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ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

Your post brings back a lot of old memories. I've been there. I think you are bored. Tell him. It may help. Of course he's under no obligation to provide a slave with challenges just to keep her entertained, but he may want to. It can be enjoyable in a sadistic sort of way. :)

I almost forgot the most important part! (I'm a little distracted this morning.) Try, if you can, to be grateful for boredom. The alternative, except in a few rare instances (such as the courtship phase of a relationship), is usually far worse.

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ORIGINAL: ncbabe

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ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

Perhaps, by not focusing on the fact that folding socks is a service and act of submission for my Master I am cheating myself out of the positive feeling I get through service and surrender. I am complying when I should be obeying and serving. Folding socks is rather meaningless and a mindless task unless I meditate upon the reason and the circumstances that I find myself in the middle of the livingroom floor folding socks.

Your job is to fold socks, and that is what you are doing.  What you need to do is reframe the feeling you have while doing this, because it is the fact that you are over thinking it that is cheating you out of the positive feeling you should be getting.  Your concern about whether you are complying or obeying shows to me that you are folding his socks for the right reasons.  One of my greatest challenges has been learning to accept being mindless at times and enjoy the peacefulness of serving without thinking about it.  I think that folding his socks while on auto pilot is a lovely example of you just doing your job and that you should be simply pleased with that.

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ORIGINAL: AnnaOfAramis

I don't think you should be worried about "compliance." Here's another way to look at it. This is an internal enslavement perspective. If you are "choosing to obey" then you are determining your own slavery, mastering yourself. When you don't choose, but find yourself complying because it is impossible for you not to, then He is mastering you.

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ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin


I have also exploited my type A personality. I have so many irons in the fire that I cannot even count them. So, I can certainly relate to the whole when there is work to be done thing.

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I was struggling with the fact that I had become so selfless in so many aspects of my life and was dealing with a little resentment about it because I didnt believe it was a healthy thing for a person. I spent all of 2007 trying to find something to be selfish with and ended that year not achieving my resolution. In December of 2007 I sat down to write in my journal and reevaluate the year. The realization that I came to is that one of deep seeded needs as a slave is to FEEL selfless.

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I have to admit that feeling like a martyr for HIM moves me deeply. I know it is odd and insane, but it is what works for me and is one of the things that drives me in my slavery.

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Yes, I believe my level of activity is appropriate. I do fully devote myself. I do percieve it as good for me and the routine is effortless for me.

The prime directive from my Master is to be a good care taker of his property. ( He says it and I can quote it much wordier than that, however I will summarize it that way for the readers sake). That was probably one of the most difficult things for me to learn. That of course entails adequate rest, food, exercise etc. I suppose it is a good thing that I have an ethical Master with that prime directive because otherwise I would most certainly not tend to the self.

(in reply to porcelaine)

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There's an old line "Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water".

You would be folding socks and doing laundry anyway, no matter how you slice it. If you get your secret thrill of watching reality tv while folding socks, go for it. If you find you can do this with mindfulness and get something out of it from doing it that way, go for it.

Honestly, I think you're overthinking it. However, there is an easy solution here, ask him what he wants. Because if he says that he's glad you get a boring chore done while enjoying a tv show he hates, then keep doing it. If he wants you focused on him no matter what, then try to do it that way.

But keep in mind that these relationships should not be done just to satisfy one person. There are two people in it, and both of them must be satisfied. Even down to being allowed to watch junk tv when you need your fix. Because if you aren't ever allowed to, you will focus on it, and resent the lack. You can focus on him better when you don't have unmet needs and desires pulling your focus away.

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ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

The prime directive from my Master is to be a good care taker of his property. ( He says it and I can quote it much wordier than that, however I will summarize it that way for the readers sake). That was probably one of the most difficult things for me to learn. That of course entails adequate rest, food, exercise etc. I suppose it is a good thing that I have an ethical Master with that prime directive because otherwise I would most certainly not tend to the self.