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two dominants? - 10/11/2009 7:57:45 PM

GoddessSpitfire

Posts: 45
Joined: 3/25/2009
Status: offline

Hello there, I am asked a question by many people and I wonder the same thing myself. Why are you dating a Dom? So I thought I would come here and start a thread and see how many other Dom/mes are dating Dom/mes. Do you each have your separate subs? how does this work out for you? any advice on this situation? I have never dated a Dom before and I am having a hard time coping with not getting my way all the time. Any and all input is appreciated.

Blessed be

Spitfire

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Post #: 1

RE: two dominants? - 10/11/2009 8:52:50 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'm in a D/D marriage. We pretty much have an equal relationship. There is no power structure. I tell people to think of us as any other vanilla couple, except for the fact that we have kinky interests that are generally explored with other people.

I have a collared sub and My other half has yet to have his first D/s dynamic. Quick version, I was a D before he really got an interest in kink. For a while, he was the nilla hubby who attended kinky events with Me.

For us, it works great.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: two dominants? - 10/11/2009 9:09:28 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

I'm married to a fellow D. We have no authority structure but he's incredibly laid-back so he often defers to whatever I think is best. Occasionally, I just don't care what we do so I'll defer to whatever he wants or thinks is best. If we both feel strongly about something, we discuss and debate until we reach a mutually acceptable compromise. Fortunately, our personalities and values are similar, so we rarely disagree on things.

To be honest, I like the fact that he's dominant. Some days, I'm just tired and I don't want to be the one responsible for all the decisions. I wouldn't want to be in a monogamous relationship with a submissive partner and feel like I had to be "on" all the time. Fortunately, my husband and I are also polyamorous. We get to have relationships with other people.

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RE: two dominants? - 10/11/2009 9:29:32 PM

DemonKia

Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline

[silly threadjack]

Challenge! I don't think you & LadyPact & your guys can be weal & twue unless one of you is groveling. How can there be dominance with no bootlicking?

[/silly threadjack]

Sorry, OP, I have only my silliness to contribute to this thread, tho' I'm reading with great interest . . . . .

Well, that & I have a bit of a suspicion that poly helps a lot . .. .. .

< Message edited by DemonKia -- 10/11/2009 9:30:17 PM >

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RE: two dominants? - 10/11/2009 9:33:21 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

[silly threadjack]

Challenge! I don't think you & LadyPact & your guys can be weal & twue unless one of you is groveling. How can there be dominance with no bootlicking?

[/silly threadjack]

Hey, no one said there wasn't any licking involved. Just that it wasn't of BOOTS.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread...

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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Post #: 5

RE: two dominants? - 10/11/2009 9:43:38 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

[silly threadjack]

Challenge! I don't think you & LadyPact & your guys can be weal & twue unless one of you is groveling. How can there be dominance with no bootlicking?

[/silly threadjack]

Hey, no one said there wasn't any licking involved. Just that it wasn't of BOOTS.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread...

yet again you make me spit out my Dr Pepper. You keep this up and you will owe me a new laptop...lol

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RE: two dominants? - 10/11/2009 9:50:21 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessSpitfire

Hello there, I am asked a question by many people and I wonder the same thing myself. Why are you dating a Dom? So I thought I would come here and start a thread and see how many other Dom/mes are dating Dom/mes. Do you each have your separate subs? how does this work out for you? any advice on this situation? I have never dated a Dom before and I am having a hard time coping with not getting my way all the time. Any and all input is appreciated.

Blessed be

Spitfire

My husband and I are kind of in this boat. I'm Domme and he is a switch. So we have decided that when we are ready we will have a slave shared between the two of us. So he will be the alpha, and will be in command of the new slave, but I will command them both and will make all final decisions.

I said I would never even accept a switch let alone marry one, but the little fellar slipped under my radar...lol

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Post #: 7

RE: two dominants? - 10/11/2009 10:40:37 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I'm in a D/D marriage. We pretty much have an equal relationship. There is no power structure. I tell people to think of us as any other vanilla couple, except for the fact that we have kinky interests that are generally explored with other people.

I have a collared sub and My other half has yet to have his first D/s dynamic. Quick version, I was a D before he really got an interest in kink. For a while, he was the nilla hubby who attended kinky events with Me.

For us, it works great.

Having met and spent time with You both, all I can say is... no one can have THAT much fun unless things are working

Miss You guys, a whole lot!

_____________________________

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RE: two dominants? - 10/12/2009 4:20:19 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
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Prior to this relationship I was in a Dom/Domme relationship for four years. We never once tried to dominate one another but had our own subs or shared subs. It worked really well because we were able to swing ideas off each other and had an awful lot in common.
Within my present relationship we will often jointly dominate a person.

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Post #: 9

RE: two dominants? - 10/12/2009 5:28:34 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

My wife Lady Neets and I have been in a Dome/Domme relationship of a little over 10 years and married happily for 8. We like a few here have a successful poly home. No dramas nor big deals we are what we are and that is the end of it.

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Post #: 10

RE: two dominants? - 10/12/2009 7:29:38 AM

GoddessSpitfire

Posts: 45
Joined: 3/25/2009
Status: offline

so far everyone is describing the kind of relationship that I am in. I am a bit worried though because we are having a hard time finding anyone who would serve us non sexually. any advice on this??

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Post #: 11

RE: two dominants? - 10/12/2009 8:42:42 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

I'm in a D/D marriage. We pretty much have an equal relationship. There is no power structure. I tell people to think of us as any other vanilla couple, except for the fact that we have kinky interests that are generally explored with other people.

I have a collared sub and My other half has yet to have his first D/s dynamic. Quick version, I was a D before he really got an interest in kink. For a while, he was the nilla hubby who attended kinky events with Me.

For us, it works great.

Having met and spent time with You both, all I can say is... no one can have THAT much fun unless things are working
Miss You guys, a whole lot!

We miss you, too! It already seems like ages, doesn't it? We should think about planning something.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessSpitfire

so far everyone is describing the kind of relationship that I am in. I am a bit worried though because we are having a hard time finding anyone who would serve us non sexually. any advice on this??

Be the kind of Dominants that someone would want to serve? Otherwise, I've got nothing.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 12

RE: two dominants? - 10/12/2009 9:59:57 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessSpitfire

Hello there, I am asked a question by many people and I wonder the same thing myself. Why are you dating a Dom? So I thought I would come here and start a thread and see how many other Dom/mes are dating Dom/mes. Do you each have your separate subs? how does this work out for you? any advice on this situation? I have never dated a Dom before and I am having a hard time coping with not getting my way all the time. Any and all input is appreciated.

Blessed be

Spitfire

I've been in a household with multiple dominants (with and without romantic relationships between us, including marriage) for almost 15 years. Our servants are collared to a "house" collar, but it is acknowledged that it is human nature for both sides of the kneel to have their individual preferences... however, for our servants, not preferring a particular dominant member (or even disliking that dominant) does not mean that the servant can refuse a command... in the same way, whether a dominant member of our household -likes- a given servant, xhe is still responsible for the well-being of that servant.

So far, this has worked out well. It existed for about 5 years before I became part of it, and now it looks like it will survive beyond my departure as well, since personal circumstances are requiring that I relocate, but the rest of the household can't make the move within my time-frame. It seems to me that the thing that makes these kinds of alternative scenarios work or not work is the commitment of the individuals involved to that particular decision. If someone isn't committed to the way things are being done, it is difficult if not impossible to get that person to do what is necessary to keep things intact... so I'd say that it's fine to have relationships that include multiple dominants (and multiple servants and any other permutation) as long as everyone involved is dedicated to the concept and household structure being built. Every relationship has struggles at times, and it takes that commitment to see those rough times through -- if anyone is on the fence or -actively- adversarial to the process, there are -going- to be problems that won't be able to be resolved, no matter -how- committed everyone else is.

Dame Calla

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Post #: 13

RE: two dominants? - 10/12/2009 11:35:01 AM

LadyHibiscus