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Sade-dar - 10/10/2009 1:24:07 AM   
stiv2009


Posts: 19
Joined: 10/4/2009
Status: offline 		Is there such a thing as Sade-dar as there is of Gay-dar? Namely the intuitive ability to sense another's sadism - in the way that some people can sense other peoples' homosexuality? For the mistresses: what character traits or behavioral quirks might have you had before you saw yourself as a mistress or thought of BDSM at all which could have predicted your subsequent evolution to become full-on mistresses? For subs: do you find yourself falling for women who subsequently turn out to have mistress material in them, and do you consciously or unconsciously sense it? Or do you just jump falsely to conclusions and find yourself totally vanilla'd out?

Steve
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sade-dar - 10/10/2009 1:26:28 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Oh.

So this isn't about the ability to detect if people are fans of Sade?

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to stiv2009)
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RE: Sade-dar - 10/10/2009 5:48:24 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		There are plenty of submissives who have developed a take-charge attitude in the vanilla world and want nothing more than to shed it at home.  So that your sade-dar would not be foolproof.

However, there IS a hanky code for self-labeling.

Why would you scout out vanilla people, looking for subtle clues, instead of just going to a munch and seeing which people outwardly identify?


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to NihilusZero)
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RE: Sade-dar - 10/10/2009 8:19:24 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm not sure if there is sade-dar.  I can tell you that people who know Me know when the happy little sadism or play thoughts are running through My brain.  There's two tell tale signs.  One, My eyes will turn a brighter shade of green.  Not quite the vibrant green that they are when I'm actually playing or in top space, but there is absolutely a difference.

The other is that I flirt.  Normally, I don't do that but if I'm in a play space and zoned in on someone that I would like to bottom for Me, I become very flirtatious.  I didn't even realize that one until MP pointed it out to Me but he was right.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sade-dar - 10/10/2009 11:51:19 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Dominant and sadistic---NOT the same. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Sade-dar - 10/10/2009 12:11:26 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I flinch every time I walk past a Nun...does that count?  

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Sade-dar - 10/10/2009 2:40:43 PM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Nuns Dare call it Treason Otter!  I didn't go to Catholic grade school; but, I do seem to remember Nuns as mean.

I have often wondered I if there isn't such a thing as Subbie-Dar.  Every once in a while, I encounter a woman who seems to see right int my core.
 

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sade-dar - 10/10/2009 3:40:04 PM   
stiv2009


Posts: 19
Joined: 10/4/2009
Status: offline 		I suppose I asked the question - since BDSM has been a very late in life discovery for me - and yet it seemed to have been always there, but a few fortuitious discoveries, an unlikely connection with another person, and suddenly the genie is out of the bottle. Which is strange. I remember buying The Velvet Underground in 1979 (banana cover album) - but the song "Venus in Furs" meant nothing to me. Now the phrase "Strike dear mistress and cure his heart" does mean something. I remember buying Madonna's Erotica album 1992 I think - but again - all the kinky stuff in it went completely over my head. I knew it was there in the text - but it didn't seem to resonate with me at all. In 1993 I saw a ridiculous italian film called "mutande pazze" (literally: mad underwear) in which a woman accidentally steps on the hand of a man who immediately collapses in an awed swoon and thereafter becomes putty in her hands - but again - this just seemed ludicrous at the time. And now at another phase in my life it doesnt seem so. Therefore kink may be submerged for many years - but can be roused from slumber (as long as its there). The reason therefore for asking if there is such a thing as Sade-dar is - if you could "divine" somehow a potential for dominance (I take the point that Sadism and Dominance are not the same thing but the word Sade-dar is snappier than Domdar) - it would make the pool of available potential partners much larger - since you'd be filtering out the unkinky from the humanly acceptable rather than the humanly unacceptable from the (much reduced pool) of avowedly kinky. Actually I don't think I am making much sense here, so I will shut up.

(in reply to SnowRanger)
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RE: Sade-dar - 10/10/2009 5:07:42 PM   
IBused


Posts: 93
Joined: 10/4/2009
Status: offline 		I have been called Sardastic.....a blend of sarcasim and sadistic in one sweet tortilla roll...does that count?  No Hot sauce needed...that cums from the combination

(in reply to stiv2009)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sade-dar - 10/11/2009 1:47:34 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		An explanation of Gaydar might help you see that you're barking up the wrong tree.... LOL!

Let's say I'm at a large Mall on a Saturday afternoon.  How does my gaydar work?  I simply watch whom the men are looking at.  Men watching men are probably gay.  Men watching women are probably not.

You're welcome.

Regards, Lance Hughes (with more than 25 years in the scene.)

<edited for punctuation.>

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 10/11/2009 1:48:37 AM >

(in reply to IBused)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sade-dar - 10/11/2009 4:20:09 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		*giggle*  Ok... Gotta tell this story as it is always fun when people talk about "picking up on hints"...

I run a costume shop.  Traffic is heavy this time of year.  (DUH!)  A couple of handsome, young strapping men come in to shop for makeup and accessories to use in a haunted house.  They asked if I had any horns?  I directed them to the make up wall and pointed some out "These are the glue on horns and these are the strap on horns."  The two young men (mid-20ish) started laughing and repeating "Strap on (pause) horns".  I smiled and explained "Yes.  These are the ones I wear with my succubus costume.  They are attached to a clear headband that hides in the hair.  See?  They come in several styles, but I like these."  They made their selections and invited me to attend their haunt.  I asked, "Do I get to wear my costume?"  They said "Yes!"  I smiled, "My wings, black leather corset and strap on  (pause)  horns?"  They laughed louder "Hell Yeah!" blushing and laughing they went straight to the cash register while I moved on to the next customer. 

Sometimes, even when you hit them over the head with a 2X4 - they still think you're just joking.


_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sade-dar - 10/12/2009 5:36:31 AM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		<ARGH!>   A succubus costume...  <OUCH!>  It hurts to think about... <OOOFF!>  I am SOOOO THERE!!!!  

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 12
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