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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/5/2006 12:02:10 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

Well, in my opinion safety is a major concern

I am in no way trying to say that safety should not be a major concern. Only that there are some who refuse to take a submissive that far.

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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/5/2006 12:06:09 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

Yes. its called trust. <sits back and waits for the flurry of responses>

i do so love your posts!

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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/5/2006 6:25:01 PM

kyraofMists

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I am a masochist because I become sexually aroused when my Lord inflicts pain on me and the more he hurts me the more aroused I get. The sexual arousal only happens in a limited context. For example, when I cut open my finger several years ago and had to get stitches, I was not sexually aroused by that. So what is the difference, pain is pain, right? For me, I think it has something to do with what Lucky said:

quote:

Then I realized it was because the only time I ever had his full attention, his full energy, and his fully open intimacy, was when he was playing with me in a pain scene. That was what I was craving and connected to.

Whenever, I have my Lord's full attention, which fortunately for me happens much more often than when we are playing, I become sexually aroused. We could be having a conversation about anything and if all his attention, energy, focus is on me, then I am going to get turned on... now if pain comes along with that, it's going to be a fun night.

But, I have a love/hate or maybe love/fear relationship with pain. I get aroused by it but I also fear it. I crave it but I fear it. The more I enjoy an activity that causes pain, the more that I fear it happening again. I find that if I do not fight the sensations then that edge of fear just adds more spice to the play.

I am not sure that any of this answered the question asked.... my masochism is just a small part of who I am as is my submission and they are not dependent on each other. My masochism does not limit my submission nor does my submission limit my masochism and I hope that I do not get to a place where I do not like pain since I am in love with sadist.

Knight's kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/5/2006 9:29:49 PM

brigidsub

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Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Washington
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mbmbn,

Thanks so much for bringing these questions here. Your answers here and in email and the ones so many have added on the board have helped me focus more on the questions I have been asking myself. Sometimes, when asking over and over and only eliciting the feelings that I don't understand in the first place...it is, as I told you, like operating in a vacuum.

I've been trying not to define myself as a masochist, or give myself any other labels for that matter. Instead, I'm trying to examine what brings me to this inner place, that I crave pain, seemingly without end.

As always, Lucky Albatross made me ponder more deeply where I'm at with this when she described that state of increased craving....not so much the actual time spent "in" pain, but the time spent thinking of and craving the pain (I assume both before and after....as I am wont to do!)

proud sub and Irish Mist's posts about those inflicting pain fearing going too far or fearing their sub/slave's inability or refusal to use a safeword or recognize when they've had enough....I relate, so well, to that- even so early on in this journey. I'm not trying to be brave, or a good sub, I just find myself wanting more and more.

I question motive, ie: if it's my desire for pain, and it's greater than what my Master/Mistress/Dom/mina wants or brings them pleasure, am I a sub, or a masochist, or both or neither? I'm know I'm not here just to be a player or a fake....I rather vote for masochistic sub...but, what do I know?

Kyra's post: Attention....oh yes! I am aware that I get attention whether I am waiting for pain or not, but when there are those moments of nothing but the feeling....as with the use of bondage and blindfolds, too.... I am brought to a level of turn on I never dreamed possible.

Voice, look, touch, a sigh or facial movement...whatever....and, in many ways the deliberate absence of those same ingredients, any time fully directed at/to me, fills me with a passion I can't remember **before**.

Again, thanks to everyone posting....and I'll continue to read and explore. Learning to be patient with my explorations, anyway. Or at least value patience!

And Kyra, so true: Masochist and submissive are such only part-albeit a very important part- of who I (think,at least) that I am. The posts from all who answered help me to realize one is certainly not dependent upon the other.

< Message edited by brigidsub -- 3/5/2006 9:31:15 PM >

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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/6/2006 11:16:05 AM

fyreredsub

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i dont like pain
i do like giving up control
maybe thats why Gor works so well for me

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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/6/2006 1:53:34 PM

maybemaybenot

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You are more than welcome, brigidsub. I am happy that many of the responses have gotten you out of that vacumn and moving on to a better place with your questions and feelings.

mbmbn

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When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/6/2006 2:27:28 PM

angelic

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i enjoy pain... i didn't KNOW i did until several years ago... it has progressed... Although i would never consider myself a pain-slut. i think that the pain can be increased gradually...

just my opinion

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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/6/2006 4:19:10 PM

littleone35

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Well i am for sure a non mashochistic person. A little pain i like but if it gets into heavy pain i hate it is does not turn me on. I am lucky my Master is not much into pain eiother if i nedd displine or punishment well that is a different story but pain is not his part of play.

Matt's littleone

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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/6/2006 4:38:05 PM

kyraofMists

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My pleasure brigid; please ask any other questions you have.

One thing that I did not mention about play with my Lord since it isn't all that realitive to my masochism is that in play, a bottom to my Lord only has one rule, "There are no rules". It is an opportunity for me to be completely free in my expression of emotions and behaviors. Most times I am a very emotionally controlled and reserved person. Different types of play/pain brings on different types of emotions and behaviors for me. The one my Lord likes encouraging the most is my anger and aggressiveness. This emotional and behavioral freedom is another reason that I crave the pain. I find that it is after these sessions that I am most at peace and incredibly energized. Last play party I was so hyper I was bouncing off the walls and my Lord and alandra were barely able to drag themselves to bed.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/6/2006 8:25:01 PM

MyCaptainsPet

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i am one who doesn't enjoy pain... i tend to crave the punishment when i'm mentally in a bad place.. it helps to release the mental road block i sometimes put up. But, i cringe at the thought of being beaten, or tortured, or hurt all in the name of fun.. NOT that there is ANYTHING wrong with that.. it's just not for me...

i DO enjoy the kink aspect of WIIWD... being tied up, the roughness, and all the fun things that come with it!!

i've always felt my submission was more of a emotional submissiveness.. the need to please and take care of and cater and follow someone elses rules.. Give them total control and just follow what they want me to do. i crave to sit at his feet and to be owned completely by him.

< Message edited by MyCaptainsPet -- 3/6/2006 8:27:21 PM >

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RE: masochistic vs non masochistic - 3/7/2006 10:44:03 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

For the masochistic submissive:

Do you think your journey will take you past the longing for pain...and begin to transcend that longing, to another state of submission?

the first time this slave was ever referred to as a masochist, was when she refused anesthesia during unmentionable-birth, not just once, but thrice. after that, it was during an intense shiatsu massage, this slave was groaning with pleasure, but not stimulated sexually at all. not every masochist gets a "sexual" charge from pain, it can be a pleasurable experience, akin to the pleasure some folks feel after they eat, or after exercise, or after a hit of crack. certain limited pain and humiliation fantasies at the hands of a sadist had ALSO been a focus of this slave's early fantasies that brought about some fabulous orgasms, but certainly not the only way to skin that cat!!! back then, this slave was serving herself, longing for and using pain to bring about different types of pleasure that was her own ideas, not within service to someone else and surrendering that control to them.

an important part of this slave's journey has been the transcendence of that longing for pain, the one that was present and indulged upon on her OWN terms to one of NO MORE LONGING. this slave doesn't crave and long for and fantasize about RECEIVING pain anymore for her own pleasure...because this slave has discovered and been allowed something that resonates with her on a different or more intense level=being allowed to serve Master.

this slave gets a sexual charge from pleasing the sadist within Him on HIS terms. HE decides what, when, where and for how long the pain will be. most of the pain this slave goes through for His pleasure, she would not choose, of her own volition to go through if she wasn't in the M/s relationship she is with Him. there are things this slave had never fantasized sexually about or participated in. there are also acts of humiliation or other sexual services that do not include pain that--as an act, in and of itself--has NO appeal to this slave, but BECAUSE it pleases Him, this slave looks forward to and fondly remembers the opportunities to serve in such a way for HIS pleasure, but there is no feeling of longing.

is it another "state" of submission? if submission has "states", then for this slave, and with all due respect to the inhabitants of the Great Republic, this slave's current "state" is Texas~"It's like a whole ('n)other country" from submission to her OWN, personal control of and intertwined longing for masochistic pleasures, sexual or otherwise.

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