friend. She didn't leave the marriage because it wasn't an option in her mind. I never spoke to my grandpa after I left home. Fuck him. He was a sick bastard. When my grandma died i cried my eyes out. When grandpa died, nothing. The only thing that bothered me is that the bastard didn't die first and give the woman some peace for a while. This hasn't effected the way I treat men nor has it effected the way I treat my actual father who abandoned me. I talk to him regularly. I have no animosity towards him. I might not call him on his birthday but he doesn't call me on mine either.

(in reply to MissCake)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 12:57:43 PM   
oceanwyndsLoves


Posts: 44
Joined: 9/15/2009
Status: offline 		To Op, i will only answer your question regarding hating our fathers. Dad and i never saw eye to eye, and i wasn't the child he wanted, nor he the father i desired. I do not hate him though, for he taught me a lot of ways to not be, which i am thankful that i learned.

Usually people that ramble on at 40, or any age for that matter, about this person or that person messed up their life, I walk away from, without making a total judgment on society. People have always had a choice to heal or be a victim, and nothing i can do to help them with that, if they decide to be a victim.

Blessings,
oceanwynds

(in reply to Hierodule)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 2:17:14 PM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

I had years of good support and it taught me that hatred would just become inner turmoil.
I loved my father until the day that he died and then I happily spat on his grave and told him that at last I was free. My freedom allowed me to move on without hatred in my heart and without the need to feel burdened by my past.
It sounds as though this woman needs some good therapy because telling everyone what happened will NOT help her but make her more and more bitter.

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(in reply to oceanwyndsLoves)
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RE: I HATE MY DADDY! - 10/7/2009 8:43:11 PM   
VeeTee


Posts: 45
Joined: 7/25/2009
Status: offline 		Ah, such a subject...it could go on forever! Abusive parents? My father? Totally an abusive and confused and unhappy man. We gave up communication in my teens. We visited in my 20's then he died. Abusive mother - just that she let it happen. And it makes no difference - the pain of the early years are there whether he is dead or not. It is my ability to deal with it and become strong and move forward with my Master.

It is different for everyone. Therapy is a must. i am at a point where i finally, honestly believe in myself and my ability to make decisions about my life. and i am happily here on CM. so there you go.

vee

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 20
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