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RE: Married Dommes - 3/5/2006 3:25:28 PM

YveGee

Posts: 39
Joined: 10/5/2004
From: Dallas - Fort Worth Metroplex
Status: offline

When my profile is open, <smile> you can see that I'm married. I announce it proudly. Occasionally I even add "happily" married!

My marriage is part of me and a significant part of my life. Anyone who wants to be with me has to understand this. I think it's only fair to make sure that all my (potential) partners are aware of my priorities and where they rank in them!

Yve

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If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. --author unknown

(in reply to SweetDommes)

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Post #: 21

RE: Married Dommes - 3/5/2006 11:01:46 PM

novacaine

Posts: 19
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

I am married and not to my boy. Before my husband and I opened things up to allow others in, we talked and talked. And our first experiments with being involved with others were baby steps. We had to prove to each other that we could include others and not hurt the relationship or each other. It's hard work and is not for everyone. Those involved must absolutely know what their priorities are.

However, we both felt that one other person could never be Everything Forever, and the inclusion of others in our lives has been exciting and fulfilling. I totally feel as though all the hard work was worth it.

Smythe

You sound quite wise, Smythe.

(in reply to Smythe)

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Post #: 22

RE: Married Dommes - 3/5/2006 11:16:45 PM

ShadeDiva

Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

I tell everyone. Usually right out the gate so to speak. I'm not matrried and we probably won't be getting married anytime soon, but I consider Ray to be my lifepartner as well as my dominant.

I also get the *fun fun* I am a switch and no I won't be switching with my submissive, so not interested in going there to throw at potential submissives as well as the partner dealie. They get both barrels in one breath.

Oh, and then I get to add in the *next* breath that I'm not seeking to be fluid bonded to my submissive as at this time I am sexually monogamous and BDSM -poly and oh yes I do not mix sex with BDSM and oh yeah I don't get horny or turned on by dominating someone and oh yeah we aren't into cuckolding and aren't looking for someone for him to dominate or top and not ready to consider any live-in situations.

That all in all pretty much sends the majority running. LOL.

If it doesn't I'll add in the whole thing about how I don't dress in fetish gear and like to scene clothed - usually in cotton clothing. And that I view BDSM as more than scening - I am seeking a service orientated submissive.

That tends to make 99% of them turn around and decide I'm not all that ideal of a match for them as they were assuring me I was. LOL.

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~ShadeDiva
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(in reply to novacaine)

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Post #: 23

RE: Married Dommes - 3/6/2006 12:21:17 AM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline

I'm perfectly upfront. Not only is it glaringly obvious in my profile, but it's clarified in my first email exchange if they did not mention it in theirs. . ("Please confirm that you are well aware that not only am I married, but I have two husbands, a home and a busy life. I am not available for a one-on-one relationship, nor am I in any way planning on changing my family status at any point.") Honestly, only about 10% respond after that. Complete honesty is my first and foremost rule, so I keep my own life in accordance with that rule.

(in reply to MsNichole)

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Post #: 24

RE: Married Dommes - 3/6/2006 1:19:39 AM

LeatherRose

Posts: 62
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline

Mmmm, I agree. My husband has had a horrible time trying to find a female sub who doesn't want a mate or who is not cheating on her husband. His first sub although single, thought that she was going to replace me. *snort* Yeah right! Her ass got booted by him pronto! His second one, we discovered that she is a habitual liar, so for the safe bet he stopped that one. We now know that she is on the prowl and her husband does not know.

I myself find it offensive that subs think it ok to sneak around behind their spouses backs. Never will I nor my husband be with any sub that is cheating on their spouse. We have an open marriage, and we expect any sub to either be single or have an open minded spouse. Period.

I look at it this way, if they are going to lie to the one person who supposedly means the most in life to them, then what the hell are they going to lie to me about?!

Call it a safety precaution or whatever, I personally believe that honesty is the best policy.

LeatherRose

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

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Post #: 25

RE: Married Dommes - 3/6/2006 1:37:49 AM

MarinaBlack

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline

Everyone in the picture knows and why not?
A) Lying is just bad ju-ju period.
B) There is absolutely nothing untoward witha FemDomme wanting a stable of subs - it just makes good sense on SO may levels (that's for another thread).
C) If EVERYONE involved knows the truth from the get-go, they can make an informed decision.

There is no true consent without TRUTH.

Good thread, btw.

(in reply to MsNichole)

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Post #: 26

RE: Married Dommes - 3/6/2006 9:57:38 AM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YveGee

When my profile is open, <smile> you can see that I'm married. I announce it proudly. Occasionally I even add "happily" married!

My marriage is part of me and a significant part of my life. Anyone who wants to be with me has to understand this. I think it's only fair to make sure that all my (potential) partners are aware of my priorities and where they rank in them!

Yve

I totally agree, and my profile states the same, that I am married. As one poster said earlier, how can we expect honesty if we don't give honesty?

(in reply to YveGee)

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Post #: 27

RE: Married Dommes - 3/7/2006 7:38:36 AM

MsNichole

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

WOW, thanks for all the honest replies! I have a few subs who just don't "get it".. (that I'm married, my husband is by now well adjusted to it, and knows that this is who I am).

I totally loved the bit about femdoms needing a stable of subs -- that is SO true. One can never really do it all, and I say the more the merrier ;-) During our relationship it's been a bit hard for me to define who and what we are.. when we went to swingers parties, I was there to pick up another woman, for me to have fun with. I had no interest in sleeping with her hubbie, or S.O, and my husband wasn't going to be sleeping with her, so what the hell is that called?? I went to a few poly meetings, but didn't feel like that applied to us either all the way ;-)

So, I'm a married, bi-sexual, female domme with a stable of slaves... will that fit in a profile? None of the drop downs on yahoo profiles seem to apply properly.. ;-)

Nichole.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

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Post #: 28

RE: Married Dommes - 3/12/2006 9:37:12 PM

SabrinaRising

Posts: 54
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline

Just tell the truth. The truth really sets everyone free; free to fully explore whatever "relationship" is trying to be developed.

When I acquired my boy; and he does live in now, my FC and I were very honest and upfront with him about what his place would be, what would be expected of him and what would and would not be allowed.

And still...he begged my collar. And that is the kind of boy/girl you want. One that knows the whole undivided truth and still begs your collar.
People flourish in honesty; honesty can be be compassionate or blunt but itis always pure.

I don't have time for liars.

Sabrina

(in reply to MsNichole)

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Post #: 29