RE: Why do you choose to submit

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RE: Why do you choose to submit - 10/12/2009 12:25:40 PM

Wheldrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: geomease

I suppose you could go so far as to say i believe women to be innately superior to men, and that to a degree I am actually a little jealous or envious that I'll never have the true femininity that I have always desired. Then again I do have different reasons for wanting to submit to men as well. When submitting to a man it is easier to be the designated "girl" of the relationship, which i find an attractive prospect. that is not to say that the female role is supposed to be assumed as submissive as many of us know there are many strong women.

This seems to involve a bit of a contradiction, and I'm curious about how you resolve it. You see women as innately superior, but associate submission to another man with being the "girl"? I have to admit I'm having a lot of difficulty wrapping my head around this.

Personally, I don't see either sex as inherently superior, although I sometimes think that I might enjoy living in a society in which women enjoyed superior legal rights (a very different thing). To address your original question, my motivation to submit is multifaceted. I do have what I would describe as a broadly submissive personality - I'm not one of those people who's only submissive in the bedroom, or only submissive to one other individual. I generally enjoy pleasing other people, and I often find it uncomfortable to make decisions (especially when they also affect others). So belonging to a dominant woman gives me someone to please, and removes some of the stress of decision-making.

However, there's another side to the story. Mistress is sadistic as well as dominant, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Belonging to someone who genuinely enjoys making me suffer is scary and challenging, and makes every visit with Mistress (we live far apart) into a bit of an adventure - and every adventure worth the name, of course, has its dark and perilous moments. So I've always thought of my submission to her as something that removes certain stresses from my life, and introduces certain others that are much more fun and interesting.

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RE: Why do you choose to submit - 10/12/2009 3:08:09 PM

catize

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This question relates in a way to the ‘free will’ thread started by LovingPet.
I don’t believe I have free will regarding my interest in/desire to be submissive in my intimate relationships because submission is within me; a part of my personality.
It is the type of relationship that pleases me the most, feels the most fulfilling, and works best for me.
Now, I did have a choice on whether or not to seek that type of relationship. But the fact that I choose to submit circles back to the reasons listed above.
So was it, is it, really a choice?

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RE: Why do you choose to submit - 10/12/2009 3:11:48 PM

geomease

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Yes I realize that is a bit of a contradiction. But it's often easy to see partners having roles as male or female. For many gay partnerships the side who plays catcher or bottom is often considered the girl of the relationship. While this is not always the case many times from what I've seen it is. But my views on women being superior is based fon a biological as well as social standpoint. I really could go into deeper detail about why I see women as superior but that'd derail the topic so I'll save that viewpoint for another time.

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RE: Why do you choose to submit - 10/13/2009 8:42:57 AM

littleone35

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Why i chose to submit i did not choose i was born an sub. Now that does not mean i submit to anyone, i chose who i wanted to submit to and that was because i love and trust Master totally with my heart and body.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Why do you choose to submit - 10/13/2009 1:47:39 PM

SubOnlyForHim

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i submit because it makes U/us happy - it's the natural thing to do with/for/to Sir.

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RE: Why do you choose to submit - 10/13/2009 3:04:00 PM

DesFIP

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I choose to submit to him because he makes decisions that are better for me then the ones I make alone.

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RE: Why do you choose to submit - 10/13/2009 6:23:16 PM

leadership527

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Geomease:

I'm curious if you feel you've gotten an answer to your question. I have yet to feel confident that I really understand the question you're asking.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Why do you choose to submit - 10/13/2009 6:55:26 PM

geomease

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Yes, i was just wondering what other peoples feelings were. I wasn't looking for a certain answer, rather I was just looking to see how other people felt. I saw a great range of responses some of them similar to my own feelings so I'm content with how things went. But I am quite satisfied by all the responses given.

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RE: Why do you choose to submit - 10/13/2009 6:58:54 PM

Wolf2Bear

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Simply put; it is what I want, need and desire to do.

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Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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RE: Why do you choose to submit - 10/13/2009 10:07:58 PM

lucylucy

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There’s definitely a choice element in it for me.

I always had fantasies of submitting but didn’t really know that those fantasies could be acted on. I lived a very vanilla life for a long time. I was in a long-term (20 years) vanilla relationship that was really good in a lot of ways, but my husband was very submissive (not the word I used at the time—I always thought of him as passive, but it’s now clear to me that he is submissive) and I was forced to be the one who made things happen. I didn’t dominate him the way a dom would a sub; it was more like I was his manager and he was my slacker employee that I couldn’t bring myself to fire because he was so damn cute and sweet. That sucked a little in the beginning and sucked a whole lot by the end.

There were flashes of non-vanilla-ness. We had an open marriage for the first 10 years, and I had a few lovers who gave me a glimpse of submission but I lacked the confidence to pursue it.

When my marriage ended, I made a conscious decision to explore submission. There is no doubt in my mind that it was a choice I made. I chose to explore it because for pretty much my entire life, I had been incredibly turned on by thoughts of submitting to someone. I knew that I would forever regret it if I didn’t explore it, but I also knew I had the option of not exploring it. I never felt that I didn't have a choice.

So that’s why I submit in general. Why I submit to my boyfriend specifically? There’s no choice there. I have to submit to him. My body did it first and my mind followed. But if I hadn’t FIRST made the conscious decision to explore submission, I probably wouldn’t have met my boyfriend in the first place, and if I had, I wouldn’t have been open to his dominance.

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