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sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 4:42:23 AM   
babygirl1961


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/1/2009
Status: offline 		my Master has asked me to share my feelings and thoughts....i am not a well educated person and i have hidden my thoughts and feelings most of my life..i find it very difficult to express myself ...does anyone have any advice or helpful things to offer me...i do so want to be able to do this for Him...
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 4:54:07 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		It's always important to have an oppinion.

Try starting off with these few things.

You know what pisses me off?

You know what makes me happy?

And tell events of your life. I remember when ......

When you start talking, everything will eventually flow out.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to babygirl1961)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 5:16:10 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Is there something specific he wants you to talk about?

It can be scary to share things, especially if you've spent your life doing the opposite, but it gets easier with practice.

Determine what you think/feel about (fill in the blank), then respectfully explain that to him.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 6:33:10 AM   
ncbabe


Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline 		Ask him for a starting point to give you some focus.  If you find it hard to express yourself verbally, try writing down the thoughts you have in your head to relieve the pressure of having to give an immediate response.  Don't concern yourself with how it sounds or if any of it makes sense... remember that the exercise isn't about spelling and grammar, it's about finding out what you think/feel.  If you are not comfortable talking with him about what you wrote, ask him if he can read it instead and take it from there.  It will be difficult for you to start with if you are not used to sharing, but it will become easier over time.  Good luck :)

(in reply to babygirl1961)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 7:33:05 AM   
babygirl1961


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/1/2009
Status: offline 		thankyou all so far for the advice...

(in reply to ncbabe)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 7:49:11 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babygirl1961
my Master has asked me to share my feelings and thoughts....i am not a well educated person and i have hidden my thoughts and feelings most of my life..

You don't need to be "well-educated" to share what makes you you. If you're talking about errors in spelling/grammar/etc. as you write, hopefully your master is big enough to look over those and get to the heart of what you express. It's not how you spell it, it's what you share that counts

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 9:17:00 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		READ - go to the self help section of your local book store and find something that looks interesting - and read it.

The great thing about reading is that it provides information to your subconscious and as you process it , you will find that it is coming out.

Of course , the one big component in expressing feelings is trusting that the one you are talking to won't make fun or run you down for what you are saying.

(in reply to ncbabe)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 12:59:18 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Do you know why you have chosen to hide your feelings?

Did you grow up in a home where you were ridiculed or punished because of your feelings?
Were you told that you were too sensitive?

I suggest letting him know why it is an issue for you, if you know, so that he can promise you he will never do that.

I have a journal (just a regular notebook) that I jot in every night and when I see him, he reads it.

It does not have to be fancy, or perfect.
It just has to be you.

edit: spelling

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 10/11/2009 1:06:55 PM >

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 1:29:54 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

thankyou all so far for the advice...


This comment fits in the category "conversation shutdown". Start by not doing that, try to talk, reply, have a conversation.

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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 3:23:10 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Like luci said...you do not need an education to be able to *express* yourself...its a communication skill...something I know very little about -L-

Don`t be so hard on yourself and take a risk...its really about opening one door at a time...

good luck...

(in reply to babygirl1961)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 3:27:09 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		One thing i had to do - very deliberately - was decide to be as totally honest as i could be with my Sir, and that included my feelings.One of the hardest things for me was to talk about my sexuality, i did, and the rewards are great.

If you are with someone you trust, then go for it. All you can get is laughed at, and the best that could happen is that you can have an emotionally fufilling relationship, where your dom doesn't have to guess at where you are coming from - he knows, because YOU told him.
Obviously, this doesn't happen overnight, it is an evolution, a work in progress, but you can make the first step. It just takes courage, and a desire to have that sort of relationship.

(in reply to antipode)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 3:34:25 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		I have a journal that I'd write in and Sir would read it.  Somehow it just seemed easier to do that than to just actually talk about my feelings.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 5:03:24 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: babygirl1961

my Master has asked me to share my feelings and thoughts....i am not a well educated person and i have hidden my thoughts and feelings most of my life..i find it very difficult to express myself ...does anyone have any advice or helpful things to offer me...i do so want to be able to do this for Him...


If you need education such as a writing class, go to a college and take a class. Ask yourself why it is difficult? Do you fear disapproval, or rejection because of these thoughts? You have to believe that your Master cares enough about you to want to know, and that he will use this knowledge to help you gain more strength and self confidence, or possibly ease a fear or concern you may have about something.

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to babygirl1961)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/11/2009 7:50:20 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Is it difficult to share face to face? Is it easier over the phone, or in email. In the beginning I found it much easier to use email. I didn't have to worry about saying something wrong and being immediately tossed aside for expressing it wrong.

He doesn't overreact, he would read it and think about it and ask questions if he needed to. After that we moved up to me being able to talk to him only if he was holding me and I didn't have to look at him at the time. With time came sufficient knowledge that it was safe to talk to him and now I can. But it took time to get to this point.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Acer49)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/12/2009 3:47:25 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		Focus on sharing feelings. Take it one step at a time. Gain confidence through experience gained over time. If helpful, write down your feelings in a diary -- "I feel...". Then review what you write, and decide what feels safe to share. Don't just take a leap of faith, since he is probably not a professional counselor or psychologist, and may not know how to deal with a flood of emotions.

Always remember, they are YOUR feelings, and they can never be wrong.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: sharing feelings - 10/12/2009 8:54:43 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		Try baby steps... if it's that hard for you to express yourself verbally, then WRITE your feelings down.  He can then review and discuss with you.  The more you two do this, with time, the more comfortable you'll be expressing yourself verbally.  A diary/journal you write in every day may not be a bad idea either.



< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 10/12/2009 8:56:30 PM >

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to aldompdx)
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